Ryan "Camel" Cuddihy: October 8, 2001

It's that time again. That time of month when we shell out upwards of $25 for the privelage of seeing men beat the shit out of each other. That's right. It's PPV time.

More specifically, it's time for the EWA's second King of the Ring. Coming to you LIVE October 11th at the America West Arena in Phoenix, AZ, Duane Gates and the EWA have come up with a mindblowing PPV extravaganza. Maybe I'm exaggerating, but hey, whatever, my job is to hype things. I'm a hype master, baby.

13 vicious matches, one night, more blood than most hospitals could dream of, the King of the Ring 2K1 looks to be one of the better EWA PPVs since its reopening... quite possibly ever. Even the undercard matches are looking to be solid, 3-star-at-the-very-least matches. Without further ado, let's take a look-see at the PPV to buy this year.

~ Dredd takes on Jonathan Snyder, formerly Johnny Napalm. This one's a grudge match, whether it's billed that way or not. We're going back to really old feuds... Damage, Inc. and HATE way back in the day in the NYSWF... after all, we're talking Zero's brother in blood, and his brother in HATE. It'll be a damn good one.

~ It's Hardcore Rules, as the Fallen One takes on the Walking Triple Threat. I'm happy to see the real Jack Reed back, personally... let's see if TFO can make a big statement here and defeat the schizo. I don't care what happens, as long as I get to see Crazy Eddie.

~ Next up are the two King of the Ring Semifinal matches, pitting Johnny Flash against Harvey Knox, and X-Calibur against Andre Griffin. This is a volitile group here... it's tough to tell where this one's gonna go. X-Calibur's surprised just about everybody, as has Harvey Knox, but do they have enough umph to take out established guys like Griffin or Flash? My prediction: Flash and X-Calibur move on.

~ No DQ as Joe Satre and Will Haynes lock up. Can Haynes bring back some credibility to FTW, or will Satre live to bitch-slap a ho another day? Will Satre's age be a factor? Personally, I doubt it, but I still think this one's too close to call... neither man has established themselves in the EWA since their returns enough to make an educated guess.

~ FTW turns inward, as Andre Griffin and Venom battle it out for... well, basically for blood, although the right to eat fetus sandwiches could always be added as a stipulation. I'm not so sure that Griffin can pull it off when he's already got one, possibly two other matches on the same night. Add to it that Venom turned on FTW, the stable he helped create, and Venom must be pretty got-dam pissed.

~ It's a lover's quarrel as Ray Willmott and Laura lock up in non-title action. The history behind this runs deep... but I'd really rather not think about it. It's almost as bad as Laura and Gates. Ew.

~ Chris Kage puts his EWA Lightheavyweight Title on the line in his first match of the night, against Sean Boden. This match would be unimportant in the grand scheme of things, given Kage's match with Cash later on in the night, but with the stips, he may not make it to that match. This is the Human Torch we're talking about... if you want a preview, go check out NYSWF's New Year's Revolution and watch the ICE/Phoenix match. This match nearly put Jason Phoenix in retirement... and Kage not only has to survive this match, he's gotta face Cash later in the night? Even if he does win both, his title reign may only last a day, since a wrestler in a wheelchair can't do much. Good luck to you, Chris Kage.

~ Someone's getting Buried Alive, as The Golden One and Johnny Blaze finally put an end to their feud. This one's probably been the most heated of the feuds we've seen, and there's no question that this match will be the last time either man tries to cross the other... the damage will be that great.

~ Harvey Knox defends his Hardcore Title and Arch Kincaid defends April Kincaid in a Heaven and Hell match. This one may just steal the show... who knows what Harvey Knox has in store for Kincaid? He's been one step ahead of Kincaid every week... will Kincaid leave this one victorious? Better yet... will he leave at all?

~ Evan Douglas and Jack Daniels get locked up in the Steel Cage... and only one man's coming out. This one's been smoldering since the NPWA ruled the airwaves, and quite frankly, this could tear down the house if they're not careful. Reports have confirmed that this has gone beyond a professional rivalry... these men are out for blood, and blood they will get.

~ King of the Ring Finals. Continuing with my predictions, I see Johnny Flash as our new number one contender.

~ The Main Event--if Chris Kage makes it to it--will pit Kage against the EWA World Heavyweight Champion, Harding Cash. Chris Kage now has the chance to do what Grady Smith did, and Sean Boden attempted: become a double World Champion, and be the first person to hold both the EWA Title and the NYSWF Title at the same time. I'll be watching, and hoping he can pull it off.

Call your local cable company and demand that you get the EWA's King of the Ring. Do it, or I will hunt you down and beat you with a rotten fish.

Camel out.