GAIL
Gail has been voted into position of the ship's nicest crew member, after killing off the competition with an oversized chip-fork stolen from Dodgy Derek's. 

She spends much of her time imitating chickens in order to confuse fellow shipmates while she swiftly steals their tea and biscuits.

Altough happily engaged, she is vying for the position of ship's wench, unhappy with her current status as 'duck-spotter'. There are fears for the safety of the ship's wench, and she is currently in hiding from Gail's increasingly frightening cutlery antics. Even stereos are not safe around her.
1