Ok, I went to the neurologist today and got the results back about the MRI.  The vessels to my brain are smaller than they should.  Part of it is because of my history of heart attacks, high blood pressure and diabetes.  My blood pressure today was 146/101, which he wasn't happy about at all.  My pulse was even racing over 130 beats per minute.  It's the 2nd time within 1 1/2 months he's seen me and my blood pressure being high.  He said with the smaller blood vessels and the high blood pressure and my diabetes I'm heading for a major stroke.  The migraines I've been having lately, my chest hurting and being so tired is all signs of me heading for one.  Even with the blurred vision and ringing in my ears and the pressure I've been feeling in my head without having a cold or migraine. 

He doubled the dose of my blood pressure medication.  I just have to call him back tomorrow and have him call in the correct one.  He gave me the right one, but forgot to add the water pill part that goes into it, which I need desperately.  In the meantime I will just take two of my blood pressure medication instead of one. 

He said as long as I continue eating right, get my diabetes under control along with my pulse and blood pressure I will be able to live and see the boys grow up and have kids of their own.  Of course he got on me about my smoking, but happy to hear I'm down from 5 packs, then 3 and now 1 a day.  He said just keep working on it. 

I'm not to take any more over the counter pain killers like tylenol, motrin or any of those.  Not only can they damage my kidneys, pancreas and  liver, but they can also push the process of the major heart attack or stroke or even kill me.  My last migraine medication was making my tongue burn and my heart race too fast, so he put me on Medrin (?sp) just over a month ago.  So far it's working, so he's not going to try anything else on me right now.  If I have any changes in my vision, hearing, my migraines pick up more frequently, my chest hurts, I lose feeling in any part of my body, I'm to call him right away or get to the nearest ER ASAP.  He calls them warning signs of a stroke beginning. 

He was happy that I went to a dietician to be more informed about my diet and knowing I'm heading in the right track, just keep it up.  I'm to eliminate stress as much as possible, because as he put it, it's killing me.  He said I know easier said than done, but to try my best.  If I get tired, then rest and don't push it.  No long walks without a buddy to go along with me.  He was also happy that I'm seeing my psychiatrist every 1 1/2 months and every 2 weeks my counselor.  He would like me to go in more often, but understands with lots of appointments and two small kids to take care of it's hard.  I'm to just make sure I keep all my appointments and get frequent blood work done on my liver, pancreas, kidneys and heart. 

Well, I need to go and put the boys to bed and do a few more things in cleaning.  The boys helped me quite a bit earlier, so there's not much to do that's left.  In the morning before the in-home counselor comes for the boys all I have to do is fix breakfast, wash the dishes, shower and get us all dressed.  No running around like our heads are chopped off in cleaning and getting everything done.