The brand new George W. Bush Special Edition iPod.
It's Scarifying!
It's finally here! Due to popular demand(coughliescough), a new Apple iPod is in place. I guess they "misunderestimated" us when we fooled the world that we wouldn't do a Bush iPod. Jokes on them now! You can now purchase the new and complete album “The Complete Bushism.” Who can resist? Ever get sick and tired of music that you like? Lord knows Bush does! So why not just sit back and relax and let Bush ease your mind with his hilarious one liners! Classics such as "Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we." or "We had a chance to visit with Teresa Nelson who's a parent, and a mom or a dad." Do you love America? Are you patriotic? Then buy this special edition iPod. Because if you don't, you're aiding the terrorists. You can always buy more quotes from the iTunes Bushism store for a meager $99/download. If you can't afford that, you're not American. iTunes Bushism Store.
Huh? What he say?
Like other members of the iPod family, iPod Bush Special Edition makes listening to Bush a sheer delight. The fabulous Apple Click Wheel lets you scroll through all your quotes, mispellings and bad grammar effortlessly. You can certainly keep plenty of quotes on this massive 20GB iPod. Even if you stored all the bad grammar possible, guess what? Bush will still keep popping out one liners such as "Spelling Be" or "We are making steadfast progress." Faster than you can keep up. Unlike musicians, who takes time to create music and often run out of ideas, Bush does all this naturally! Want a mispelling? Bush iPod is there! Want a weapon of mass destruction? Bush iPod will create one for you! (1)
The Bush iPod is easy to carry, because it weighs just a shade more than a deck of cards. It's always light no matter how much false information you add onto it. With new Bush software, you can now find weapons of mass destruction anywhere! That's right, imagine if you didn't study for an exam, but you don't want to take it. No problem. Just pull out your iPod, click the middle wheel 3 times fast and the iPod will automatically project a false image of a nuclear bomb, forcing the school to close down for 2 weeks and giving you ample time to study. (2) And thanks to 25 minutes of skip protection, you can lead a really active lifestyle — learning to spell, reading past the 1st grade level, have recess- or tic-tac-toe — all without Dick Cheney having a heart attack. Isn't that great? This new feature(only comes with the Bush iPod) also has a built in defibrillator! Not only does the Bush iPod save time because of ease of use, it saves lives too!
Additionally, you'll enjoy the most up to date auto-sync in the industry. With Bush holding a press conference everyday, this is sure to come in handy. You can import CDs or quotes from the iTunes Bushism Store, iTunes will quickly move them to iPod. Although Bush may fear pretzels, the Bush iPod does not. With a built-in pretzel detector, all pretzels within 50 feet will be turned into artificial stem cells for research.
- WMDs can include but not limited to the following: nail clippers, hair spray, and crayons.
- Battery life will drain quickly after this use. After the battery is drained, it is automatically a WMD. See www.apple.com/batteries for more information.
