I had a dream about you last night. It was so good to be able to wake up this morning and not have that emptiness in my heart from missing you, but thankfulness we are no longer together and having to walk on eggshells for fear of you going off. For saying or doing the wrong thing for fear of the next blow or hateful words you have to say. I thanked God for finally opening my eyes to you and putting people in my life when He did to help me get out of the situation. You are no longer going to be the person I compare others to in the future to love. I will always have a small special part in my heart for you, only because of the few good times we had and for the gift of our boys. But I'm no longer in love with you, I have nothing but pitty for you.

The only thing that saddens me is that our boys still miss their daddy and don't quite understand yet. Harley and Davidson cries themselves to sleep sometimes because of you. Hopefully someday they both can move on like I have and they will understand why it has to be this way. They have already witnessed too much in their little lives, and I'm trying to undo the damage that has already been done. Trying to teach them a boy doesn't hit, yell at, cheat, or abuse a girl he claims to love. A boy shows respect, honor and love to his special girl. I'm also trying to teach them you don't have to drink and do drugs to be happy, it only messes up your life and those around you, plus it makes you a very mean person and some will think of you as a low life or a loser if you are constantly drunk or high.