One day, long long ago in a far off land, Prince Stepping and his wife, the Queen, gave birth to a little girl. They had always wanted a little baby to call their own, so this made them very happy. To show how happy they were, they invited the entire village to join in a large celebration at the castle where everyone was to bring a gift to the newly born princess which they named, Princess Arid. There was much alcohol served also, to keep everyone occupied, along with hits of marijuana, opium, and cocain (the kings favorite)
The part was going very well. Then the three good fairies entered the babies chamber to give the child their gifts. The first good fairy, (and the largest) Tina, walked up to the babies bed. "Oh great Arid, i give to you the gift of prettiness so that you can be laid by many youn princes and make your mother a grandmother" With a wave of the fairys fluffer frink-notter, the spell was granted.
Then the second good fairy, Nancy, walked up to the childs side. "Oh great princess, to thee I give the gift of voice lessons, with this you will have as voice that will make the gibblehoppers filled with envy." She waved her giant stick and the child was blessed with voice.
Now it was time for the last and finale gift from the good fairys. Squanto, the smallest and less educated fairy came to the side of the young child. "Oh princess.. i give you good gift. I give gift that last many moons. I give gift of..." Then there was a loud crash as the evil fairy of the darklord, Janet Reno, came into the room. On her shoulder rested her dark demon of the night, Crowy-Evil! The bird with the eyes of a crow, and the wings of a bird!
The evil bitch of darkness looked at the king and his wife. "I see that i was not invited to this event" Said Janet. "It strikes a daggar through my black heart that you did not want me here... But I shall forgive you. i to have a gift for the princess." She walked over to the childs bedside, and raised up her dumpkin. "Oh little princess fair, whos wife looks like a giant mare! A biddly-biddly-boopity beep, when you turn sixteen, you will fall asleep! never to awake but you will die, just like a greasy french fry!" A bolt of lightnight shot down and the curse was granted. The room grew quiet, and then Janet and Crowy-Evil vanished into thin air.
Everyone began to cry so the last good fairy, Squanto, walked up to the princess with her wally wumpernutter and said, "Oh princess you wont die i will save you. You wotn die when you fal asleep, you will just lay there helplessly on the floor. At first your breath will stop you will feel your heart pounding in your chest and your lungs with burn with agony. Then your blood will gros still as you feel your veins bust inside your skin. Then your eyes will bulge from pressure untill they pop.. BANG.. right out of your eye sockets.
then you will lie there in a heap of internal organs on the floor. But this can be prevented if a prince kisses you. So dont worry about it."
Sixteen years went by and the princess was in the top tower, in her bedroom staring at pictures of nude men on her wall. Just then, she heard a large WACK hit the side of her window, and ran to the window, to see that a bird had flew into her window, so she ran downstairs to see if she could help it. When she got there she saw that it was Crowy-Evil! She had been warned about this bird many times. But because of the gitchy gitchy ay ay da da that had been put into her by the good fairys, she had to see if she could help it. She bent down to pick up the bird, when its beak poked her finger. She collapsed on the ground in a large heap.
Just then, Prince Phill walked into the gates of the castle and saw that the princess was dead. he ran up to her and began humping her leg. Being the young man that he was, he had fantasys of many different things that he just could not fulfill. But this day was different, the princess was there on the ground unconscious, now was hin chance. He began stripping her down naked and kissing her all over when.. BAMMO there it came. The prince jumped back, his eyes wide and his heart racing....... The curse was broken! He had kissed the princess. So she woke up and realized what the prince was doing, so she had him arrested and beheaded that same day.
The End.
