Funny Quotes

" It is always the best policy to speak the truth - unless, of course, you are an exceptionally good liar." - Jerome K Jerome, English Journalist

" It's not that I'm afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when it happens. " - Woody Allen

" I am not conceited. It is just that I have a fondness for the good things in life and I happen to be one of them." - Kenneth Williams

" Experience is a comb which nature gives to men when they are bald. " - Anonymous

"He who eats alone chokes alone." - Arab proverb

"I am a marvellous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man, I keep his house." - Zsa Zsa Gabor,Hungarian film actress. Quoted from one of her movies.

"If you resolve to give up smoking, drinking and loving, you don't actually live longer; it just seems longer." - Clement Freud, An English journalist.

"I'm tired of Love: I'm still more tired of Rhyme.

But Money gives me pleasure all the time." - Hilaire Belloc, from one of his poems.

" I stopped believing in Santa Claus at an early age. Mother took me to see him in a department store, and he asked me for my autograph." - Shirley Temple, US Actress.

On Love and Marriage

" A man in love is incomplete until he has married. Then he's finished. " - quoted in Newsweek,March 1960

" An archaeologist is the best husband any woman can have: the older she gets, the more interested he is in her." - Agatha Christie

"From birth to 18 a girl needs good parents. From 18 to 35, she needs good looks. From 35 to 55, good personality.From 55 on, she needs good cash. I'm saving my money." - Sophie Tucker

"Husbands are like fires - they go out when unattended." - Quoted in Newsweek 1960

" I should've known something was wrong with my first wife when I brought her home to meet my parents - they approved of her but my dog died." - Woody Allen

" It takes a woman twenty years to make a man of her son, and another woman twenty minutes to make a fool of him. " - Helen Rowland, US Writer

Serious Quotes

`Blessed is the man who expects nothing, for he shall never be disappointed´ - Alexander Pope

" A bad book is as much of a labour to write as a good one; it comes as sincerely from its author's soul." - Aldous Huxley

" A belief in a supernatural source of evil is not necessary; men alone are quite capable of every wickedness. " - Joseph Conard

" A book is never a masterpiece: it becomes one. Genius is the talent of a dead man. " - Edmond and Jules de Goncourt, French Writers

" Absence and letters are the forcing ground of love. What renews it and confirms it is presence and bed." - Gerald Brenan

" Absence is to love what wind is to fire; It extinguishes the small, it kindles the great. " - Roger Bussy-Rambutin, French poet and soldier

" Show me a sane man and I will cure him for you." - Carl Jung, Swiss Psychiatrist

" No human relation gives one possession in another - every two souls are absolutely different. In friendship or in love, the two side by side raise hands together to find what one cannot reach alone. " - Kahlil Gibran, Syrian Poet.