The Daily Telegraph, Sydney, 29 September 2000
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HERE
Damn this rain. Or is it sunny again? Who knows? But please, visitors, don't let this bout of unseasonable inclement weather (ha!) dampen the spirit of Sydney 2000. So, is everyone still having a good time despite getting a bit wet? Have you had as much fun as we locals? Ready for one last seriously big weekend? What must you people be thinking of us, of our city, our country? Shark attacks on surfers over near Adelaide, snakes in our city parks, millions of moths in our stadium. We were hoping we'd get away with making you think this sort of tropical stuff was the mythology of Australia rather than its reality. But if the facade is over, we may as well release the 'roos off their leashes -- let them roam the streets again. If our brand of nature freaks you out, just be thankful you won't be around for the giant flying cockroach season. (No, no only kidding ... of course there's no such thing as giant flying cockroaches.) And what do you make of our humour? National debates over contraband mascots, train drivers talking to you like you've just met up at a backyard barbecue, more ''G'days'' than you can poke a poker at. Sick of the ''Oi-oi-oi!'' chant yet? I hope we haven't appeared too eager to please but, as you've probably gathered, this whole Games Of The XXVII Olympiad thing has been pretty important to us. And unless we're just kidding ourselves -- unless we've collectively been done over by the mother of all PR snow jobs -- this appears to be a pivotal event in the history of our young nation. For us, these Games have been about more than just the sport or putting on a good show. We're trying to unify ourselves as a people here. Thank you, visitors, for playing your part, for bearing witness to all this and in turn (hopefully) accelerating the process. But of more immediate concern, what are we going to do with all this secondhand Olympic hardware come Monday? Is there anyone in the market for a slightly-used, 10,000-seater beach volleyball stadium? Do you think we could flog the Greeks some medal podiums? There are plenty of low-mileage courtesy cars available, some left-over fresh waratahs, a slightly-used 42km blue line -- all going real cheap. We're getting slightly ahead of ourselves. We've still got three days to go. Fingers crossed everything continues to run as smoothly as it has (sorry, there we go being all anal again). But in case we don't get a chance to chat before you check out, thank you once again, people of the world, for travelling all this way to share this experience, for breathing life back into a universal human spirit. Like us, we're sure the past few weeks will have provided you with at least a handful of unforgettable fondest memories. But don't let us rush you into leaving just yet. Sure, the Closing Ceremony takes place on Sunday night and the Olympic flame will be extinguished for another four years. But that's no real reason to let the party end. Think about all those poor athletes. It's only come Sunday that their work will finally be done. Surely they'll be dying for a drink by then. And if those boys and girls party as hard as they compete, we might still all be dancing in the streets into next year. Too hard? Well, that attitude never won anyone gold. Cheers, everyone. Happy Olympics!
