o Five day vacation requires only one suitcase.
o Guys in hockey masks don't attack you.
o You can kill your own food.
o The garage is all yours.
o You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
o You never have to clean the toilet.
o Sex means never worrying about your reputation.
o Wedding plans take care of themselves.
o Your underwear is $10 for a three pack.
o The National College Cheerleading Championship
o You can write your name in the snow.
o Flowers fix everything.
o You can wear a white shirt to a water park.
o Three pair of shoes are more than enough.
o You can eat a banana in a hardware store.
o Nobody stops telling a good dirty joke when you walk into the room.
o You can whip your shirt off on a hot day.
o The world is your urinal.
o You can admire Clint Eastwood without starving yourself to look like him.
o You know at least 20 ways to open a beer bottle.
o If you retain water, it's in a canteen.
o The remote is yours and yours alone.
o People never glance at your chest when you're talking to them.
o Bachelor parties rule over bridal showers.
o Someday you'll be a dirty old man.
o You think the idea of punting a small dog is funny.
o If something mechanical didn't work, you can bash it with a hammer and throw it across the room.
o Baywatch
o There is always a game on somewhere
