Disclaimer: I mean no offense to people who like salads...if you're still prepared to be angry, fix yourself a salad and think of something important to fight for....Oh, and this isn't really a ballad....you think of a clever way to title a story about salad.
This happened right when we had first moved down to Iowa...Ah, back when I hadn't realized how sucky and ghetto my apartment is....stand in front of the windows-- you can feel the wind. Well, I had requested that we have company so that I could entertain in my own domain for the first time. Eric called up this guy who he used to live on the same Dorm floor of. We'll call him Bennington, since I haven't asked him if I can call him by name on my site. (He wouldn't care, but I'd rather hear a story about a Bennington instead of a Cory....oops.). Bennington agreed to come and he'd bring his girlfriend....let's call her Cher. So Cher and Bennington came over, and I cooked them spaghetti, which you should know from reading my other writings that my Spaghetti is like touching the Face of God. They throughly enjoyed it and all was well.
Then Bennington and Cher decided they should return the gesture, and invited us to dinner at Cher's house. We accepted, and when the time came we headed on over. It does matter, but my shoes (chucks of course) got majorly soaked when we left our apartment.....our ghetto apartment has slightly v-shaped sidewalks (?!?!) and it was raining. We got there, and shot the bull for awhile. Cher showed us her pet bat (I'm not making this up...it lives in a little bag and makes noises you would not believe), and then after awhile we sat down to eat.
Salad, in my opinion, is not something you are born liking....you have to have it regularily and then you grow to like it. I was not having any sort of salad regularily. So I hate salad. Of course I did not expect Benninton and Cher to know this. Cher sent a large leafy salad before me. I considered my options. I could have dumped the salad into Eric's salad when they were pouring the beverages, but I decided that they may think it odd that I can eat a giant salad in under a minute. I could tell them that I hate Salad, this might have even been acceptable if I had told Cher as she was making them BUT THEY WERE ALREADY MADE WHEN I GOT THERE. Cher is crafty. Like wolf.
I decided I would just pretend like hell I love salad and eat the damn thing. It almost killed me. The minute the lettuce hit my mouth I got THAT FEELING. You know...the feeling you get before you worship the most notorious of bathroom implements. So I guzzled down the milk next to me. I was certain I couldn't do this.
Hey, I was wrong....shows what I know.
Salads suck, and I need to grow up.
In case you were wondering....I ate the whole thing, and never mentioned anything to Bennington or Cher about my loathing of leafy greens.
