I need to say two things before I start.

As much as I hate stating editorial policy in public, I feel that this must be said, and it must be said here. Garland, McMahon, this goes no further than it has. We have to work together on this thing, and I don't want to have to deal with that sort of thing. I'll remind you of two things: 1) I am one of the co-editors of this publication, and I will not hesitate to throw both your asses back out on the street, and 2) I am the only person in this office that can see over every cubicle in the room while sitting down in my chair. You guys keep this professional, or I'm-a have to step on the both of ya.

Secondly, I must say something about the Black Hand's appearance at the MTT2. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Oh, man... first Boden has to face Nukeman for the EWA Hardcore title, then he goes up against Tryst, and now he's got to face both Bloodsport AND Public Enemy? With Julian Dreamwalker?! Oh man, usually I have to pay for this kind of entertainment. I'll be rooting for the underdogs on that one... eh, who the hell am I kidding? Beat 'em senseless!

OK, now that that's over with, I'll start reporting on the NPWA. I don't know whether or not you can tell, but I'm in a better mood today... news like that just makes me smile.

The second edition of Sabotage was nothing to scoff at. Excellent wrestling, a couple of big debuts, and one of the most brutal matches I've ever seen. Let's take a look, shall we?

~ It seemed this week, Sabotage was the place to see backstage shenanigans. Last week, Malice was overflowing with them. Let's hope Chang and Simurda can even it out a little more.

~ The show starts with a little exhibitionism on the parts of Haywood Jublome and Christina Knight (we all know her answer to that question, no doubt). While Knight and Jublome were having a Vivid moment, Michael Draven came in, and stole Haywood's clothes. Well, that's a little humiliating, no? The show continues...

~ ...and it cuts to a hospital, where we can see former Commish Kanyon with his wife. Who comes along, but Venom! Will this encounter be better than last week? Oh yeah. Venom plants him on the hospital floor with the Extreme Poison, and steals a syringe full of insulin from a nurse, jabbing it into Kanyon's arm. Those of you who don't know, that's a very bad thing to do, if you aren't diabetic. As he's about to jab a second syringe of insulin into Kanyon, hospital security subdues Venom, and he's taken out in cuffs. Venom promises it's not over... and after that, this feud has been redeemed.

~ Willmott comes out, and predicts the outcome of the tag match later in the evening, as a fan jumps the rail, and attacks him. Man, I marked out for that guy, anyone who's got the balls to do that deserves a contract. Anyway, Willmott planted the guy with a sledgehammer, and would've continued, if not for Michael Draven, who came down to the ring a little too late.

~ Azmyth d. Quintin Lucas. As you all read yesterday, take a guess who's NOT winning this match. But what a debut for Azmyth, sending Q off in grand fashion. Q's lucky to be a live after that one, which ended with Azmyth hitting a Blackout onto a chair. So long, Quintin, we hardly knew ye... and we hardly cared, either.

~ Smirt beats on Haywood after Haywood finishes discussing plans for the tag match later in the night... this had to have been previously recorded, because Haywood was still wearing clothing. No biggie, just a tiny continuity error. The people still got the point. That point? That Haywood would know JUST how Smirt feels thanks to his condition, seeing as Smirt Tonya Hardinged him with a golf club.

~ Sean Sanders be in the hizzouse! And he was never informed about the sale of the NEWF! Either way, he's got the locker room that would've been TME's, but TME's on the shelf. As Sanders makes his way toward the locker room, he bumps into Michael Draven! They exchange some "choice words," considering their history, and barely avoid a confrontation. Sanders is quite relieved about that.

~ Draven immediately runs into... the Latino Powers? He's trying to pawn off Haywood's clothes to the tag champs, but Alex and Chri-- I mean, of course, Jorge and Jose (pay up, Angie, I kept their secret) seem uninterested. It looks like Draven actually knows what's going on with LP, and I congratulate him on not being as dumb as a fucking rock, like most of the rest of the NPWA.

~ Paladin d. DJ Deadly. An excellent debut for both men. I see Paladin climbing the card in the near future. As for Deadly, he just needs a little more practice, and a little less ego, and he'll be just fine.

~ Sean Sanders is watching the Price Is Right, and sipping on some NyQuil... I guess they just keep that in TME's room for every show. Anyway, who stumbles in but... Smirtdogg?! Sanders just looks up at him, and Smirt gets annoyed and leaves. Sanders must be thinking it's time to stop drinking the NyQuil.

~ Michael Draven again, and he's still looking to pawn off Haywood's stuff, so who does he run into? Sean Boden. Boden, rightfully nervous about his match with Tryst, actually buys and wears clothing that once touched the body of Haywood Jublome. Thankfully, he does not buy his shoes. Draven tells him that he can't go to Ellum with him, but he wishes him luck.

~ Ray Willmott tells Haywood the bad news... his only article of clothing for the rest of the night is the pair of silk boxers he's wearing... around his ankles. We really didn't need to see any more of the Haywood/Knight exploits, in my opinion, but Chang did say she liked sex and violence... well, there's half the quota for the night.

~ Jublome and Willmott d. Draven and SmirtDogg in one of the biggest screwjobs I've ever seen in my life. I swear, the entire roster must've been down at the ring at one point in that match. Either way, Haywood pinned Draven (thank you, Venom) and got the 3... but just about everybody involved in the actual match was unconscious.

~ Ray Willmott got a mysterious message from... somebody, delivered to his locker room before the match. With what the message said ("I own you, bitch"), hell, it coulda been anyone.

~ Latino Powers and Long Island Hardcore fight to a draw. Grrrr... Jared, CJ, if you're reading this, you both should... who the hell am I kidding? They can't read. However, I do think it's funny that LIHC could fight Latino Powers to a draw when they were drunk to the point where they could hardly stand up. That makes me smile a little.

~ Sean Sanders is in his room, and gets clobbered by someone opening the door... that someone is... Sean Boden?! Boden is looking for someone to cover his back in Ellum, and apparently, everyone else he's asked had their reasons for not going. Sanders, on the other hand, jumps at the chance (moron).

~ Jack Daniels just found something crazy in his bag... what is it? Some sort of blade, apparently... care of the Bloodsports! Well, this could be interesting.

~ Venom d. Jack Daniels. HOLEEEE SHIT. That's the best way to describe this match-up, if you ask me. Venom and Daniels gave blood, sweat, tears, and lots more blood in the most violent NPWA match I've seen in a long time. Venom came away with the win, but at what price? He lost a LOT of blood, and his hand is sliced open beyond belief... as for Daniels, his head has to hurt like hell today. Jesus Christ. Let me say this: I'm glad it wasn't me.

All in all, Sabotage lived up to its expectations--and we expected a lot. Would Malice prove to be as satisfying? With matches like Boden v. Tryst, Hoffman v. Kanyon, and (good god!) Marcus Hailey v. Bazooka Joe? You better believe it!

~ This night started off with a video package commemorating the death of Craven Blood. Now, I'm working for the NPWA, and I STILL can't tell if this is real or a work. Probably the same way the people in the back felt about Owen Hart. We'll see what happens.

~ Grady Smith and Marcus Hailey came out to discuss their plans for the NPWA Heavyweight Belt, but were interrupted by none other than President Chang herself! She made it clear that she runs the show here, and set up a match for the week before DEVine Intervention... Marcus Hailey v. Erik Draven! Not only is the match for the number one contender to the World Title, but if Hailey doesn't win, you can bet there's no chance in hell he'll be recieving another World Title shot until 2005! Damn!

~ Phoenix Dark d. Rhino. Another good debut, and another goodbye. Rhino absolutely got his ass handed to him, and Dark adds another win under his belt. Oh, what's that you say? Rhino is... fired? Aw, drat. Cry me a river.
After the match, Haywood decided he'd come down, show Dark a thing or two, and beat some more sense into the departing Rhino. Again, I'm just sooo upset about that. See? Can't you see the sadness on my face? No? I didn't think so.

~ BioHazard Area d. Extreme Danger. Not quite the yawn-fest I expected it to be, but not exactly a five-star match-up, either. 5 minutes of Extreme Danger getting absolutely creamed. I'd pay to see that, but not much more than a buck.

~ Angela Chang and Ray Willmott? One word: ewwww.

~ Willmott leaves Chang's office, and gets CRACKED by Phoenix Dark. Dark's impressed me so far, but he may be getting himself in a little too deep here.

~ Sean Boden d. Tryst. Now, you all know what I expected to see here, and to tell you the truth, I had already made the funeral arrangements. Now I not only feel silly, but I have gained a lot more respect for an old friend after this match. Sean Boden entered the antique shop a man, and exited it a legend. The only man to not only survive the Black Rain... but to get up from it. The only man I've ever seen knock out Tryst. This match more than stole the show, it will be THE highlight reel for quite a while. If Boden has proven anything, it's that he's not someone to be trifled with. Is he any closer to getting whole again? Who knows? But I can tell you one thing: Boden's in some serious pain today. He called me to tell me just that, actually.

~ Kanyon d. Matt Hoffman in a Hardcore Title qualifying match. Wow. This one was one hell of a contest, with Kanyon not even touching weapons, just like he said he would! Hoffman started off with the momentum, but Kanyon changed it around... this one went back and forth, but it ended with Kanyon using the Spinal Tap, something he has used maybe once, for good reason! Hoffman's lucky to be alive right now, not just defeated.
As the match comes to an end, Kanyon calls out Venom, and absolutely covers him in shit. Ah, the benefits of a hospital stay.

~ Marcus Hailey d. Bazooka Joe. An excellent match from beginning to end. Joe is impressing EVERYBODY with his work in the ring, and Hailey... well, he's a member of a wrestling dynasty, for crying out loud. A tense, exciting match-up. Good to see a clean win on this one, too.

~ Grady Smith and Erik Draven d. Johnny THM and Lunatikk Crippler, advancing them to the Lethal Lottery finals. And what a match this was... it was almost more interesting to watch the heat between Grady and Draven than it was to watch the match... almost. In the end, Grady planted Johnny with a Chokebuster, and Draven covered to steal the win out from under him. It goes without saying that Grady's gotta be pissed about that one. Can this team make it past the finals? We'll have to see.

So there you have it. Malice was a great show... with exceptional matches like Boden/Tryst, and the Lethal Lottery, and with some clunkers, like Extreme Danger/BioHazard Area 762. There's no doubt that next week will be exciting as hell, simply because I said so. Don't believe me? See for yourself.

On Sabotage:
~ Kade Mikado debuts against another rookie, Jordan Lockhart. You know what I always say when there's someone debuting in a match... "keep an eye on this one."

~ Johnny the Homicidal Maniac faces off against DJ Deadly in another match to qualify for the Hardcore Title. Needless to say, this one should be a violent, bloody match... gotta love it.

~ Sean Boden takes on Chris Kanyon. This will probably be the match of the night. Boden's coming off a HUGE win against Tryst, but Kanyon defeated Matt Hoffman just last week... and Hoffman's the one man Boden has never truly defeated. What does this mean? We'll have to wait and see.

~ In non-title action, LIHC goes up against the champions, Latino Powers, and BioHazard Area! Should be a good one, but of course, we knew that. Teehee!

~ In the Main Event, the Grady/Draven team goes up against the favorites for this one, Haywood Jublome and Evan Douglas, in the finals of the Lethal Lottery. Whoever wins this one gets a Tag Title shot, so this one's one to watch.

And on Malice:
~ Sean Sanders returns to the ring to take on the newest phenom, Phoenix Dark. Dark's good... but good enough to beat the Colonel? I dunno...

~ Azmyth vs. Paladin vs. Lunatikk Crippler. Two newcomers and a vet. All three have the talent needed to succeed in this sport. This could be a show-stealer.

~ Marcus Hailey and Jack Daniels face off in a no-holds-barred grudge match. I take it back. This'll be the show stealer.

~ Venom and Bazooka Joe do battle for the US Title. This one will definitely be one to watch... who the hell am I kidding? All the matches so far are pretty even, and should be excellent.

~ The Main Event pits Ray Willmott against Michael Draven once more in a Sledgehammer match for the TV Title. We've seen this match before, and we may see it again, but these two are fighting with the most intensity either has ever had. This one could go either way.

Watch the shows. You want to. You need to. It's the best wrestling you'll ever see (cha-ching! More advertising money for Camel).

Camel out.