>>> 
>>>The Men's List: 
>>> 
>>>Finally, the guys side of the story. We always hear "the rules" 
>>>from the 
>>>female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are 
>>>our 
>>>rules! 
>>> 
>>>*Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE! 
>>> 
>>>1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, 
>>>put it 
>>>down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us 
>>>complaining about 
>>>you leaving it down. 
>>> 
>>>1. Sunday = Sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the 
>>>tides. 
>>>Let it be. 
>>> 
>>>1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of 
>>>it that 
>>>way. 
>>> 
>>>1. Crying is act of terrorism and we do not negotiate with 
>>>terrorists. 
>>> 
>>>1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle 
>>>hints do not 
>>>work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just 
>>>say it! 
>>> 
>>>1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every 
>>>question. 
>>> 
>>>1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. 
>>>That's what 
>>>we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for. 
>>> 
>>>1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor. 
>>> 
>>>1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. 
>>>In fact, 
>>>all comments become null and void after 7 days. 
>>> 
>>>1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't 
>>>expect us to 
>>>act like soap opera guys. 
>>> 
>>>1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. 
>>> 
>>>1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of 
>>>the ways 
>>>makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one. 
>>> 
>>>1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want 
>>>it done. 
>>>Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it 
>>>yourself. 
>>> 
>>>1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during 
>>>commercials. 
>>> 
>>>1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we. 
>>> 
>>>1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. 
>>>Peach, for 
>>>example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have 
>>>no idea 
>>>what mauve is. 
>>> 
>>>1. If it itches, it will be scratched. 
>>> 
>>>1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like 
>>>nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth 
>>>the 
>>>hassle. 
>>> 
>>>1. If you ask a question you don't want us to answerer, expect an 
>>>answer 
>>>you don't want to hear. 
>>> 
>>>1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is 
>>>fine... 
>>>Really. 
>>> 
>>>1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared 
>>>to 
>>>discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or monster 
>>>trucks. 
>>> 
>>> 
>>>1. You have enough clothes. 
>>> 
>>>1. You have too many shoes. 
>>> 
>>>1. I am in shape. Round is a shape. 
>>> 
>>>1. Thank you for reading this: Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the 
>>>couch 
>>>tonight, but did you know men really don't mind that, it's like 
>>>camping. 
>>>