In the Future…

In the future, all restaurants will serve pizza. And that's all. Maybe they'll have sodas too, but I doubt it. Probably just the pizza. And old people will rule the world. And they'll refuse to die. Like that robot from Terminator 2. And a resistance group will spring up against the old people. It will be called "Le Resistance", because resistance sounds cooler in French. But it will be poorly organized and plagued by infighting over whether or not the members have to wear berets just because their name sounds French. And so a splinter group will form. Its name will be "Il Splinter." The people in it will pretend that "Il Splinter" is the Italian word for splinter. And they'll all get along famously, drinking wine and eating shrimps with their heads still attached. But they won't accomplish much, and when they do show up anywhere they'll be about half an hour late. They'll excuse themselves absently by mentioning that they work to live, as opposed to Americans, who live to work. Everyone will think that is incredibly pithy, and so their membership will swell. Not like they're getting fat or anything, just more people will join. And everyone who joins will get drunk on cheap, red, table wine, and talk loudly into the night while someone nearby strums lightly on a guitar. And the old people will come down from their compounds in the caves to listen to the soft strumming of the guitar. And someone will start singing that one Italian song. And suddenly "Le Resistance" will spring out of the bushes where it had been hiding and they'll hog tie all the old people and take them to some factory with a big magma pool. And then they'll throw all of the old people into the magma, but after they do they'll realize what a horrible thing they've done, and they'll all jump into the magma too. And the next morning "Il Splinter" will wake up with a horrible hangover and only vaguely remember trying to make out with their girlfriends' roommate. But when they notice that all of the old people are gone, along with "Le Resistance" they'll spend the rest of the day drinking cheap, red, table wine again. Only this time when they meet their girlfriends' roommate they'll realize that she has a really annoying laugh, and they'll excuse themselves by making up something they have to do. They'll be all like, "Oh, I was going to build a memorial to the revolution over the old people." And the next day they'll build a restaurant. And the only thing it will serve is pizza. And they'll be all proud of themself and so they'll go out that night and get drunk again on cheap, red, table wine. And when their girlfriends' roommate shows up this time they won't even wait for the annoying laugh. And once again they'll be off building their restaurant that only serves pizza. And maybe sodas. But I doubt it. Anyway, they'll soon find themselves in a downward spiral of drinking and building pizza restaurants until eventually there won't be any restaurants left that don't serve pizza. And that is why, in the future, all restaurants will serve pizza. And that's all. Maybe they'll have sodas too, but I doubt it. Probably just the pizza. And old people will rule the world. And they'll refuse to die. Like that robot from Terminator 2. And a resistance group will spring up against the old people. It will be called "Le Resistance", because resistance sounds cooler in French. But it will be poorly organized and plagued by infighting over whether or not the members have to wear berets just because their name sounds French. And so a splinter group will form. Its name will be "Il Splinter." The people in it will pretend that "Il Splinter" is the Italian word for splinter. And they'll all get along famously, drinking wine and eating shrimps with their heads still attached. But they won't accomplish much, and when they do show up anywhere they'll be about half an hour late. They'll excuse themselves absently by mentioning that they work to live, as opposed to Americans, who live to work. Everyone will think that is incredibly pithy, and so their membership will swell. Not like they're getting fat or anything, just more people will join. And everyone who joins will get drunk on cheap, red, table wine, and talk loudly into the night while someone nearby strums lightly on a guitar. And the old people will come down from their compounds in the caves to listen to the soft strumming of the guitar. And someone will start singing that one Italian song. And suddenly "Le Resistance" will spring out of the bushes where it had been hiding and they'll hog tie all the old people and take them to some factory with a big magma pool. And then they'll throw all of the old people into the magma, but after they do they'll realize what a horrible thing they've done, and they'll all jump into the magma too. And the next morning "Il Splinter" will wake up with a horrible hangover and only vaguely remember trying to make out with their girlfriends' roommate. But when they notice that all of the old people are gone, along with "Le Resistance" they'll spend the rest of the day drinking cheap, red, table wine again. Only this time when they meet their girlfriends' roommate they'll realize that she has a really annoying laugh, and they'll excuse themselves by making up something they have to do. They'll be all like, "Oh, I was going to build a memorial to the revolution over the old people." And the next day they'll build a restaurant. And the only thing it will serve is pizza. And they'll be all proud of themself and so they'll go out that night and get drunk again on cheap, red, table wine. And when their girlfriends' roommate shows up this time they won't even wait for the annoying laugh. And once again they'll be off building their restaurant that only serves pizza. And maybe sodas. But I doubt it. Anyway, they'll soon find themselves in a downward spiral of drinking and building pizza restaurants until eventually there won't be any restaurants left that don't serve pizza. And that is why, in the future, all restaurants will serve pizza. And that's all. Maybe they'll have sodas too, but I doubt it. Probably just the pizza. And old people will rule the world. And they'll refuse to die. Like that robot from Terminator 2. And a resistance group will spring up against the old people. It will be called "Le Resistance", because resistance sounds cooler in French. But it will be poorly organized and plagued by infighting over whether or not the members have to wear berets just because their name sounds French. And so a splinter group will form. Its name will be "Il Splinter." The people in it will pretend that "Il Splinter" is the Italian word for splinter. And they'll all get along famously, drinking wine and eating shrimps with their heads still attached. But they won't accomplish much, and when they do show up anywhere they'll be about half an hour late. They'll excuse themselves absently by mentioning that they work to live, as opposed to Americans, who live to work. Everyone will think that is incredibly pithy, and so their membership will swell. Not like they're getting fat or anything, just more people will join. And everyone who joins will get drunk on cheap, red, table wine, and talk loudly into the night while someone nearby strums lightly on a guitar. And the old people will come down from their compounds in the caves to listen to the soft strumming of the guitar. And someone will start singing that one Italian song. And suddenly "Le Resistance" will spring out of the bushes where it had been hiding and they'll hog tie all the old people and take them to some factory with a big magma pool. And then they'll throw all of the old people into the magma, but after they do they'll realize what a horrible thing they've done, and they'll all jump into the magma too. And the next morning "Il Splinter" will wake up with a horrible hangover and only vaguely remember trying to make out with their girlfriends' roommate. But when they notice that all of the old people are gone, along with "Le Resistance" they'll spend the rest of the day drinking cheap, red, table wine again. Only this time when they meet their girlfriends' roommate they'll realize that she has a really annoying laugh, and they'll excuse themselves by making up something they have to do. They'll be all like, "Oh, I was going to build a memorial to the revolution over the old people." And the next day they'll build a restaurant. And the only thing it will serve is pizza. And they'll be all proud of themself and so they'll go out that night and get drunk again on cheap, red, table wine. And when their girlfriends' roommate shows up this time they won't even wait for the annoying laugh. And once again they'll be off building their restaurant that only serves pizza. And maybe sodas. But I doubt it. Anyway, they'll soon find themselves in a downward spiral of drinking and building pizza restaurants until eventually there won't be any restaurants left that don't serve pizza. And that is why, in the future, all restaurants will serve pizza. And that's all. Maybe they'll have sodas too, but I doubt it. Probably just the pizza. And old people will rule the world. And they'll refuse to die. Like that robot from Terminator 2. And a resistance group will spring up against the old people. It will be called "Le Resistance", because resistance sounds cooler in French. But it will be poorly organized and plagued by infighting over whether or not the members have to wear berets just because their name sounds French. And so a splinter group will form. Its name will be "Il Splinter." The people in it will pretend that "Il Splinter" is the Italian word for splinter. And they'll all get along famously, drinking wine and eating shrimps with their heads still attached. But they won't accomplish much, and when they do show up anywhere they'll be about half an hour late. They'll excuse themselves absently by mentioning that they work to live, as opposed to Americans, who live to work. Everyone will think that is incredibly pithy, and so their membership will swell. Not like they're getting fat or anything, just more people will join. And everyone who joins will get drunk on cheap, red, table wine, and talk loudly into the night while someone nearby strums lightly on a guitar. And the old people will come down from their compounds in the caves to listen to the soft strumming of the guitar. And someone will start singing that one Italian song. And suddenly "Le Resistance" will spring out of the bushes where it had been hiding and they'll hog tie all the old people and take them to some factory with a big magma pool. And then they'll throw all of the old people into the magma, but after they do they'll realize what a horrible thing they've done, and they'll all jump into the magma too. And the next morning "Il Splinter" will wake up with a horrible hangover and only vaguely remember trying to make out with their girlfriends' roommate. But when they notice that all of the old people are gone, along with "Le Resistance" they'll spend the rest of the day drinking cheap, red, table wine again. Only this time when they meet their girlfriends' roommate they'll realize that she has a really annoying laugh, and they'll excuse themselves by making up something they have to do. They'll be all like, "Oh, I was going to build a memorial to the revolution over the old people." And the next day they'll build a restaurant. And the only thing it will serve is pizza. And they'll be all proud of themself and so they'll go out that night and get drunk again on cheap, red, table wine. And when their girlfriends' roommate shows up this time they won't even wait for the annoying laugh. And once again they'll be off building their restaurant that only serves pizza. And maybe sodas. But I doubt it. Anyway, they'll soon find themselves in a downward spiral of drinking and building pizza restaurants until eventually there won't be any restaurants left that don't serve pizza. And that is why, in the future, all restaurants will serve pizza. And that's all. Maybe they'll have sodas too, but I doubt it. Probably just the pizza. And old people will rule the world. And they'll refuse to die. Like that robot from Terminator 2. And a resistance group will spring up against the old people. It will be called "Le Resistance", because resistance sounds cooler in French. But it will be poorly organized and plagued by infighting over whether or not the members have to wear berets just because their name sounds French. And so a splinter group will form. Its name will be "Il Splinter." The people in it will pretend that "Il Splinter" is the Italian word for splinter. And they'll all get along famously, drinking wine and eating shrimps with their heads still attached. But they won't accomplish much, and when they do show up anywhere they'll be about half an hour late. They'll excuse themselves absently by mentioning that they work to live, as opposed to Americans, who live to work. Everyone will think that is incredibly pithy, and so their membership will swell. Not like they're getting fat or anything, just more people will join. And everyone who joins will get drunk on cheap, red, table wine, and talk loudly into the night while someone nearby strums lightly on a guitar. And the old people will come down from their compounds in the caves to listen to the soft strumming of the guitar. And someone will start singing that one Italian song. And suddenly "Le Resistance" will spring out of the bushes where it had been hiding and they'll hog tie all the old people and take them to some factory with a big magma pool. And then they'll throw all of the old people into the magma, but after they do they'll realize what a horrible thing they've done, and they'll all jump into the magma too. And the next morning "Il Splinter" will wake up with a horrible hangover and only vaguely remember trying to make out with their girlfriends' roommate. But when they notice that all of the old people are gone, along with "Le Resistance" they'll spend the rest of the day drinking cheap, red, table wine again. Only this time when they meet their girlfriends' roommate they'll realize that she has a really annoying laugh, and they'll excuse themselves by making up something they have to do. They'll be all like, "Oh, I was going to build a memorial to the revolution over the old people." And the next day they'll build a restaurant. And the only thing it will serve is pizza. And they'll be all proud of themself and so they'll go out that night and get drunk again on cheap, red, table wine. And when their girlfriends' roommate shows up this time they won't even wait for the annoying laugh. And once again they'll be off building their restaurant that only serves pizza. And maybe sodas. But I doubt it. Anyway, they'll soon find themselves in a downward spiral of drinking and building pizza restaurants until eventually there won't be any restaurants left that don't serve pizza. And that is why, in the future, all restaurants will serve pizza.