I’ve been trying to finish this story for ages. It’s so hard!!! Specially with school ‘n all ‘n all... Blah blah blah. This is in Tai’s point of view. The italics are for when his conscience decides to pop in...

 

DISCLAIMER: The only thing I own is this story line. The characters, Digimon and related aren’t mine. Never will be... Unless you’re giving them out for free... Just kidding!!! Don’t sue, I’m broke cause I just bought myself a Nokia 3310. So, no cash here, DON’T SUE! Please? All you’ll get out of me is a coupla bills I hafta pay (phone bills), bad marks, bad jokes, stonediness and the meaning of life which is... um, I’ll ask my dad that one, he knows, or read the Hitch Hiker’s Guide To The Galaxy, that I don’t own either. But it’s pretty damn funny.

 

Flame all you want, I have my own Metalgarurumon. So all your flames will be put out. Like I could care, I put a YAOI warning up, so if you still came to read, well you’re pretty damn stupid. And besides Sorato, Taiora, Mimato, Michi and all other straight couples except Takari suck. But I’m nice to Sora in most of my fics (read crap.), but I still hate her.

 

On with the fic. I started thinking it up in french (I really should listen, I get terrible grades cough7.5outof20cough...). What can I say, I was bored to hell, and I started thinking about Taito, and runaways (I had just read something about it.), and I hate french and being specific. I’m going scientific. Oooh, Matt with a lab coat and glasses... Um, slightly disturbing... Nothing underneath. This is getting interesting... Tai. Locked in the lab for the night... New fic idea!!!!! Actually, I don’t think so. As I said three hours ago, ON WITH THE FIC.

 

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My phone rings. Once. Twice. I try to ignore it. It’s too early. Obviously, whoever was on the other side doesn’t want to hang up. I get out of bed groaning. My alarm clock shows 4:02 AM. 4:02! Man! Whoever’s calling better have a good excuse...

 

“Hello?” I say in a really sleepy and annoyed voice.

 

“Tai? It’s Nancy Takaishi here.” she sounds freaked out. Why the hell’s Matt’s mom calling me?

 

“Yeah?”

 

“Is Matt with you?”

 

“No, why? Should he?”

 

“It’s just... TK’s just rushed home. He was over to visit Matt. After a while, not seeing Matt, he asked his father where he was. He said he didn’t know, that he had run off after they had had a fight. TK said he said that as if he couldn’t care less. And I’ve been calling anyone Matt could be spending the night at.”

 

“He ran off? We have to find him!”

 

“I know. I’m sorry I disturbed you Tai.”

 

“I’ll start researches tomorrow morning... Uh, in a coupla hours... K?’

 

“Okay. Thanks Tai.”

 

“It’s nothing. Just don’t worry. We’ll find Matt. I promise we will.”

 

“TK wants to help, but he doesn’t know where to start.”

 

“I’ll come and get him in a coupla hours, k? We need all the help we can get. When Matt has his mind set on something, he makes sure nothing bothers him, so it won’t be easy.”

 

“I can’t thank you enough Tai.”

 

“It’s nothing. Matt’s my friend. Best friend. And I’m sure his father is worrying right now. He probably didn’t care coz he was still a little mad. I’ll find and bring him back to his father.”

 

“Right. Bye Tai.”

 

“Bye.”

 

I head back to bed. But I can’t sleep. As soon as the sun hits my room, I jump up and wake Kari. Once she is informed, we have a quick breakfast and head off to the Takaishi’s apartment. All the other dds are there. Knowing Matt better than any of them, I assign them places to check. I also sort out groups. I’m on my own. TK and Kari’ll check the park. It’s big so it’ll take some time. Ken and Yolei’ll check round Matt’s place. Davis and Cody’ll check round TK’s place. Mimi and Sora’ll check downtown. Joe and Izzy’ll check other cities round Odaiba. And I’ll check the digiworld.

 

The new dds open a portal, and I’m gone. First things first, find Agumon in case some evil Digimon decides to show its face.

 

Luckily enough, I find him chilling with Gabumon. As soon as I explain the situation, we’re off. On the way we meet up with Patamon. While I’m explaining Gatomon and Veemon appear. Gatomon had seen Matt. She leads us to where she had seen him last. Obviously, someone had been staying there, even if it wasn’t Matt. There are footsteps. Me and Agumon follow ‘em. The others pair up and go off looking their own way.

 

After a couple of hours, we leave the forest area we were walking through for a snowy desert. The footsteps are clear now. We find Gomamon while searching. He thought he had seen Matt not so long ago, heading that way, but he wasn’t sure. So we walked off in the direction Gomamon had pointed out. I get a call on my cell phone. It’s Sora, she’s freaking out coz she hasn’t found Matt. They’re dating. But I don’t think Matt likes Sora in that way. Oh well. At least he isn’t dating Jun!!! I shudder at that thought. Jun... Poor ‘Mini Me’’s sister... She’s got this huge crush on Matt. Like all girls in High School and more. The guy’s like THE most popular guy around here! But there’s this thing I don’t get about him, he’s always hanging out with me. And I’m like, what, a soccer player with huge unruly hair... And still, instead of hanging with that popular crowd, he’s always hanging out with me. Agumon tugging on my coat pulls me from my thoughts...

 

“Hey Tai!”

 

“What?”

 

“Isn’t that Matt over there?”

 

I look over, sure enough, it’s Matt. I run over to where he’s heading.

 

“MATT!” I yell.

 

He turns round. I finally catch up with him. I pull him into a hug. He hugs back. Before anything I call Sora. She picks up immediately.

 

“Hello?”

 

“Hey Sora it’s me.”

 

“You found him?”

 

“Yeah I found your boyfriend.” He winces at the word ‘boyfriend’.

 

“Put him on, will ya?”

 

“Uh, he’s tired and I don’t think he wants to talk right now... I’m bringing him home now. Go visit him tomorrow, k? He’ll be rested and all and all.”

 

“Sure, tell him I love him, huh!”

 

“I will.”

 

“Right see ya Tai.”

 

“Bye Sora.”

 

I hang up. I look Matt dead in the eyes.

 

“What’s wrong?”

 

“Whatcha talking about?”

 

“Oh don’t play innocent with me, mister. You winced when I called you her boyfriend. What’s up?”

 

“Uuuuuh... Um, you won’t kill me, right.”

 

“Sure I won’t.”

 

“Well, I don’t think I love her. I think the feeling’s gone away. It just doesn’t feel right anymore. I feel like I’m betraying her by staying with her, but she’ll be heart broken if I leave her... I don’t want her to stop talking to me. I wanna stay friends. But the situation right now isn’t right. I can’t go on, but I don’t wanna loose her friendship. It’s like you, with that girl Heather, you spent ages deciding on if you should dump her coz you had feelings for Sora, but you didn’t know, well it’s sorta like this right now, except I don’t love anyone else, I just want to break up, but I don’t know how... I don’t know at all...”

 

“Wow there man, calm down... I think you should break up with her gently, yanno take your time, explain things calmly...”

 

“I know.”

 

“C’mon, let’s get you home.”

 

“I don’t wanna go home.”

 

“You’re going home, dammit, everyone’s worried sick about you, specially your father.”

 

“Yeah right, my dad doesn’t give a damn bout me. I’m sure he’s out partying. He’s glad coz he’s got less to pay. Schooling, clothing, and all the other things. I’m fine here on my own Tai. You just head on home. I’m staying here.”

 

“Oh no you’re not.”

 

I grab his arm and drag him to a close by TV. I say goodbye to Agumon, telling him to warn Gabumon. We go through a portal and we’re in the deserted computer room.

 

I drag him home. All the way he was yelling, kicking, so after a bit a just pick him up and carry him home. His dad’s home. I push him in.

 

I was slowly walking down the hall when I heard yelling. At first I just walk on, then I hear Matt crying out as if in pain. I run back to the Ishida apartment door. I hear fighting. Then footsteps, loud decisive footsteps heading for the front door. I run and hide round a corner. I see someone storm out. I can’t make out who it is, as he is wearing a cloak.

 

As soon as I don’t hear his footsteps anymore, I rush back to the door. It’s open wide. Cautiously I walk in. The living room light is on. Matt is lying on the floor in a pool of blood. His blood I think, as I notice the gashes, cuts and wounds. The phones have been disconnected. I pull my phone out and dial 911.

 

Moments later the ambulance is at Matt’s apartment building. The medics place Matt on a stretcher and carry him out. I follow. They put him in the ambulance. They notice me and allow me to get in with him.

 

Matt. My poor Matt… In a coma. God it hurts.

 

He was beaten up bad. I can’t believe his dad would do something like this!

 

All I can do is stay by his side, letting him know I’m there for him.

 

That’s the least I can do after all he’s done for me…

 

The doctor said if he didn’t wake up soon, he was as good as dead… Dead. If he dies, who’m I gonna invite over for sleepovers, who’s gonna help me with my school work, who’ll make me feel better when I’m depressed… Better stop now, or I really am gonna be depressed.

 

I let my thoughts trail off, I was so busy looking at Matt, begging him to wake up soon.

 

I never got a chance to tell him, I thought, Never got a chance to tell him how much he means to me, how much I care. I love him…

 

As soon as I even thought that, I jumped up. How? Why? I mean he’s been my best friend since we got back from the Digiworld, and that was 6 years ago. We got real close. He always would open up to me. He said things about him that even TK didn’t know! Hell sometimes he didn’t know what he had said. And me, I would always be there for him. When he started getting those weird mood swings, many people including his dad, started avoiding him, his dad by working later than usual. I stayed with him, trying to help him through this. Often TK would try to help, but he didn’t know that much about his big brother. Then, those mood swings started to fade away. Everyone turned back to him, but this time he was the one who turned away from them. Soon he started dating Sora. I never knew why he even started.

 

Matt never liked crying, especially in front of other people. Even in front of TK. But sometimes, when we were alone, he’d start crying, letting his feelings out. And I would hold him close until he stopped, or more likely until he fell asleep. When he’d cried himself out, I’d kiss his cheek, and he would snuggle up to me, I’d hold him close and we’d watch a movie.

 

We often had sleepovers at one an other’s. We’d rent a movie, order pizza, watch the movie while eating the pizza. Then we’d talk about anything on our minds. And in the morning we’d wake up in each other’s arms, not remembering falling asleep.

 

When he’d started dating Sora, we’d still hang out together. But Sora would take up most of his time. And I started hating her. That bitch was stealing my Matt, and I couldn’t do anything about it. Then when he said he was gonna break up, I felt like back flipping on the spot because I was so happy. I didn’t know why. I was supposed to be happy for my two best friends, but I hated it. And I was supposed to be sad when Matt said he wanted to break up with Sora, but I was happy.

 

I take his hand in mine, silently praying he woke up soon. I had to tell him. He’s my best friend, I haven’t changed, I’m still the same, he won’t hate me… Right?

 

I don’t know how long I spent just looking at him. I suddenly notice a slight pressure on my hand, I look down at Matt to see him looking up at me, smiling. I felt myself blush, despite myself. I am so happy I’m crying. I pull Matt close and hug him tightly, sobbing in his shoulder. He’s hugging back. My heart is beating loudly.

 

“Matt! I can’t... I just can’t... tell you... how sorry I am for not believing you. I should have known, you always have good reasons for anything you do. And here you are coz of my... stupidity...”

 

“No Tai, you’re not... it’s not your fault...”

 

“Yes it is. Best friends for a long time and all and all... And here I am not listening. Fucking stupid, that’s what I am.”

 

“Oh Tai, please don’t think that. It hurts me. It’s my fault. I didn’t tell you. You’re my best friend. And still, I stay quiet. Please don’t think I don’t trust you, please don’t.”

 

“I missed you so much Matt, why didn’t you say anything?”

 

“I missed you too Tai. I... I didn’t say anything...”

 

He broke down in my arms sobbing. I just held him close whispering soothing words. We heard a knock. Matt quickly dried his eyes. He’s lucky, it’s unnoticeable to the untrained eye to see if he’s cried once he’s dried his eyes. Someone opens the door. It’s TK, followed by Kari. When they see Matt they run over. Kari’s actually gotten quite close to Matt with all the times he’s over. We spend a little time talking and joking until our siblings have to leave. As soon as the door closes, Matt breaks down, burying his head in my shoulder, sobbing wildly. I hold him close, as usual. It breaks my heart to see him hurt so bad. Eventually, his sobbing ceases as he falls asleep. I lay him on the bed gently. I kiss his cheek softly. It’s all wet coz of his crying. I love him so much, I can see it clearly now. He’s so precious to me.

 

I quietly leave his room. Tomorrow’s Saturday. I’ll spend the day with him. I hate leaving him alone, especially when he’s this vulnerable, but I have to.

 

Next morning, I wake up early, by everyone’s standards. It was 6 AM, and my dad was just waking up to go to work. I guess that woke him up!!! He woke everyone up... Usually, I can’t wake up, and when I do, I’m all moody and all, and here I am, all angelic.

 

As I walk to the hospital, my mind keeps on wondering over to Matt. My precious Yamato. Not that he’s mine or anything yet, I hope. He’s so beautiful. The sun’s not risen yet. It’s pitch black. Good thing they invented lamp posts. The hospital’s not open to the public yet. I climb the gate, cautiously walk to Matt’s building (it’s one of these multi-building hospitals). His window’s open. I climb the plant frame. Matt’s in his bed looking afar. He’s daydreaming. The day’s breaking through. The sky’s beautiful, just like my precious Matt.

 

“Morning sleepy!” I say. He jumps and blushes slightly.

 

“Morning Tai! You’re early!!! Doesn’t it open later?”

 

“I came through the window.”

 

“What’s the occasion?”

 

“Well, I wanted to spend the day with you, so I’m here, and I ain’t leaving. Ya don’t get rid of Taichi Yagami that easily.”

 

He burst out laughing. It made me happy. He has a pretty laugh. I smile. His laughing quietens after a bit. He’s still smiling.

 

“When ya gonna be allowed out?”

 

“Next week.”

 

“Ya wanna come stay at my place for a bit?”

 

“You don’t mind?”

 

“Nah.”

 

“Your parents?”

 

“Nah.”

 

“Kari?”

 

“Nah.”

 

“Your cat?”

 

“Nah?”

 

“Can you say anything else?”

 

“Nah.”

 

Matt starts laughing again, I laugh along this time. I sit on the side of his bed. He comes and sits next to me. My heart skips a coupla beats.

 

“So, really, can you say anything else?” he teases me.

 

“Anything else.” I say seriously.

 

We start laughing again. He leans against me. I put my arms around him holding him close. Our laughing dies down. He sighs and relaxes.

 

“So, you sure it doesn’t bother you?”

 

“No, really. Actually, my parents proposed it.”

 

“Oh.”

 

We were silent for a while, a long, tense silence. After a bit, my curiosity gets the best of me.

 

“Matt?”

 

“Hnn?”

 

“How long...” I trail off uncomfortable. I can feel him tense. I hold him a bit tighter.

 

“Dunno, a while I guess...”

 

“Why?”

 

“Dunno. He came home one night drunk, and started hitting me. Thought it was cause he was drunk, but man was I wrong! He’d hit me for any old reason...”

 

He falls silent. That is, until I hear his silent sobs. Poor Matt. I feel a feverish wave of hate wash through me. This person... whoever he was, was making him cry. I hate to see him cry, it hurts me so bad. All I wanna do is kiss him better, but I can’t. He needs all his friends right now. He doesn’t need this. All I can do is hold him and pray it’ll stop soon.

 

His sobs fall quiet.

 

“What am I gonna do Tai? I can’t hide forever. He’ll find me. And it’ll all be worse.”

 

“We have to tell someone...”

 

“NO! He’d kill me!”

 

“But Matt...”

 

“Please Tai, please? I can’t.”

 

“Fine.”

 

A silence.

 

“What am I going to do with you?” I ask fondly, smiling softly and gently stroking his hair, looking in his eyes. He blushes prettily. I hug him close. He relaxes and leans on me, sighing happily. Unconsciously, I gently stroke his stomach. It’s only when he moans quietly that I notice what I’m doing. He seems to be enjoying it, so I don’t stop. I kiss his cheek. I can’t believe he’s letting me do this. Probably the shock, once it’s over with, no more. So I’m profiting. Living for today. I just have to make sure I don’t go too far and break off our friendship forever...

 

The week went by peacefully, lucky me, summer vacation! Meaning I can spend all my time with Matt! Yay! I’m so happy, he’s coming to stay wit us for a week or so. His dad’s didn’t seem too happy with the arrangements. But hey, Matt’s healing and vulnerable, and he just ain’t there often inee? Plus, they’re always fighting. So, yanno, I’m like “Matt ain’t leavin before the end of the week, mister.” And he’s like “He’s my son, I’ll say what he can and can’t do.” So I’m like “Oh yeah, you just wait till I get my Greymon over here.” So he’s like “Fiiiiiiine. He can stay, but you just mind it there sonny.” And with that he hangs up. Matt was so happy that he jumped into my open arms, wrapping his legs round me. The week went by too fast. I can’t remember eating this much ordered pizza. Guess we made someone’s week. I can’t remember seeing Matt eat that much. He usually manages one or two slices, by the end of the week, he was at a quarter of my level with one quarter of a pizza. But then, he was stuffed and couldn’t move, I was still up for dessert. He’d vaguely walk over to the closest couch, lay down and start complaining that I was trying to kill him. So I’d lay down on him, straddling him somewhat and cuddle him and I’d kiss him. When TK and Kari were watching, we could hear them snickering. I didn’t care, neither did he. Kari knew all about my feelings for Matt, I guess TK did too. Then Matt’d start complaining about being so stuffed he’d explode, and I’d kiss down his stomach. And we’d all be in hysterics. Then I’d pull Matt up and drag him to my room. TK and Kari’d always ask what we were gonna do. I’d usually answer something gross, and they’d freak out. I’d settle Matt and myself in bed, put my arms round him and we’d both chat till we fell asleep.

 

I dreaded the day he had to go back home. I had gotten used to having him there. It was going to be so empty now. He didn’t want to go back. He was scared. I understand, I would be too. Still...

 

I drop him off. I get home. A few boring hours later, dad’s back and switches on the news. I don’t listen till I hear something I really didn’t need to hear. It was Matt. They just said he was admitted into hospital in critical condition. They showed the exterior. Same hospital. It’s closed to visitors now, but I don’t care. I call up Izzy. He too was watching the news. In less than 30 seconds he had Matt’s room number. I hang up and run out the apartment. I guess they know where I’m going. They don’t stop me, they just look sad.

 

Like the last time, I climb up the plant frame. Matt looks ok, actually, for someone who’s supposed to be in critical condition, supposedly dying. He’s asleep. He’s so cute when he sleeps. I have to tell him, next time he could be dead. He starts stirring, and opens his eyes.

 

“Nnnnn? Tai? Whatcha doin’ here?” he asks.

 

“Came to see ya baby.” Ooooops! Mind those pet names! Apparently he doesn’t seem to mind.

 

“That’s nice. I appreciate.” What? The visit or the pet name?

 

“You’re welcome.”

 

He starts shaking as he sobs wildly. I rush over to his side and put my arms around him comfortingly, and rock him back and forth whispering soothing things in his ear as he cries. I wait till he’s calmed down enough and ask him some questions.

 

“What happened?”

 

“Fell down the stairs. Why?”

 

“Oh bullshit Matt! Why won’t you tell me?”

 

“It’s hard.”

 

“I’m here for you. I wanna help, but I can’t cause you keep on shutting me out.”

 

He hangs his head low and in a barely audible whisper he says

 

“I’m so sorry Tai. I didn’t mean for you to feel pushed out.”

 

I gently tilt his reluctant face up so I can see his pretty face.

 

“Please don’t shut me out. I don’t wanna be shut out. I wanna help you.”

 

A silence follows, until he speaks up.

 

“He... he came back. I was there. He wasn’t happy. He said I was not allowed to see my friends. And he hit me. Then... then he dragged me off and... and... h-he...”

 

He broke off sobbing. I kissed his cheek.

 

“What did he do to you, my poor baby?” No, this isn’t working. I said mind those pet names. Real intelligent Yagami.

 

Another silence. When he spoke again, it was in a defeated whisper.

 

“He raped me. He beat me up. And he enjoyed it.”

 

What? Did... Did I just hear right. Did he just say. No. It can’t be true... He... It can’t... Raped. Those words were printed on my mind. How? Wha? Why? Why my baby? Why? Whenever I find out who did this, they are gonna pay. Nobody rapes my baby without facing me. I’m holding onto Matt for dear life, in fear of someone coming up and taking him away, as he cries on my shoulder. After a while, he calms down. I hate to do this. But I need to know.

 

“Who’s ‘he’?”

 

He lifts his head up to face me. And in a calm, blank tone he replies

 

“My father.”

 

WHAT? That’s impossible! How!... No way! Ok, so since his ex-wife got herself a new boyfriend, he had changed, going weird, but... this is... too much. How could he? What, does he think Matt doesn’t care, doesn’t have any feelings? Just because he’s happy for his mother doesn’t mean he’s an insensitive prat like he had become. I sit there, as Matt trembles. I’m there for him, nothing more will ever hurt him. He’s trembling as if he’d given away the meaning of life to a mere human like me. We’re silent for a long, long time.

 

Then, out of nowhere.

 

“I love you.” WHAT?

 

“What did you say?”

 

“I love you.”

 

Oh. My. God. I can’t... It’s too much. It can’t. No, he must be joking! I hope I’m not dreaming. Ow! Nope, not dreaming! I’m so... This is the best day of my life!

 

“Tai?” he asks nervously.

 

You are SO stupid. He says he loves you, and what do you do? You just sit there and look stupid! Way to go Yagami! You are SUCH a moron.

 

Great! He’s crying now, how are you going to fix that now, Yagami? Oh, Matt please don’t cry. I...

 

“I love you too Matt.”

 

Before I know it, we’re kissing. This is a dream! I’m in heaven! I feel like singing, back flipping... But that WOULD interrupt the kiss... He puts his arms round my neck, softly caressing it. I never knew I could feel this good. I pull back. He’s not sad anymore, he’s smiling. Smiling that special smile he only smiles for TK. I feel so special. I pull him close and kiss him again. I just love the touch of him. He opens his mouth and I slide my tongue in, dancing with his. I’m enjoying every single moment of this. I hate to pull away, but I don’t have any breath left, he just takes my breath away. I kiss his forehead and stroke his hair. We stay like that in each other’s arms until the nurse comes in to check up on him and I have to hide.

 

As soon as she’s out I climb back up next to him. Actually, I wanted to pounce, but he seems so fragile and I don’t wanna hurt him, he’s been hurt so much by this fucking guy who dares call himself his father. I take him in my arms. He’s crying. I understand. I would too. I’m gonna make him pay for hurting my koi. And that stupid nurse goes round making him feel unsafe. I’ll always be there for him. I swear. He’ll never have any reason to feel unsafe. Even if that means never going back home, I don’t care. I love him so much, I don’t want him to feel negative. THINK POSITIVE!!!!! He snuggles in close and I tighten my grip on him as he sobs. I hope he’s not suicidal. Even if he is I’ll help him through this. Cause whatever he thinks, he doesn’t deserve to die. Right, that’s it no more horror movies for you mister. Stop it, he’s not gonna die you moron. Great you’ve gotten yourself freaked out, Yagami. Really intelligent today, aren’t we Yagami. I’m getting me a new conscience. Yeah right, and who’ll give you the lacking intelligence in your life? You calling Matt stupid? No, I’m calling YOU stupid. Thanks a lot. Yanno, you ain’t exactly taking care of your ‘koi’... Great I fell on a homophobic conscience. Don’t you go calling me names I am not. OK, fine, now lemme take care of MY koi. You didn’t need to underline it, yanno. Shaddup a bit will ya? Fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine.

 

“Matt?”

 

“Yeah?”

 

“You’re gonna be ok. I swear.”

 

“H-how c-can you s-say that. Y-you c-can’t be s-sure.”

 

“There’s only one thing I’m sure of in this world and that’s my love for you.” Boy that was corny. Didn’t I tell you to shut up?

 

“T-Tai...”

 

“Shh. It’s ok Matt.”

 

I tilt his face up and kiss him. Gently at first, then with more and more pressure. I know I shouldn’t rush him but I can’t think, he makes my head spin. I guess he started to get scared and he pulled back weeping. Way to go Yagami, keep it up and you’ll be boyfriend-less. Did I ask you anything? I’ll shut up. Good, you make sure it stays like that. Yes mister Yagami.

 

“I’m so sorry Matt. God I’m so sorry. I just couldn’t help it...”

 

“I... I didn’t mean to... I’m sorry Tai.”

 

“Shh. It’s ok Matt.”

 

He puts his arms round me and hugs me close. I feel a lot better. Well YOU should be the one comforting Matt, not taking comfort in him. I have a perverted conscience. Not only... I’m also a big fan of the Backstreet Boys and Savage Garden. Aaaah. And girly. Now stop it and return to your hole. Howsabout Matt’s asshole? Wait until I get my hands on you... And you call ME perverted? Look who’s talking. You are so dead. I think I’ll shut up now. Good choice.

 

Well, Matt’s asleep. Cried himself to sleep. And this is my fault. I’m such an ass. Can I be up you? Only if you don’t mind dying, you child corruptor. The door’s opened. It’s Joe and Izzy. I dunno what’s going on between those guys. I know they’re best friends, but sometimes it seems like more. Sounds a lot like Ken and Davis. Those two keep on sneaking off. Pretty cute, fun to tease. I’m tellin’ ya, when they come back and we ask them what happened they blush. Some day, we’ll force the truth outta them. Joe’s sitting on a chair, Izzy’s hovering behind him. Must not ask, must not ask...

 

“You guys going out or something?” I foolishly ask. You can underline the foolishly a billion times. Fuck off, will ya?

 

Joe goes crimson. Izzy is more direct as he just sits down in his lap and kisses him passionately. Joe’s one helluva weird color when they draw back. We stay like this until Joe says he has classes. He has classes? In the middle of the summer holidays? What the fuck? Izzy follows him. Like his dog. Now that wasn’t nice and totally uncalled for. I’m gonna cry! WAAAAAAAAAH I’m gonna tell my mommy. Go bug Spielberg, will ya, Matt’s stirring. You’re being mean. I’m gonna tell on you. Then go ahead. Just leave me alone. Just then Matt opens his eyes. His beautiful blue eyes I drown in. How many times do I have to tell you to bog off? Oh, at least a kazillion times mister!

 

Unfortunately, my mom calls me, telling me she had to go out and didn’t want TK and Kari on their own. I leave him a note and head home. The next few weeks go by slowly. Matt was really depressed during his time at the hospital. Finally, after a while he’s let out. It’s been two months and a half. Last week he wasn’t feeling ok. So, I left him alone. He’s so scared, luckily, his dad isn’t home much and he hasn’t done anything. I’m over at his. He’s in bed, looking out the window. His dad’s just gone out to work. Good, I won’t do anything stupid. Yeah right, that’d be a first. Oh, just leave me alone, go bug Matt’s dad, will ya? No can do. Then shut up.

 

“Hey there beautiful. How you feeling now?”

 

“Better. Listen Tai...”

 

“What is it beautiful?”

 

“I’m so sorry for what happened earlier on...”

 

“No, I’m sorry. I should be comforting you, not taking comfort in you.” I interrupt. He laughs a bit. Good. It makes me feel happy too.

 

“What?” I ask, faking annoyance.

 

“Nothing. You sorta sound like Angel. He said the same sorta things. And it’s just, you don’t sound at all the same. So I pictured you as Angel, and it’s just hilarious. Sorry.”

 

I pounce and tickle him mercilessly. I stop, he’s all red and still giggling. I smile and hug him. He immediately puts his arms round me, still giggling slightly. I love him so much. He leans up and kisses me. I respond and run my hands through his hair. He seems to be enjoying that as he moans softly. He deepens the kiss. I run my tongue across his lips, he opens them and our tongues are dancing together. I ran my hands down his back and back up in his hair. He gives another moan. I leave his lips and a whimper escapes his lips. I trail kisses down his throat until I get to his clothing. I look up at him, questioning. His eyes are closed, his head thrown backwards. I unbutton his shirt, he doesn’t stop me or anything, and let it drop. His body is so... perfect. Flawless. Beautiful, just like the rest of him. I kiss up and down his chest, hearing him give odd sounds of pleasure. I kiss him on the lips, my tongue softly battling with his. I lay him down on the bed, still kissing him. I leave his lips and kiss his stomach.

 

“God Matt you’re so beautiful. I love you so much.”

 

“I love you too Tai.”

 

I kiss him again softly. He suddenly pushes me away. Why? I soon find out as he rushes off to the bathroom. I should’ve known, he still looked pretty pale. He comes back trembling.

 

“Oh Matt.”

 

“I’m ok.”

 

I take him in my arms and stroke his hair. He leans against my shoulder.

 

“I’ve had it.” He says.

 

“Of what darling?”

 

“Everything I guess. You’re the one thing in my life that still makes sense to me.”

 

“Matt...”

 

He brakes down, sobbing loudly against my shoulder. I’m at total loss as how to make him feel better. Now there’s a newbies. Why am I not surprised. I’m gonna have a heart attack and die of not surprised. If I could make the pain go away, I would. I wish I was the one having to endure this. We’re going all romantic now, aren’t we Yagami. Fuck up, the poor guy, do you have no feelings or what? ... See, I thought so.

 

I lean down and kiss his forehead. He’s still crying when he looks up at me. He looks so vulnerable. And I hate it, I had always viewed him as strong, and now... No one knows, he’s too scared. To tell the truth, so’m I. I’m scared that he would get in serious trouble. I wanna help, but I dunno how. Hell, I’m confused. Well, that won’t be the first time Yagami. Actually, it doesn’t surprise me, I was expecting this. I am calm. Perfectly calm. Zen. Life is pink with purple polka dots... The sky is... Well, not gray. Now, I feel a lot better. Help! Murder! Someone call ‘SOS beaten up consciences’! Who ya gonna call? Conscience Busters! Great, thanks a lot! What? Now I’ve got the damn song going round my head. Yay! I’ll be singing that all night. Ha ha! Serves you right. I’m so gonna kill you.

 

We stay like that for a long time until he falls asleep. I lay him down on his bed and pull the covers up around him. I know, this sounds shallow, but I’m damn hungry right now. Taichi Yagami the human disposal. You’d better take that back right now. I fix myself a sandwich. I finish it and clean up. Did... you.. say... CLEAN UP? You actually cleaned up! Wow! That’s a first! Lemme get my camera and we’ll immortalize this moment! Then future generations will be able to worship you. *sigh*.

 

I walk back in. Matt’s still sleeping. He looks so cute. Serene. Adorable. Innocent. I love him so much. I sit next to him on the bed and stroke a strand of hair that fell across his face. It’s so soft. I spend a long time just watching him sleep. The damn phone rings, waking my angel from his sleep. I look at him apologetically, he smiles. I put my arms around him again and he snuggles in closer, while talking on the phone to whoever. He hangs up and sighs contently, while snuggling in closer still, wrapping his arms round my neck and resting his head on my shoulder.

 

“Tai?” he asks softly.

 

“Yeah?”

 

“What do I do. Bout Sora.”

 

Oh yeah, that’s delicate, although he had tried to break up, Sora hadn’t taken it seriously, so technically, he was cheating on her. But, on the other hand, he had technically broken up, so actually, we shouldn’t worry.

 

“Don’t you worry your pretty little head about it, huh. She’ll understand.” You hope!

 

He nods against my shoulder, but I can still feel that he’s worried. I stroke his back, trying to calm his nerves.

 

“Matt, you did tell her that you wanted to break up.”

 

He nods again.

 

“Then, you’re not doing anything wrong. Sora’s not got anything to do with this at all. You don’t even need to tell her.”

 

“Yeah, but I’ll be back at school soon. And she’ll be around. How’m I gonna do this?”

 

“We’ll find something, don’t you worry. You’ll always have me.”

 

“Always?”

 

“Always.”

 

“Thanks Tai.”

 

“You don’t have to thank me. I love you.”

 

“I love you too.”

 

Like no one knew you didn’t love him Yagami. You say it a billion times a day. At least. Fuck. Up. I love him, and that’s all that counts. Oh, come on, now it sounds fake. Blah blah blah I love you blah blah blah I love you blah blah blah I love you. It’s getting, like very boring. Couldn’t ya day something else? Like what, genius? I wanna fuck your brains out, I wanna jump you, I wanna shag you till one of us begs for mercy. Um? Child corruptor? I’m too young too think hentai. Like you don’t. T’s all your fault. Why’s it my fault? You’re the one always talking bout this stuff. Like you don’t want to. I do, but, I have to take this slowly, he’s been raped and I can’t believe I’m talking about this with *you* of all people. You should tell Matt. You’re right. I can’t believe I just said that.

 

“Matt?”

 

“Hnn?”

 

“Have you... have you... ever... thought about us?”

 

“Of course I have. Tai, I love you, I think about you and us 24/7. Why?”

 

“Well, I’ve been thinking, and well, I love you. A lot. I like spending time with you. I love spending time with you. It’s just, I want more. I know it’s a delicate issue. But, I love you and I want... well, uh, you.”

 

“Tai?”

 

“Yes my love?” There you go again!

 

“I’m... sorry.”

 

He starts crying, sobbing softly.

 

“No Matt, *I’m* sorry. I shouldn’t have... God I’m sorry, I’m so sorry. I know it’s a delicate issue for you. And I didn’t mean to upset you. But I love you so much.”

 

“Tai...”

 

I can’t believe it. I’m such an idiot! You can say that again! You’re right, for once, I’m such an idiot. Now, he’ll probably feel pressured and maybe give in to stay out of the mess his dad put him in. Great! It’s the return of Taichi Yagami, the raper of innocent. Yeah, you could put it that way, I guess. Wow! You actually agreed with *me*! You must be off! Yeah, I can’t believe it! See, you can say intelligent things once in a while. Well, it could happen to you if you made an effort... I hate you.

 

“Matt?”

 

He keeps his head low, his shoulders shaking as he sobs.

 

“No look at me beautiful.”

 

I tilt his head up. He’s still crying. Man, he must’ve really taken it bad. Yagami you moron! God I hate myself! Well, actually, I hate his dad for doing this to my Matt. Then I come close second.

 

“I am so, so sorry. You know me, I never think before I speak. I lack tact. But, I want you to know that you mean everything to me. I wouldn’t do anything unless you were okay with me doing it. And it’s more than obvious that we aren’t ready for the more physical side of our relationship, but it will come, and that only when you are ready, not before. I love you, and for that reason and that reason only I’d do anything for you. Hell, I’d die for you a million times if you wanted me to...”

 

“Tai. Oh Tai I’m so sorry, it’s just, I dunno what’s going on in my head, I want to be close to you, I really do, but I’m scared. Scared that you may take advantage of me, even if I know you wouldn’t. But, there’s this part of me that’s still mortally afraid. And I can’t, as much as I try, and I do try Tai, I do, make it believe that you wouldn’t take advantage of me.”

 

“Matt, Yamato, my darling, you listen to me, I would never, *ever* take advantage of you. Never, you hear me? I love you, and no one would make me take advantage of you. Even if I had to die for it. You didn’t deserve to be taken advantage of like that by your father. And I will do anything in my power to make him pay. He will regret the day he hurt you so bad.”

 

He looks up at me and smiles through his tears. I smile back and lean in to kiss him. He instantly wraps his arms round my neck, pulling me close. We sit there kissing until I sense that he’s falling asleep. Sure enough, when I pull away, he looks like he’s gonna fall asleep. Gently I lay him down, but he clings on to me. I lay down next to him. He leans in and kisses me. We lay there together, kissing sweetly and softly. Soon, he’s asleep, and I’m close to follow him.

 

The next morning I wake up earlier than him. I spent that time just watching him. He’s just so beautiful. I don’t deserve him. Then he stirs and he slightly opens his eyes.

 

“Morning sleeping beauty.”

 

“Nnn. Tai.”

 

He reaches out and pulls me into a soft kiss. I really don’t wanna continue, as I’m getting hard. And the horniest dude prize goes to... Taichi Yagami! Oh you. So I pull away regretfully and settle for holding him in my arms. He hugs back and I suddenly feel warmer. I could spend forever like this in his arms. But still, I’m troubled... Why doesn’t he want to tell someone? I have to know.

 

“Matt?”

 

“Yes?”

 

“I need to know... Why don’t you tell anyone, we could all help you.”

 

“He’d kill me.”

 

“No. Now you listen to me, if you tell someone, he won’t ever hurt you again. I promise.”

 

“You don’t hurt understand... He will kill me, if it’s not today, it’ll be tomorrow. He’ll come back. I know he will, he said he would.”

 

Great, he’s crying. Again. Why do I always make him cry? Because you can’t hold your tongue. Tell me about it! I’m scaring him... I hate hurting him.

 

“Matt. Look at me beautiful.”

 

He looks up, tears in his eyes.

 

“I would never let him hurt you. You hear me? Never. I promise it’ll all be better after.”

 

“How do you know?”

 

“I just do Matt, I just do.”

 

He starts sobbing again. The sobs break my heart. Plus I’m at total loss as to how to make him feel better.

 

“Matt. I’m taking you down to the police department and you’re gonna tell them.”

 

“Tai no!”

 

“You’re going.”

 

“Please don’t make me.”

 

I hate to do this, but he’ll feel better after. I start dragging him off.

 

Two hours later, Mr. Ishida is being researched. Matt’s staying at my place. Mom and dad are out, there’s only Kari at home. She knows about me and Matt and that he’s going through something with his father, but she doesn’t know what. Matt’s not talking to me and each time I try to do anything, he moves away. I know he’s mad, but this is for his own good. Once he’s been arrested, he’ll never hurt him again.

 

“Matt please talk to me.”

 

“No.”

 

I grin.

 

“See you just did.”

 

“Well this is the last time.”

 

I sigh.

 

“You know I did it for your own good.”

 

He doesn’t answer. I move closer. He doesn’t move away. I move closer and put my arms round him.

 

“Matt I’m sorry. I just wanted you to be happy. Do you know how much it breaks my heart to know you’re unhappy?”

 

He still doesn’t answer. I sigh again and hug him tightly.

 

“Matt, you’re gonna be okay, I promise.”

 

He turns round and looks at me.

 

“Tai...”

 

“Yes beautiful?”

 

“He’ll be coming after both of us now. You do know that?”

 

“I do, but he’ll have to kill me to even get near you.”

 

“Then he will kill you.”

 

“I don’t care, I’ll protect you at whatever cost.”

 

‘I don’t want you killed. I love you.”

 

“I love you too.”

 

It’s been two months. Matt went to live with his mom, she still doesn’t know and still tries to make Matt tell her.

 

I walk into the living room one morning and both my parents and Kari are staring at the TV.

 

“What’s up?” I ask cheerfully.

 

“Did you know?” Kari asks.

 

“What?”

 

“This. Did you know?” she says pointing at the TV.

 

The cops have arrested Matt’s father. Then a terrible image strikes me, Matt on a stretcher being taken to hospital... I didn’t keep my promise... You’re in for it now Yagami. I know.

 

I jump up and run out the door. I run to the hospital. I walk in and ask a receptionist. They take me to a waiting room. Matt’s mom and TK are there.

 

“Tai?” TK asks.

 

“Yeah?”

 

“Did you know?”

 

I’m silent for a while.

 

“Yes.”

 

“How come you didn’t tell us?” he says getting angry.

 

I get angry with TK, even though I don’t want to, I’m just so worried for Matt.

 

“You think I kept this secret without a reason? Grow up TK! Of course I had a reason. You think Matt wanted to me say anything? No. He was scared. When I took him to the police department, he was mad at me. His dad threatened him, dammit, it’s not easy to get over it!”

 

Everyone’s silent.

 

“I’m sorry TK, I didn’t mean to yell at you... It’s just I’m so worried about Matt.”

 

“It’s okay, I’m sorry too, I should’ve known. You always have a reason behind whatever you do.”

 

“So are we cool?”

 

“Yeah, we’re cool.”

 

Just then the doctors announce that Matt’s awake. Matt’s mom and bro go off, I stay behind. I want them to have their time. More to the point, I want Matt all for myself. TK says he’ll come get me after. I wait there I dunno how long. I’m lost in thoughts of my beautiful angel when TK comes and get me.

 

I walk in.

 

“Tai!”

 

“Angel!”

 

I run up and hug him.

 

“I’m sorry. God I’m so sorry. I didn’t keep my promise. I said I’d protect you. But I didn’t. I should be here, not you.”

 

I’m crying, like I could care less. Actually you could. He is too. I hold him close.

 

I tilt his head up and kiss him gently. Then again. I was so scared I would loose him. I don’t want to ever feel that way. I pull back and he buries his head in my shoulder. I stroke his soft blonde hair.

 

“Will you ever forgive me Matt?”

 

He looks up and smiles ever so slightly.

 

“Of course I forgive you Tai. Thanks to you the nightmare’s over. I’m free. He’ll never hurt me again. You said so, and I believe you. Because I love you.”

 

I smile widely and kiss his cheek.

 

“I love you too Yama-chan.”

 

He’s just been let out of the hospital after a few days. I walk him back to his mom’s place. I take his hand in mine and he lays his head on my shoulder. I kiss the top of his head. We walk slowly through packed downtown Odaiba. It doesn’t take long before we’re in front of Matt’s new home. I promised I’d bring his stuff round soon. I really don’t want to leave him, but...

 

“So I’ll be seeing ya, huh?”

 

“You wanna come in? TK’s got an away game. Mom wanted to take me, but I refused.”

 

I smile.

 

“Sure, that’d be nice.”

 

We walk in. As soon as the door’s locked I start making out with Matt like crazy. My hands wander under his shirt, up and down the soft and cool pale skin...

 

We’re laying here in his bed. He’s asleep now, he looks so adorable. Oh, did I forget to mention we’re both naked? Because we are. Matt’s mom called, saying she was spending the night over in some place. We’ve just shared the most amazing experience ever. We’ve just made love, the real thing. I can’t believe he trusts me that much... God I love him. He’s so cute laying there asleep.

 

Wanna know something? I wanna spend forever with him. I think I’ll propose when he turns eighteen. And that’s in two months.

 

I know what you’re thinking. What about Sora? Well, remember he was in the hospital recently, well she walked in on us making out. She was mad for two reasons. One, she thinks Matt was cheating on her, when he had tried to break up. Two, well, she’s a homophobe. I can’t believe I never knew. She’s now my former best friend. I don’t care. I don’t care what anyone thinks. I love him, he loves me, and we’re very happy like that, thank you very much.

 

I know that whatever happens, we’ll be happy together forever.

 

The end.

 

Hang on! I still have something to say!!! Do you wanna know something else? Sora is a man in fact, a man with breasts. Know how I know that? I used to be her conscience. She sent me off to spy on Tai, but I became addicted to that brunette. With whom I actually get on with now. Come on, applause, applause...

 

Now you can say it. Oh can I? Finally? At last!

 

The end! (And I’m serious this time.)

 

¤*¤*¤*¤*¤*¤*¤*¤*¤*¤*¤*¤*¤*¤*¤*¤*¤*¤*¤*¤*¤*¤*¤*¤*¤*¤*¤*¤*¤*¤*¤*¤*¤*¤*¤*¤*¤*¤*¤*¤*¤*¤*¤*¤*¤*¤*¤*¤*¤*¤*¤*¤*¤*¤*¤*¤*¤*¤

 

There I’m done. This took me a whole two months to write. Especially during those damn boring French lessons. I hate my teacher, and she hates me, so that works out fine. God I hate Zola and especially ‘Au bonheur des dames’. God that book is boring. I read two words and fell asleep. Seriously. I was in French also... Oh boy, talk about the love the lesson. My teacher is such a bitch as will testify the table on the right in the back next to the wall in history room 101. My math teacher’s gay. I swear he is... You have to see him to believe it. And eh dresses like a sucker. I swear... Old shirts... Just like last years math teacher... Does anyone know a well dressed math teacher? If you do, tell me.

 

Don’t forget to review, please?

 

Bye now.