---Part Ten---

"Oh, really? Huh. Mm-hmm. Yes, that's very interesting. All right, Don, keep me posted. Thanks."

In the darkness of her office, Kelly Nivers leaned over and pressed a button on her telephone system to end the phone call. It was early yet, but Kelly didn't mind being almost alone in the building at this time of morning. New York was coming to life outside; distantly, she could hear car horns sounding from the streets several stories below. She liked this particular time of day. While it was still dark and quiet, she could focus her thoughts, prepare herself for the hours of work ahead.

Currently, she was preoccupied with the problem of Abbey Eldridge. Abbey wasn't behaving at all according to plan; instead of producing the expected below-quality work, she'd instead excelled, and her pictures were being bought by every magazine for articles on the group. That's what I get for not following my instincts. You'd think someone who got their job through nepotism would, by default, be a no-talented hack. Thankfully, Abbey did seem to be living up to her secondary purpose, if Don's report was at all accurate (and it had better be, with the amount Kelly was paying him).

Kelly allowed herself a smirk. Abbey had been so horrified at the idea that pictures had been taken of her, three sheets to the wind, all over Justin. It almost made Kelly wish that such pictures really did exist.

Let's see, she thought. Justin Timberlake is spending all of his free time with 'N Sync photographer Abbey Eldridge, says a source close to Timberlake.

Smiling at that thought, she turned to her computer and, opening an email, began to expand on her initial thought.

---

All that morning, Abbey sat in the bus, feeling her stomach churn. Why hadn't she thought of Kelly's warning last night, when she'd been all too eager to throw herself into Justin's arms? How could she have let herself lose control so quickly? She'd never have done anything like this a year ago, six months ago, even two months ago. It was Justin, of course; she knew that his influence was corroding her ways -- the habits and rituals that had sustained her daily life up until now.

He keeps this up, I won't even be able to remember my name. I have to get past this! I can't work if I can't even function.

"Here you go." Michaela pressed a small bottle of Pepto-Bismol into Abbey's hand as she sat down. Abbey gave her roommate a grateful look before uncapping the pink bottle and taking a hearty swig.

"Thanks, Mickey. I appreciate it."

"No problem," Michaela said, reclaiming the bottle once Abbey was done with it. She secured the cap and slid it into the rear pocket of the seat in front of her. "So, uh, do you want to talk about it?"

Abbey sighed. She wasn't really in the mood, but she did remember how comforting talking to Justin had been, last night. That brought back the slew of memories all over again; with an effort, she fought them back. "Don't know," she said, honestly.

"Mm." Michaela nodded. "Well, if you want to talk, I'll be right here."

Giving the stylist a taut smile, Abbey leaned down, reaching into her bag for her CD player. "I know," she said.

---

"Listen, no. Johnny--"

The other members of 'N Sync winced as they heard Justin's voice rise in tone yet again. He'd been ensconced in the back half of the bus for almost an hour now, and half of that time had been spent yelling on his cellphone. At least they hoped it was his cellphone, as Chris had pointed out.

"He's not gonna have a voice tonight," J.C. commented, turning in the kitchen table seat, trying yet again -- and failing -- to get comfortable.

"That's okay. I can sing his leads." Joey looked up from the email he was typing to grin across the table at J.C., who threw a pillow by way of response. Joey deftly fielded the missile, tossed it back.

Chris, leaning back on the couch with Busta sprawled on his chest, glanced back towards the closed door. "What's got him all upset?"

"Something with Abbey, I don't know," Lance replied. He'd given up reading his book a while ago and was now staring out the window, watching the flat farmlands speed by on the right-hand side of the bus. America was starting to blend together into one blur of green, flat grassland for him, with all the traveling they'd done over its highways.

Justin's voice sank into quiet speech again, and one by one, the guys resumed their previous activities, each keeping one ear perked for the sound of any trouble from the back of the bus.

---

"Johnny, I don't see why it's such a big deal."

A sigh filtered through the connection, distorted by distance and electronics. "Justin, we talked about this," Johnny said, his voice edging the line of patience. "Remember? The image?"

"Screw that," Justin said hotly. "It made sense at the time, but that was three years ago and a lot has changed since then. I don't know why they're making such a big deal out of this."

"Because the others have kept their relationships private. Now, I've been searching all morning and haven't seen any pictures yet, but that doesn't mean they're not out there. Word is going to get out, Justin. Are you prepared to accept the consequences? Is she?"

"It's going to have to happen sometime." Justin sat down heavily, one hand supporting his head. He knew Abbey wouldn't want her private life exposed to the world, but this was all he could think of to defuse the immediate problem. Maybe, if things were out in the open, Abbey wouldn't get into trouble with her boss for it. "They're going to have to realize sometime that we're not monks. That we're real people with the right to our own lives. I thought we got out of this when we left Transcon."

"I think it's more that it just hasn't come up, what with everything else that happened," Johnny pointed out. He went silent for a moment, then sighed. "Look, I'll talk to Barry at Jive. It's mostly a matter of publicity, but we can control the way it gets out if we stay on top of it now. But is this really that serious? I mean, I don't want this turning out to be a false alarm."

"It's not -- I mean--" Justin took a deep breath, trying to calm down. "It could be serious, I think. If we have the chance. I just want to make sure there is a chance, before something happens to nip it in the bud."

"I understand," Johnny said, not unsympathetically. "All right. Like I said, I'll see what I can do. But there's nothing I can do about what Abbey's boss is telling her. That's not our business. She works for Jive, not us, and it's their call if they decide to reassign her. I don't know why they'd want to, but there's nothing I can do there."

Justin sighed. "A'ight. Thanks, man."

"Don't get me wrong, Justin. I like Abbey, she's good people. I don't want her to be hurt by this anymore than you do."

"I know, Johnny." His voice was full of regret now. "I didn't mean to yell at you. It's just, I'm so frustrated over this. And it's not just this one thing, but everything, you know? How many times have we had to go all incognito just to go out on a date? How many times have our families had to change their phone numbers and re-plant their front yards? It just isn't fair, man."

"I know." Johnny had never been fond of the policy Lou Pearlman foisted on his pet projects: that the boys were supposed to live in a vacuum, with no social lives, all so the fans could fantasize at the possibility (no matter how remote) that they might have a chance with their favorite. While theoretically sound, it also played harshly, unfairly with the personalities of five very real young men. "But think about this, too: how fair is it for the girls you go out with? Lance and J.C. and Joey hardly ever see their girlfriends. Any girl you date gets brought into the spotlight, her life goes under public scrutiny and suddenly she has no private life either. Plus, you're risking the fact that some fans are just enough over the edge to threaten her, or worse."

Justin's heavy sigh told Johnny of his awareness of those facts. "Yeah, but look at the Backstreet Boys. There was a big backlash when, who is it, Kevin and Brian said that they were getting married, but now a lot of fans are coming out and supporting them."

"True," Johnny acknowledged. "That does give us a point in our favor. Well, like I said, I'll talk to the label, get with the PR folks, but it may be a while before I have anything."

"Okay. Thanks." Once Justin had ended the call, he leaned back in his seat, letting his head loll on the cushion. His shoulders ached with the stress that he'd been feeling all morning; he was looking forward to getting to the hotel and getting a backrub.

Johnny's implied question hadn't escaped Justin. He wanted to make sure Abbey was worth all of this potential hassle, whether the relationship between them -- if there even was one yet -- would stand up to media scrutiny and questioning, to fans' judgment. Though Justin was hesitant yet to suggest that there was a relationship there, he also couldn't deny that there was something. An attraction, at least, and maybe a friendship -- he hoped.

He had to question it himself, sometimes, why he wanted her so much. Maybe it was the way she'd just treated him as another guy, instead of the star treatment he usually got (and of which he had had more than enough). She was definitely pretty, but that hadn't caught his attention so much as had the way she'd carried herself during their first, and subsequent meetings: cool, confident, with an inner strength that challenged anyone to treat her as just another chick. He'd seen her flash a rare smile to Chris at some joke or other, and had been surprised at the jolt of jealousy that had flared in him -- as well as the desire to have that smile directed to him -- and that was when he knew he had it bad.

She was special, that was the best way he could describe her. Her remote demeanor challenged him; he'd wanted to get behind her mask, find out what made her tick. Last night had been a breakthrough in more ways than one; he wanted to learn about her, now more than ever. A relationship -- yeah, he'd love that, if it came to it; but he wasn't going to press Abbey, he wanted it to happen on her terms.

He snorted at that thought. I must really be in love with her if I'm thinking like this. Getting to his feet, he headed to the front to let the others know what was up.

"So what's going on?" Lance asked, turning to see Justin emerge from the back area of the bus.

Justin sat down next to Lance, running a hand over the bandanna he'd tied over his cornrows. "Well, I talked to Abbey last night, and--"

"Woah, woah, back up a minute," Joey interrupted. "You talked to her?"

Justin nodded. "Did you see, uh, did you see her leave during the party?"

He sounded a bit embarrassed about it; Lance took pity on him. "Yeah, and you left after her. Is she okay?"

"Yeah, she's fine," Justin replied. "We both apologized for the argument the other day, and I kissed her, and then she got scared and took off. So I got her to talk to me for a while."

"So that's why you never came back to the party. I get it," Chris said, stroking his chin, his voice campy and theatrical.

"So why was she so freaked out?" Joey asked.

Justin paused, skipping through his memories of last night. What she'd told him about herself was private, didn't need to be shared with them; but the relevant information, at least, could be mentioned. "Her boss told her that we're getting too close and that if we don't back down, she'll -- Abbey will, I mean -- get reassigned. I guess someone at the club the other night took pictures of us kissing and put them online."

"What? No way, there was nobody there with a camera," J.C. promptly said, confused. "I would have seen the flash. Didn't we make sure there wouldn't be any cameras?" he asked, glancing at the others for confirmation.

"Yeah, but someone still could have snuck one in somehow," Justin pointed out. "Anyway, that's not the point. Abbey's going to get in trouble if I ask her out, but..."

"But you want to ask her out," Lance finished. "So is that why you were on the phone with Johnny?"

Justin nodded, relieved that Lance had made that segue for him. "I wanted to see if he could do something about Kelly, but he can't because she's a Jive employee. But maybe we can do something about the publicity, you know, how they're marketing us."

"You mean, so that we can date people without getting the fans upset?" J.C. rolled his eyes, settling back into the most comfortable position he'd found. "That's not going to happen."

"I know that, but we have to try. I mean, aren't you guys getting tired of having to hide everything we do?"

He'd directed that to the three who currently were maintaining relationships; Joey squirmed a little, shrugging in an attempt at a blase attitude. "It's better than Lindsey and them getting all kinds of unwanted attention."

"But the press is going to find out eventually, and then there'll be a backlash," Chris pointed out.

"What about you and Vic?" Joey asked, challenging.

"Look, it's not a bad idea," J.C. said, pointedly interrupting the burgeoning argument to give Justin a serious look. "And I understand why you're pushing this. But, uh, I think it would have been nice if you'd come and talked to us about it before going ahead and telling Johnny what you want."

Justin sighed softly, nodding. "You're right. I'm sorry, I'm just so upset about it."

"It's okay." J.C. reached over and gave Justin's shoulder a light, friendly shove. "You really are serious about her, aren't you?"

Justin raised his eyes to J.C., smiling. "You know it."

---

Abbey had determined, by the time the buses arrived in the outskirts of Lexington, to try to play things cool with Justin. Her cell phone had remained blessedly silent throughout the trip, so she assumed there were no further problems from the online pictures or her recent public disagreements with Justin. Though they'd been alone on the balcony last night, she knew that didn't necessarily mean there weren't witnesses -- and witnesses could only lead to more problems with Kelly. However, she was assuming, since she hadn't had another call from her boss, no one had seen them. Which was just as well.

She was starting to feel the urge to strangle somebody again. Idly, she wondered if the hotel had a gym. Maybe she could work out her frustrations on machines that wouldn't fight back. Maybe -- oh, I'll call Cat when I get in. That'll calm me down.

Abbey's plans to slip off the bus without running into Justin were foiled when the bus pulled up to the hotel behind the 'N Sync bus; the guys piled out of their vehicle and promptly started tussling on the front walk of the hotel. Cabin fever, Abbey thought, rolling her eyes. The seemingly endless hours spent in small moving boxes were starting to wear on everyone's nerves, and the group showed it by getting more hyper as the tour went on. While it was funny, it pretty much fouled her plan.

The sight of Justin, at the moment being carted around on Joey's back, soothed Abbey somehow. Even though it had only been a few hours since she'd last talked to him in Indianapolis, it somehow felt like days had gone by and she was seeing him again for the first time, seeing all the qualities she'd missed in him the first time around: the bright, charismatic smile, the easy confidence of his stride, the way he related to the other guys as if they were truly brothers in blood.

"You're staring," Michaela teased.

"I am not," Abbey snapped, jerking her gaze away from the view. Aware that she was reacting exactly as Michaela had intended, she flushed, and began to pack up her books and CD player.

"Were so." Michaela chuckled. "Come on, Abbey, would it be that bad if you did like him?"

Tightly, Abbey nodded. Michaela sighed, rolled her eyes, and stood up. "Well, you can live in denial all you want, but I'm tired of seeing you miserable. If you don't do something soon, I will." With that, she grabbed her bag and headed down the aisle.

Abbey sighed, zipping her own bag shut. She knew that Michaela didn't make idle threats. But I'm not in denial. I just don't know how I feel about him. That's not the same, is it?

Taking a fortifying breath, she stood and headed towards the front of the bus. She was the last off, so she had a moment to stand in the stairwell and watch the guys. Chris and Joey were wrestling now, rolling around on the pavement as if it were soft grass. The others were standing around and watching them, laughing and offering advice; a couple of bodyguards looked on in amusement, apparently content to let them have it out. Abbey couldn't help but chuckle at the pair. They were blocking the entrance to the hotel, though, and she really wanted to get inside.

When it seemed as if the impromptu bout was winding down, Abbey put two fingers in her mouth and whistled sharply. That got their attention, and J.C. was quick to make use of it.

"Well, the referee's called a time-out, so, gentlemen, please move to your corners," he began in a slick announcer's tones. "We'll be right back with the conclusion of the Match of the Century. Will the Crimson Avenger finally triumph over the Super Dude, or will Super Dude retain his title? Stay tuned to this station." Chris and Joey had given up wrestling by now to laugh at J.C., as were the others. J.C. promptly took his bows to applause from everyone.

Giggling, Abbey made her way through the group and into the lobby. Free and clear, she thought, looking around for Toby; then a spate of laughter sounded behind her, and she heard Justin's voice call her name. With a mixture of happiness and trepidation, she turned to look at him.

"Hey," he said, jogging up to her.

She nodded. "Hey." Shifting one of the camera bags to a more comfortable position on her shoulder, she raised a questioning eyebrow at him.

"Can I help you with that?" he offered.

"Uh, yeah, I guess." Abbey was amazed at her willingness to let him help. She offered him the duffel bag, preferring to keep the cameras in her possession. "I have to go get my room assignment," she added, feeling that that sounded lame even as she said it.

"Okay." Justin trailed her as she tracked down Toby and got her keycard; then they headed for the elevators.

They paused there; Abbey's eyes wandered to the photographs on the opposite wall, critiquing the still shots of various racehorses on a professional level. They weren't bad, she thought, but she was pretty sure she could do better.

"Abbey?"

She looked up at Justin, jerking her head so quickly that her neck pinged in pain. "What?" she asked, putting a hand to the throbbing cord.

"I was asking," he said patiently, "if you wanted to go out and do something tonight." His expression was inscrutable.

"Oh, I -- I can't," she said. "You know that, I told you."

He shook his head, smiling faintly now. "Actually, things have changed since then."

The elevator doors opened, and Abbey raised her eyebrows at Justin as she stepped inside. "Really? What happened?"

He followed her in, hit the button for the twelfth floor, and waited for the doors to close before responding. Then he turned towards her, his smile a bit wider than before.

"We're changing our publicity in the way it's handling our private lives. It's something we've been meaning to do, but it keeps getting knocked to the back burner because of everything else going on." Justin watched her cautious expression, her guarded eyes, as he spoke. "So, when you told me about Kelly, I realized we should do something about it."

"Really," Abbey said, her tone quiet and a little doubtful. "How are you going to do that?"

"Probably issue a press release or something. Johnny's flying up when we get to Cleveland so we can work out the details."

"Oh." Abbey subsided, leaning against the wall of the elevator. Just then, they arrived at the twelfth floor; the doors opened, and they greeted Randy, who was keeping an eye on visitors to the floor.

"Do you really think it'll make a difference?" Abbey asked as they walked down to her room.

Justin shrugged. "Don't know. I hope so, but all we can really do is tell people that we're not going to be denying the truth anymore. We'll probably get the same media problems, if not more, but I think it'll be worth it in the long run."

"Oh, like all the rumors that you and Britney Spears were going out?" Her tone was intentionally casual; she hoped that Justin wouldn't catch any of her underlying feelings. Fortunately, he didn't seem to, though he did wince before answering.

"Well, that one wasn't entirely a rumor. See, we did go out a few times back in '98, when we -- 'N Sync, I mean -- started getting successful over here. And she was getting successful, too, so it wasn't really conducive to dating. We got to the point where it really didn't feel right being together, so we decided to just be friends. And that's worked out, except," and he heaved a sigh as they arrived at Abbey's door, "we do friend stuff together and people see us and get the wrong idea. And Lou -- our old manager -- loved it, all the controversy, so he played it up. I had to tell people 'no comment' or whatever when they asked if we were going out, so that the rumors would get fueled."

Abbey had opened the door by now, admitting them to the room; she made sympathetic noises as she set her cases down on one of the beds. Michaela, it seemed, had been and gone; her bag was claiming the other bed, clothes already half out of it. Sitting down on her bed, Abbey nodded at Justin to continue.

"So, we'll still hang out if one of us needs a date to some function. If we can make it around our schedules. But that's really all there is," he concluded, taking a seat on Michaela's bed.

"Ah," Abbey said, feeling a bit overwhelmed by this. If 'N Sync was no longer going to hide their love lives, did that mean it would be all right for her to go out on a date with Justin? Would Kelly be able to reassign her, or worse, over it? It's just one date, Abbey, that little voice in the back of her head reminded her.

"I -- I'm glad to hear it," she said, finally, "but I don't know if it means I can just go out with you. I really need to check with Kelly first. I might be violating some terms of agreement or something, so... You know, I don't want to risk my job or anything..."

"Sure, I understand." Justin's tone was much more reasonable than he felt at that moment. Damn it, she was hiding again, this time behind Kelly. "But think about it, okay?" he asked.

"All right." She stood up as he did, expecting him to leave. Instead, he stepped closer to her. She experienced a strange, dizzying moment when she realized that he was going to kiss her -- and that she wanted him to.

No! Abbey's mind railed, protesting. She wasn't supposed to want him like this, not when it was so wrong, against the rules-- Apparently, though, there was some sort of rebellion going on in her brain, because she couldn't keep herself from moving into his embrace without hesitation. Of their own volition, her hands slid up his arms to bury themselves in his hair as his lips came down on hers.

His kiss was growing comfortable, familiar, she thought dimly at some point; but it was no less intense for all of that. If anything, it was more intimate, more drugging, as if one taste addicted her and she had to have more of him.

She felt him smiling against her lips as the kiss ended, and blinking her eyes open, she saw the good humor in his eyes. "I've been wanting to do that all day," he murmured, half-against her skin.

"Me, too," she admitted, surprising herself yet again.

"Well, I'll, uh, I'll let you get unpacked," he said, and there was a soft note in his voice that made her want to ask him to stay. "I'm in 1214, if you want to... if you decide to, you know..."

"I know," she said, and smiled fondly at him. The smile he gave her in return made her heart flip in her chest, it was so sweet. It took most of her strength to escort him out of the room.

Once he was gone, she flopped on her bed, her head buzzing. Oh my God, the thought ran through her head repeatedly: I think I'm falling in love with him.

 

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