PRE-MARRIAGE SURVEY

Name ____________________

Alias _________

Felony Convictions _________

 

1. When you purchase fine china, do you.

    1. Need to buy matching silverware.
    2. Need a new table to match the silverware and china.
    3. Need to buy a china hutch to match the table, the silverware and the china.
    4. Re-tile the floor to match the new china hutch that matches the new table, which matches the new silverware that matches the new china.
    5. You do not think that small.

 

2. When you say, "I do" do you then "I don’t"

    1. True
    2. False
    3. I will tell you after we are married.

 

3. Do you enjoy him paying for a romantic dinner for two, but only cook Mac-n-cheese for two.

    1. True
    2. False
    3. Let me get back to you the cheese is burning.

 

4. Do you?

    1. Take a multivitamin
    2. Take Prozac
    3. Gin and Tonic

 

5. Do you sleep better after

    1. A warm bath and reading a good book
    2. A nice back massage
    3. Refusing to make love to him and pointing out all his character flaws

 

6. Do you spend half of your time telling him we need to wait until after we are married….

    1. False
    2. And spend the other half of the time figuring out what other excuse you can use after you are married.

 

7. When balancing your checkbook

    1. Balance against your statement
    2. Balance as you go
    3. Figure you have money as long as there are still checks in the checkbook

 

8. Do you see credit cards as

    1. A privilege
    2. A debt
    3. YEAH!!!!! Free money.

 

  1. Do you see marriage as,
    1. A life long commitment
    2. Being with your best friend for life
    3. A life long debt that he owes you

 

 

10. When eating breakfast in the morning do you...

    1. Read the front page of the newspaper
    2. Read the comics section
    3. Skim over his life insurance policy

 

11. What does online mean to you?

    1. Using current technology to keep informed
    2. A way to surf the net
    3. The bat phone connected directly to your mother’s house

 

  1. When you have done something wrong, do you
    1. Say your sorry
    2. Point out in detail every incident he has done for the last 5 years
    3. Same as B except the last 10 years
    4. Yell at him until he is totally confused and he says he is sorry

 

13. How often do you compromise?

    1. Often
    2. Not often
    3. I do not understand the question. What does compromise mean?
    4. I married him, how much more of a compromise do you want?

 

14. You consider your talent to be

    1. Cooking
    2. Poetry
    3. Art
    4. The art of demoralizing the one you love and cherish until he is devoid of any self worth

 

  1. A night out with the ladies consists of
    1. Bingo
    2. Casual dinner
    3. Male bashing

 

16. Do you want

    1. A career
    2. Love
    3. Scratch A and B, a sugar daddy

 

17. Do you spend your time

    1. Looking to better yourself
    2. Exercising
    3. Looking to advance in your career
    4. Thinking of all the ways you are going to spend the money that you are sure to win in the lottery someday

 
  1. When he has worked 14 hours and comes home and you want some attention, he starts to doze off as the two of you are watching your favorite TV show, you then…
    1. Wake him up and go to bed with him
    2. Wake him up and tell him to go to bed
    3. Take off your shoe and throw it at his head

 

19. If you could change one thing about him, it would be

    1. His cologne
    2. His style of clothes
    3. His haircut
    4. His personality, physique, as well as all of the above

 

20. A typical day for me is

    1. Sleeping in and relaxing all day in my pajamas, making up little white lies of all the things you accomplished today
    2. Taking long walks in the park, and working out
    3. A challenging day at work
    4. Sleeping in and not taking a shower, waiting for him to come home from a long day of work so you can spend the evening tearing down what little is left of his ego

 

 
Hosted by www.Geocities.ws

1