Alright, before we get down to business this week (and believe me, there's a lot of things I want to get off my chest), there's a certain mark I'd like to address. This guy comes on and posts his boring crap on The Dirtsheet, and has the audacity to even mention The Black Hand in the same breath as Bloodsport or Public Enemy. Now, don't get me wrong...I'm a big fan of Sean Boden. But The Black Hand (Boden/Julian Dreamwalker, for the uneducated) has accomplished very little in the world of professional wrestling. Let's stack up the numbers, shall we?

BLOODSPORT:
GWA US Titles (2X)
GWA World Tag Team Titles (never lost)
EWF US Tag Team Titles (2X)
EWF World Tag Team Titles
GWF United States Tag Team Titles (never lost)
GWF World Tag Team Titles (never lost, 20-0-0 record)
NWW World Tag Team Titles (defeated PE, never lost...handed them back to PE)
FINAL RECORD: 50-2-0

THE PUBLIC ENEMY:
About a zillion tag team titles...
FINAL RECORD:120-16-0

THE BLACK HAND:
NYSWF World Tag Team Titles (2x)
FINAL RECORD: 5-7-1

Now, this record is much different than the alleged record of 11-2-0 by Mr. Jonathan McMahon. So I figured I'd do some research, and log each of the Black Hand's matches (they've only competed in the NYSWF, by the way). Here you are.

9/10/00: Loss (w/ NOTHING) to Jonathan Storm & The Love Machines
9/17/00: Win over The Love Machines
10/29/00: Win over the Wanderers/M2S/New England's Finest
11/5/00: Win over the Road Crew
11/11/00: Loss to The Fellowship
11/26/00: Loss to Menace 2 Society
12/3/00: Draw with the Wanderers
12/10/00: Loss to Menace 2 Society
4/1/01: Win over Ryan Nyquist/Eclipse
4/8/01: Loss to The Dark Messiah/Azazel
4/15/01: Loss to Rated-X
4/21/01: Win over X-Calibur/Strider
4/29/01: Loss to The Underground Evolution

And now, a word to Mr. McMahon. Quit shilling for your 'clients' in your columns. Julian Dreamwalker has yet to secure a legitimiate title reign in this circuit, and the same goes for Jonathan Storm. Hell, they've only beaten each other for titles. And keep marking for Storm's 102 wins...I guarantee he's gotten half of those against inferior competition. Face it, McMahon...your clients simply can't match up to the standards set by the rest of the professionals in this circuit. Deal with it, kid.

Now, shall we move on with the actual column? Yes? I thought so.

MTT2

The wrestling world is abuzz this week, as former NEWF President Chris Best has decided, in conjunction with Dark Force Rising Entertainment and Chris Furman, to open the second annual Millenium Tag Tournament. The roster is very impressive this year, but I'm told it was nearly even more impressive. My inside sources tell me that among some of the teams considering joining were Bloodsport, Public Enemy, and a legendary teaming of The Golden One and Jeff Bunda. Apparently, Bunda was demanding too much money, and Best decided that it simply wasn't worth the money to sign the Franchise. Bloodsport and Public Enemy stepped down simply in order to have the opportunity to face The Black Hand.

Who are my favorites in the tournament? I have three picks, as of right now. My first, and my odds-on favorite, is the team of Jack Daniels and Venom. I know, they're arch-enemies, but have we ever seen a team as dynamic as this? A close second in my book is the team of Dysfunction, also featuring hated rivals in Michael Draven and Alexander Haven. Haven is a legend in the NYSWF, and Michael Draven is just now beginning to come into his own. And finally...Long Island Hardcore. If these guys can get their heads out of the booze and focus, I don't think there's a team that can stop them in this tournament.

EWA

All is quiet on the EWA front, as we approach the second edition of Wednesday Night War. President Gates is said to be frustrated with his inability to get new talent to join the federation, and is supposedly reaching out feelers to just about anyone who can execute a legdrop. (Let's hope this isn't the sign of Hulkamania's return) Rumor has it that Gates is satisfied with his current talent - he just feels that he needs more for the EWA to return to its former greatness.

There is one huge breaking story out of Muncie, however. Apparently, Evan Douglas has left the EWA, after meeting with President Gates in a closed-door meeting last Saturday. It is said that the two men had extreme creative differences, and supposedly Evan was spotted storming out of EWA Headquarters and speeding away in his car. I'll try to update you as more information comes in, but at this time, it appears that Evan Douglas has indeed left the EWA.

NPWA

I have inside news that President Angela Chang is very concerned about letting SmirtDogg actively compete in the ring again, and even went so far as to try and meet with him to convince him not to wrestle. It was said that Chang reluctantly agreed to let SmirtDogg (Kelvin Hailey) wrestle, after signing an agreement with Hailey that states that Devine Entertainment Inc. will not be responsible if SmirtDogg shall suffer any injuries resulting in his action.

Rumors are flying around that the match between Haywood Jublome and Michael Draven at DEvine Intervention will be a Ladder Match for the World Television Title, should Draven still have the belt at that time. I can neither confirm nor deny these rumors at this time, but my sources within the NPWA have confirmed that during two separate incidents backstage, wrestlers were forced to separate Jublome and Draven from nearly killing each other. At one point, Vice President Simurda even threatened to call the police if the two could not control theirselves, to which Draven responded by promptly leaving the arena. My sources tell me it is likely that he will not show up for Malice, but is still on good terms with the NPWA and is in no danger of being terminated or quitting.

The NPWA is said to be very impressed with Sean Boden's work as of late, and is very confident that his match with Tryst in the heart of Deep Ellum will steal the show this Monday.

Turmoil in Armageddon? Numerous reports are coming in concering the status of this group, which is said to be on its way out. Michael Draven has seemingly all but left the group, with his new-found alliances with SmirtDogg and Erik Draven, and is said to have angered the other members, as these alliances greatly constrast with Armageddon's goals. Evan Douglas and Bazooka Joe are still on the outs after last week's U.S. Title match, and the two apparently haven't spoken much since, although they will be teaming together in the MTT2. Dave Kramer is on the shelf with an injury to his knee, and Jack Daniels has been set on trying to regain his Heavyweight Title.

Thoughts within some members of the wrestling community are that the Craven Blood death is simply a work, as his name is still listed on NPWA publications and advertising, as well as the roster on the fed's official website.

What Happened Off Camera At Sabotage:
The Latino Powers d. BioHazard Area to retain the NPWA World Tag Team Titles
Dredd d. Paladin
Venom d. Lord Christopher Yorke in a squash

That's all for this edition of Mindwipe. I'm Royce Garland, and I'll see you marks next week.