Note: I wrote this on a lark. For some reason, I came up with the title, and
it took me writing a fic to get it out. Hope you like it...
Onward...
"Touched By An Evangelion" -- Special Edition
By: Mark Nason.
Neon Genesis Evangelion and related characters/concepts copyright Hideaki
Anno/Gainax and TV Tokyo, and is released in the U.S. by AD Vision. Touched
By An Angel and related characters/concepts copyright CBS and probably some
other folks. I use all this stuff without permission. Please don't sue me,
you won't get jack. NYAH!!! 8b pbblt!
BTW, this is something of a parody -- try not to get offended. And here's a
smile so you know it's all in fun! 8)
*****************************************************************************
TIME: AD 2015 (Springtime)
PLACE: Tokyo-3, Japan.
It was a pleasant spring day in Tokyo-3; The sun was shining, the birds
were singing... you get the general idea. Among the crowds of people moving
through the streets were two women; both seemingly direct opposites,
appearance-wise; one young and white, the other elderly and black.
"Okay, Tess," the young woman said, "why *are* we in Tokyo in the first
place?"
"Monica," said the old woman, "we were told that this is our next
assignment.I don't want to be here any longer than I have to ... something
about this place just doesn't *feel* right."
"I don't see what you mean," replied Monica. "Everything looks fine to
me ... well, except for the cars, but they could be new models..."
"If you say so, Monica," said Tess; then with a sigh, she continued," but
there's still something about this place I just don't like."
"Fine, Tess; if this place gives you the creeps, then let's just do our job
and go on to the next assignment, okay?"
"Okay, Monica. You win," replied Tess. "Let's get to work."
Monica looked around and said, "Tess, why is the city so deserted? You'd
figure there'd be more people around at this time of day."
Tess looked around also. "Hmm. You're right; this is strange," Tess said
with an uneasy tone in her voice.
"Ahem." A voice came from behind them. Monica and Tess both jumped in their
tracks, then turned to find Andrew, the angel of Death behind them. "Monica,
Tess," he began. "I have something important to tell you."
"What is it, Andrew?", replied Monica.
Andrew composed himself for a second before continuing. "Well, there was a
mistake in your transit to Tokyo, and..."
"A mistake? What do you mean, a mistake?", Tess said impatiently.
"Well," Andrew started, "you ARE in Tokyo, However ... umm ... it would
seem that you mistakenly got transited to a ... um ... well ... *different*
Tokyo, and..."
Monica interrupted. "What do you mean, 'different'? I don't quite
understand the point you're trying to get across."
Andrew squirmed. "Well, you're in Tokyo, but ... well, you're in a different
universe. And, uh ... I *really* don't think that they take too kindly to
angels here..." A pained expression came over Andrew's face as he said that.
"Okay. So they're all on *his* side or something?", said Tess, referring
to ... you know ... the guy DOWNstairs. (You know *who* I mean... ~_O )
"Fine, whatever you say. So, are you here to help us with our assignment?"
Andrew looked at his toes and said sheepishly, "Uhh ... not exactly."
Monica and Tess grew more impatient. "What, then?", they both shouted in
unison as the sky above them suddenly grew dark. They both looked up as
Andrew said, "That.", and they both saw a giant foot hovering above them.
"...oh f!?k," Monica whispered as she and Tess were squished flat by the
giant foot. Andrew could only stare in shock as the giant red-colored robot
walked down the streets of Tokyo-3.
Andrew sighed. "Gee. I guess they never had a chance." He looked at the
retreating robot, and read some text on it that said: EVA UNIT-02. "Then
again, didn't they know that I'm the angel of Death?", Andrew sighed as he
looked down at the giant footprint with the two women inside. "Oh, well.
I suppose the people of *this* Earth aren't very fond of angels, aren't
they?" Andrew reached down and proceeded to peel the two women from where
they lay. He then rolled each of them into tube-like shapes and put them
under his arm as he faded from sight.
<<< The End. >>>
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-= Afterword =-
* or *
"Why, oh why did I write this God-awful thing?"
Well ... the title popped into my head. And snowballed from there.
I guess you've figured out by now that I dislike 'Touched By An Angel'.
It's WAY too syrupy for my tastes (or maybe I've grown WAY too cynical in
my old age). I guess I just wanted to see Roma Downey get squished. (and
what normal person wouldn't?) Plus, I kinda wondered how they get from
place to place, so I assumed they "teleported"(or whatever the heavenly
equivalent might be).
Of course, someone's probably going to ask this question: "Why Asuka?"
Simple. Watch 'End of Evangelion' sometime and you'll see what I
mean... ~_O
Okay, by now, odds are some of you are asking: "Special Edition?" Yup. I
figured if George Lucas can do it with the original "Star Wars" trilogy...
Actually, one of the prereaders for the sequel to "Touched by An Evangelion"
suggested I rewrite this one to make it mesh more with the sequel(thanks,
Disaster!). And so, this is the result. Still quite spammy, though...
Well, that's it. Hope you enjoyed it. I sure did. Maybe. ^_^;;
Thanks to my *original* pre-readers: The Regulars(Jedi, Venus-chan, Ansy,
Kenner, Draggie, Chocky, Fuu-chan, and Aeka-chan ^_^ ), Valerie Peters,
Lisa Nguyen, Jo Mion, and Amande. For those who didn't ... oh, well. Your
loss. [shrugs]
Extra special thanks go to whatever deity invented caffiene (the wonder
drug!) -- God bless you!!! ^_^
Anyway...
Send all C&C to: [email protected] -- MST's really welcome(I'd love to
see how people fold, spindle, and mutilate my work). Flames, as always, go
to [email protected].
- Mark Nason.
March 24, 2000.