| 30 Things that make me smile.... (6-10) |
| 6 - Dutch People, I love Dutch people, admittedly I only know like two Dutch people, but I love them both, so they�ve got a 100% record so far. I don�t know what it is�. I know most will think �Oh it�s the dope, porn and waffles that do it� but no, I know it�s not that. In fact this is a really weird one as I�m not sure why it makes me smile. Is it the fact that the country has two names (Netherlands and Holland) but isn�t it weird how people from the Netherland/Holland are Dutch? Where did than come from? People in England are English, France is French, and Italy is Italian etc�..Dutch? What the? Maybe it�s wacky business like this that makes me smile�.I just don�t know. Could be the act they say �for sure� after everything they say. �Ah, yeah I�ll be there for sure� or �I love football for sure� this kicks ass also. It could be the fact that they have almost complete freedom to express themselves in Holland and yet they seem so mild mannered. That man from the Grolsh advert �Shtop...It�s not ready yet� (that wasn�t a spelling mistake asshole�it was to give more depth to the pronunciation�.so you can wipe that grin from your face), how cool is that man? He�s Dutch. I wish I was him�.yeah, he kicks ass. I don�t know what it is�.they just rule for sure. 7 - Shaft, Shaft kicks ass. He rules in every way imaginable. I can�t think of a single thing that he doesn�t rule at. I once thought �Shaft is quite cool, but does he have to be so aggressive?� Then I thought �Yeah, he does�. He can do no wrong, literally. In the first of the original Shaft films he kills a man and nobody gives a shit. They don�t care because it was Shaft it was bound to be right. He just kicks so much ass it hurts. Anyone that isn�t convinced that Shaft is the king of Cool look at Shaft Vs Fonze: Clash of the Titans, then you�ll know. Get an education, what the hell do theyteach you kids at school? 8 - Starbucks (customers), They make me smile because I�m superior. How stupid are people? I mean just how ignorant and moronic do you have to be to buy anything from Starbucks? It�s a rip off. You could feed a starving African child for a year for what it cost for five people to have a cup of coffee and a cake. What is up with that? Starbucks don�t suck (that much), but their customers do unbelievably. I went in once and was nearly sick. Full of cretins with too much money and pseudo intellectuals reading poetry�.it�s official Starbucks is an Asshole magnet. But this is a good thing. I hate a lot of people. 90% of people suck (not opinion, fact) and a good portion of these are in Starbucks, therefore I like Starbucks because I know if I steer clear of there I probably won�t see too many assholes. On a tangent, but why do people go there anyway? It�s so expensive, for what is Nescafe Gold blend with a Columbian name. What�s that all about? It�s like Britney �I swear they�re real, I just hit puberty� Spears is your basic Nescafe and Shakeira is just the re-vamped version. Same old shit different name. When will people pull their heads outta their asses and stop paying for shit with a fancy foreign name? How do I want my coffee? Two sugars, hold the bullshit. 9 - The Village people, When I say the Village people I am referring to the awesome 80�s dance band and not country folk. Don�t get me wrong�.country folk kick ass, it�s just all that inbreeding and toffee apple eating puts me off. Anyhow, the Village people? Why do they kick ass? The real question is why don�t they kick ass? There is no answer to this. They just rule. I mean they were musically shit, I know this�I�m not deaf. But the tried, they gave 100% and created the most dance inducing song ever recorded. You know the one� �It�s fun to stay at the�� It�s awesome. You can guarantee if you play that at any party ever almost anyone will dance�and if you don�t then you suck. It�s simply the easiest dance ever made. Fuck Wigfield and her �Saturday Night� bullshit, and as for those senile Spanish pricks that gave the world �The Macarena��.thanks for nothing assholes. But YMCA is a league of its own. I also like the fact that they are the single most homosexual band ever�.even though only one was gay (the Indian by the way�.think his name was Big Chief Uptapum). Think about it, they changed the world�s perception of gay people. No longer where they effeminate fairies who pranced around drinking fancy cocktails�.now gay people could be lumberjacks, police men and bikers�I mean how gay do bikers look? Seriously think of the most masculine jobs you can�.builder�.cowboy�.policeman�sailor. That�s the fuckin line up of the world�s gayest band ever�how cool is that? 10 - People with philosophical MSN names, I laugh out of pity. I was speaking to a friend on MSN the other day� they had called themselves something like �Look deep into your soul and you�ll find what you desire� what the flying fuck? Why is that meant to mean? Look deep inside myself�how exactly do I do that? And I know what I desire, it�s normally naked or edible�it�s not exactly something I have to concentrate on. What assholes. Everyone thinks they�re a therapist. Well no. You�re not, you sound like a fucking loser, just the type of moron that would buy into all that Feng Shui bullshit. Nobody with two brain cells to rub together pays any attention to your 2 cent theory on how we could make the world a better place. Nobody cares. Someone, they know who they are had the name �Every passing minute is a chance to turn the old around��thanks for that. That was amazing, that little line has changed my life. Holy shit, I�m gonna go read to dumb kids, walk old ladies across the street and donate some organs�..nah. Why do people always think that these bullshit phrases effect how people live or think? No manic depressant is going to contemplate suicide until they look at MSN and see one of their �friends� has the name �Don�t give up, keep aiming towards your goal� and suddenly think �Whoa, what am I doing? There is a world of opportunity just outside my window�God, I feel like a million bucks� because nobody gives a shit. It doesn�t make you seem deep or cultured; it makes you seem like an asshole. If you have a good MSN name email me, and you could evade me mocking you. I dunno, maybe a competition�how random and fancy free am I? I just did that on the spot. So remember these words before you go��If you believe you can with every fibre of your being�it�s gonna be twice as bad when you fail, so I wouldn�t bother.� |
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| Starbucks....home of the expensive coffee and bread with italian names. |