You Had to Be There
Well, I was (or at least a friend of mine was).
Some of the funniest things ever said.
While testing out Troy's mountain bike:
Q: Is there any way to keep this shock from bottoming out?
A: Well, it's a function of diet and exercise.
At a Colorado St. vs. U of U game:
CSU Fan: I'd rather F*** my dad than go to the U!
Troy: Well, I see you've made your choice
While talking to a roommate:
Mark: I'm just too out of shape...
Dave (interrupting): Baby!  Round
IS a shape!
An Ex-Girlfriend talking to my roommate:
GF: Do you know how mad I was?
Ryan: Seven?
Home
While exiting a casino in Las Vegas, NV:
Stranger: What time is it?
Kyle: Local time?
Upon returning from a Chili's bathroom:
Mark: I was just looking in the mirror and realized; I am one handsome Mother F***er
Kyle: I'm going to have to take a look at that mirror.
Upon returning from the same Chili's bathroom:
Kyle: I just looked in the mirror and realized; I too am one handsome Mother F***er
Upon discovering a laughing soldier at chow:
DS Crabtree: Private
WHAT are you doing?
PFC Landrigan: Nothing Drill Sergeant
DS Crabtree (shaking): Just sit there and (pause) drink your (frustrated pause) food!
In response to his wife's attempt to be nice:
Troy: Face it rachel, I have a big nose and Mark is fat.  That's just the way it is.
At a U of U vs. Arizona game:
Mark: Why don't you go home and F*** a cactus!
While attempting to follow instructions from the computer:
Ann: Hey Pat.  Where's the "Any" key?
(yes, it
really happened)
In response to disparaging remarks about his new "clubbing" shirt:
Red: I got lot's of compliments on my shirt tonight.
Kyle: From who?
Red: Brandi, Marni, Crystal...
Mark: (interrupting) Strippers!?!  You got compliments from strippers Red?  I can't imagine why
they'd say nice things about your shirt?
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