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On
his wife's birthday Ralph was clever, a Tombstone's the gift that will
last forever.
This
great musician is not just dozing, here he lies now decomposing.
Here
lies John's body we lost his head, but he doesn't need it cuz he's dead.
Hinges
rusty on your loved ones coffin, tis not a lid you'll open often.
Here
lies a man twas known as Ed, so loud alive so quiet dead.
Here
lies dear old Ted, slipped and fell and broke his head.
Here
lies my sister the talk show host, now that she's dead we love her the
most.
Here
lies Uncle Bunder, see ya down under.
Here
lies great Aunt Bertha , she lied more that she was wertha.
Owen
Moore has gone away, Owin' more than he could pay.
Pretty
hair and pretty face, isn't it a sorry fate that she won't live to Graduate.
Ruth
and Johnny side by side went out for an auto ride, they hit a bump ruth
hit a tree and johnny kept going....rutthlessly.
Here
should lie the body of Spooky Green. Last seen here on Halloween.
Here
lies John Hall who took a dive after dark, lost his spear ...found a shark
Here
lies Shop A. lott, her credit card will never rott.
Here
lies Winky, went swimming with an Octopus, now he's very Inky.
Here
lies Henry Blake, he stepped on the gas instead of the break.
Here
lies the Pillsbury Dough Boy, he will rise again.
Here
I lie and no wonder I'm dead, for the wheels of a semi went over my head.
Here
lies Lester Moore, four slugs from a 44. No Les No More.
Dear
departed brother Dave, he chased a Bear into a cave.
Here
lies a man named Martin, the lights went out coming aroud the mountain.
Here
lies Cy N. Ide, he ate lunch then he died.
Here
lies brother Ned, too bad he rolled off the bed, now he's dead.
Here
lies good old Fred, a great big rock fell on his head.
So
ye folk who read this carving, even if you are cold and starving, don't
use crime to get you bye, curious..I'll tell you why? Luck comes in fits
and fouts and one day it will run out!
Grievous
end await you all, who bang your heads against a wall. Just ask Luther
Bone, who lies beneath this dark cold stone!
Beneath
this stone lies Gary Bracey, he wound up here for being lazy. So player,
don't be a hog, put down your joystick and go for a jog.
Phil
Trelford, this is his grave, he cut himself while having a shave. Silly
fool didn't know first aid. Now looky here at the price he paid.
In
this grave lies young Fred Jones, once had flesh, now just bones.
Under
here lies old Rab Walker, who had a name for being a talker. Until one
day he swalled a moth and choked and choked and coughed and coughed. He
didn't talk well to this change of diet. Now Lady Luck favors the quiet.
This
is the grave of Benny Blue, who stole many pots of glue, many close shaves
he nearly had, but Benny was a naughty lad, his erroneous way he did not
mend and thus came to a sticky end.
I'll
tell you a tale of nine lives Ivan, who's burried in this mausoleum, Turnbull
was his second name, and a life of crime was his game. Nine times he had
close shaves, but the tenth one put him in his grave.
Johnny
May got sick one day, the next day he seemed okay. The third day in he
looked quite ill, it was this day he wrote his will. And good job too is
what I say, for on the next morn he passed away. Where's he now Isee you
wonder, he's beneath your feet, six feet under.
John
Hackleton, what a cad, some would say he was quite sad. That is why he
passed away, or rumor has it anyway.
Below
this tomb is the graveyard poet. He couldn't rhyne, but didn't know it.
Until the time he fell down a grate, and by that time he couldn't do anything
about it.
Three
Frogs Bertie's end was grim. For someone threw a tomato at him. Now tomato's
didn't hurt when they're in the skin, but this tomato did, cuz it was still
in the tin.

HEADSTONES
M.T.TOMB WIL B. BACK R.U.NEXT
U.R.GONE OTTA B.ALIVE YETTA NOTHER
JUSTIN TYME FRANK N. STEIN MUMMY B. WARE
BARRY A. ALIVE EMMA GHOST BERRY D. HATCHET
IMA GONER IMA ROTTEN C.U.AGAIN
I.M.ALIVE I.B.DEAD Y.M.HERE
I.L.BEBACK U.D.MAN RAY N. CARNATION
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