Shoujo Kakumei Pokémon
- Gotta Duel ‘Em All -

	Brock looked up from the map.  "I think we’re lost."
	"I told you that wasn’t a shortcut!" Misty screamed.
	"Hey, it’s not so bad," Ash mumbled.  "This is a pretty big town.
I bet they have a gym here.  I’m ready to earn another badge."
	Looking at the tall, ornate, white buildings, Brock nodded.  "Pretty
ritzy neighborhood.  Hey, look!  There’s a school!"
	"Yeah!  Let’s ask that kid for directions!"  Ash grabbed the arm of
a passing blond boy.  "Hey, can you tell me which way to the Pokémon Center?"
	Bewildered, the boy backed away.  "The what?  I’m sorry, I’ve never
heard of such a place.  I don’t have time to talk right now.  I have to get
to the grocery store and buy the ingredients for Nanami-sama’s lunch tomorrow!"
He scurried away.
	"Pika?"  Pikachu twitched his ears.
	"That was weird."  Ash frowned.
	Misty ran up to a tall, dark, handsome man wearing a red shirt and
a purple tie.  He leaned against a shiny, red convertible.  "Excuse me, sir!
Could you point us in the direction of the Pokémon Center?"
	Stroking one hand along the fender, he smiled with melting charm.
"Perhaps another time.  But I would be . . . happy . . . to take you to the
. . . infirmary."  He dropped to one knee and gently clasped Misty’s ankle.
"I can . . . bandage . . . this sprain, if you like."
	She jumped back.  "Uh, there’s nothing wrong with my foot!"
	He slowly raised his gaze to her face, then stared at her for a
moment though half-lidded eyes, the hint of a smile playing at the corner
of his mouth.  "I see.  Perhaps you would like to see the End of the World?"
	Brock and Ash each grabbed one of Misty’s shoulders, and Pikachu
grabbed her leg.  Brock stammered, "That’s a very kind offer, sir, but we’d
better be on our way."  They ran deeper onto the campus.
	Eventually they slowed to a walk again.  Misty glanced at Ash.  "I
have a bad feeling about this."
	"Me too.  This place is creepy.  And I haven’t seen any Pokémon at
all!"  A frantic "Pika!" from below caught his attention.  "What is it,
Pikachu!"
	Pikachu pointed behind them.  Brock stood frozen like a statue.
Ash, Misty, and Pikachu ran back to him.  "Brock!  What’s wrong."
	His fingers twitched and his mouth hung open in a dazed grin.  "I’m
in heaven!  Look at all the beautiful girls!"
	Several groups of willow-thin female students in short-skirted, puffy-
sleeved uniforms lingered in the area.  Brock started to float toward the
nearest cluster when a girl with flowing pink hair, wearing a black jacket
and tight red shorts, strode by.  All of the other girls gasped and squealed
and jumped and waved and cheered.  "Utena-sama!  Utena-sama!"  When Utena had
passed, the girls grabbed each other’s hands and all chattered at once, with
a few phrases rising above the babble.  "She’s so cool!"  "Isn’t she dreamy!"
"She looked at me!"
	An audible crack sounded as Brock’s smile shattered.  He stumbled
back several steps, clutching his spiky hair.  "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!  It’s my
worst nightmare!  All these beautiful girls, and they’re all lesbians!"  He
crumpled to the ground, sobbing.  Pikachu patted him on the back, consolingly.
	Misty leaned over to Ash.  "I’ve never heard that word before.  What’s
a lesbian?"
	"I don’t know.  Maybe it’s some kind of Pokémon?"  He whipped out his
Pokédex.
	"No entry found," the machine chirped.
	"Oh well."  Ash shrugged.  "Maybe it’s a new type that hasn’t been
recorded yet."
	A tiny gray creature with huge round ears and a long thin tail
scampered by, panting "Chu!  Chu!  Chu!" with each step.  His single hoop
earring and striped necktie bounced with his gait.
	"Chu?"  Pikachu called.
	The animal skidded to a halt.  "Chu?"
	Pikachu bounded toward it.  "Chu!"
	He jumped up, twisting his tail.  "Chuchuchuchu!  Chu!"
	"Pika?"
	A sweat drop appeared on his forehead.  "Chu?"
	"Pi?"
	"Chu!"  He bolted away, screaming in alarm.  "Chu!  Chuuuuuuuuuuuuu!"
	"Oh!"  Ash cried.  "It’s getting away!  But I want to capture it!"
He and Pikachu ran after the creature.
	Pouting, Misty looked for a stone to kick, but the courtyard was
spotless.
	"Are you having some kind of trouble?"  A serene, pink haired boy
leaned against a white marble wall.
	"Oh, he always gets so excited about catching Pokémon that he forgets
about me."
	The pink haired boy smiled placidly, gazing at Brock, who lay crumpled
and forgotten behind Misty.  Then he nodded.  "Perhaps you’d like to come to
my seminar?"

*   *   *   *   *

	Misty sat in the elevator, beside a framed, mounted Butterfree.  "Ash
is always so selfish and immature.  He thinks he’s going to be a Pokémon Master,
but he goofs off so much and doesn’t really want to work for it.  And I wish
he’s pay more attention to me."
	The frame now housed a Metapod.  "It’s not that I don’t like Ash.
He’s a good friend really.  I actually like him a lot.  Maybe I even . . .
no . . ."
	"Deeper," whispered a disembodied voice, Go deeper."
	"Sometimes I wonder if I might not even love him."  She glanced up
at the framed Caterpie.  "WAUGH!  I HATE BUGS!"  Pressing into the corner,
she screamed, "And I hate Ash, too!  That annoying jerk!  Who does he think
he is, running off after that weird Pokémon and leaving me all alone!"
	She crumpled to the floor beneath the framed leaf as the elevator
lurched to a stop, the pink haired boy stood over her.  "I understand.  I
suppose you have no choice but to revolutionize the world.  The way before
you has been prepared."
	Misty glanced up.  "Huh?"

*   *   *   *   *

	Brock looked up to see Ash plodding toward him, Pikachu riding on his
head.  A few paces behind Ash walked a beautiful Indian girl wearing glasses.
A small rodent-like monkey perched on her shoulder, nibbling what Brock
recognized to be the special Pokéchow he had blended for Pikachu, which should
have been stashed safely in Ash’s backpack.  But that didn’t matter when Brock
was looking at a pretty girl.  He jumped up and clasped her hand.  "Hello,
Miss.  My name is Brock."
	She smiled pleasantly.  "My name is Anthy Himemiya."
	Brock blinked with surprise, realizing he should have used his full
name to introduce himself.  Then he blinked again with more surprise, realizing
he had no idea what his surname was.  But that didn’t matter . . . pretty girl
. . . ooh.  He stopped drooling long enough to ask, "Could I take you out to
dinner sometime?  Like maybe tonight?"
	"If Ash-sama says I can."
	Brock glared at Ash as much as one can glare with closed eyes.  "Ash?!"
Pikachu quickly hopped to the ground and took shelter in the shrubbery.	The
boy shrugged.  "I don’t know what happened.  That little Pokémon climbed up
onto the shoulder of that pink haired girl.  When I threw my Pokéball at it,
I accidentally knocked a rose off her chest.  Now this other girl won’t stop
following me around."
	They were interrupted by a blood-curdling scream of "Pikaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!"
Crashing through the bushes, Ash and Brock found the still, barely breathing
form of Pikachu.
	Ash reached for his small, yellow friend, but Anthy caught his shoulder
and tugged him away.  "You mustn’t, Ash-sama!  His spirit has been drawn out.
Moving him would be very dangerous."
	"Who would do such a thing?" Ash wailed.
	"Come with me."  Anthy walked away, and Ash followed.  He paused to
glance back.  "Brock . . ."
	Brock nodded.  "I’ll stay here and guard Pikachu."
	Anthy led Ash to the foot of an immense spiral staircase, then she
vanished.  Ash climbed . . . and climbed . . . and climbed . . .

*   *   *   *   *

	A female shadow with a long comet-tail of hair fell against the wall.
"Prepare for trouble!"
	A male shadow joined her, back to back.  "Make it double!"
	"To protect the world from devastation . . ."
	"Stop that!"  A more-or-less feline shadow dropped from above and
shoved the other two apart.  "You’re not even in the right place!  The camera’s
pointed at that wall, not at you!"
	"Oh!" cried the female.
	"Drat!" whined the male.
	"Aw, forget you two!  I met this funny-looking blond gal who said she
wants to give me as a present to her older brother.  I saw their mansion.
They must be bazillionaires!  So I’m gonna let her put me in a box so I can
get into that house and steal all the loot!  See you losers later!"  He cartwheeled
off, stage right.
	"Kashira!  Kashira!"  a female shadow with a bow in her hair appeared
to the left.
	"You shouldn’t be here!"  another female shadow, this one with two
strangely disconnected braids, appeared to the right.  "You’re never supposed
to interrupt the staircase sequence!"
	The first two shadows grabbed onto one another.  "We’re sorry!"  They
slid off to the side.
	The shadow girl with the bow looked toward the audience.  "Why are you
still here?"

*   *   *   *   *

	Ash climbed . . . and climbed . . . and climbed . . .  "I can’t take
much more of this."  He stumbled into the arena, gasping for breath.  "Finally!"
	Anthy smiled at him.  She didn’t even look winded.  And she was wearing
the most horrific red dress Ash had ever seen.  "That looks like something
James from Team Rocket would wear . . ."  Then he glanced down and realized
that his jacket looked a little . . . frillier . . . than he was accustomed
to.  He pulled at the lacey trim along the lower hem.  "Ugh!"
	He looked past Anthy to see a hundred desks, each with a Cascade Badge
laying on it.  In the middle of all the desks, a black uniformed redhead with
one scraggly, jutting ponytail stood with her back to him.  She turned slowly.
"I swear by this black Pokéball, that I shall defeat you and bring death to
the Rose Bride."
	Ash glanced at Anthy.  "What does she have against you?"
	Anthy didn’t respond, she simply recited something about roses and
noble castles and the Power of Dios, all of which went totally over Ash’s
head.  Then Ash noticed that there was a Pokéball sticking out of her chest.
Grimacing, he grasped the Pokéball of Dios and raised it above his head.  "To
be a Master!"

*   *   *   *   *

	Watching from a distance, Juri lowered her opera glasses and glanced
at Miki.  "That’s just not right."
	Miki clicked his stopwatch, then gulped.  "No, it most certainly is
not."

*   *   *   *   *

	Misty hurled the black Pokéball at Ash.  He threw the Pokéball of
Dios.  Out popped . . . a herd of elephants?  Ash frowned and scratched his
head.  "That doesn’t make any sense.  You can’t keep more than one Pokémon
inside a Pokéball at a time.  And what kind of Pokémon are those anyway?
They look kind of like Donphan, but weird."
	Nevertheless, the hundred desks slid aside into four groups as the
elephants trampled Misty, crushing the black Pokéball.  She screamed in pain
and collapsed neatly onto one of the blood-red outlines of the hundred dead
. . . er, sleeping . . . Duelists.
	"Misty!"  Ash crouched by her side, then looked at Anthy.  "Is she
alright?"
	"She will be fine now, Ash-sama."
	"What about Pikachu?"
	"He should be waking up by now."
	Ash jumped up and smiled widely.  "Really?  You’re sure Pikachu’s
okay now?  Yay!  I want to go see him!"  He ran toward the stairs, nearly
colliding with Utena.
	She pushed him back.  "Wait, before you go, I challenge you to a
duel!"
	"Not now!"
	"Yes now!" she demanded, punching her fist into her palm.
	"Oh, alright."
	Anthy placed a pink rose on Utena’s chest and a Pikachu-yellow rose
on Ash’s, then stepped back.  Anthy recited another incantation, and Utena
raised her fencing foil.

*   *   *   *   *

	Miki grabbed the opera glasses from Juri.  "Hey!  I didn’t give Tenjou-
sempai permission to use my foil!"
	"Yes, well," Juri cleared her throat, "She already broke my sword.
So I told her she could use yours."
	Miki glared at Juri.
	"Is there a problem?" she asked flatly.
	"No."  He clicked his stopwatch, then clicked it again for good measure.

*   *   *   *   *

	Ash looked at the Sword of Dios in his hand.  "What am I supposed to do
with this?"
	Before Anthy could answer, Utena walked up, bellowed an incoherent
battle shout for no apparent reason, and flicked the rose off Ash’s chest
with her finger.
	"Is that it?" Ash asked as the sword vanished.
	"Yeah, you can go now."  Utena looked at Anthy.  "Ready to go home?"
"Hai, Utena-sama!"

*   *   *   *   *

	Ash ran across the courtyard.  "Pikachu!"
	"Pika!"  The electric mouse bounded up and leapt into the boy’s arms.
Ash stumbled back, rubbing cheeks with his furry friend.
	"Oh, Pikachu!  I’m so glad you’re okay!"  He looked around.  "Hey,
where’s Brock?"
	"Pi?"
	"He was supposed to be guarding you."
	At that moment, the shiny, red convertible screeched to a halt, and
Brock stumbled out.  His shirt hung open, and he somehow looked . . .sluttier
. . .
	"I . . . have seen . . . the End . . . of the World . . ."
	The tall, dark, handsome man, now with ungodly amounts of hair
flowing past his shoulders and a white jacket, hanging open of course,
waved a farewell to Brock, then drove away.
	"What was that all about?" Ash asked.
	But all Brock would say was, "Cactuses . . . cactuses . . . cactuses
. . ."
	Misty trudged up to them.  "I have a Psyduck-sized headache."
	"Chu!"  Pikachu hid behind Ash’s legs, cowering at Misty’s approach.
	"Hey, Misty."  Ash folded his arms.  "Why did you attack me?"  He
looked down at the shivering mouse.  "And are you the one who stole Pikachu’s
spirit?"
	"Huh?  I don’t know what you’re talking about."
	"What?  You mean you don’t remember?"
	"Remember what?"  She shook her head.  "Oh, let’s get out of here.
This school is beginning to give me the creeps."
	"I agree."
	"Pika!"  Pikachu took his place on Ash’s head.
	"Come on, Brock.  We’re leaving."
	"Cac . . . tus . . ."

*   end   *