Five Types of People I hate.
1) Fat people. More specifically, fat people who think that a bubbly personality will get them through life. It won't. These tubby air thieves are aware of this game we call life enough to realise that society hates them because of their size but are not aware enough to realise that being jolly is in no way enough to make normal people like, warm to or even accept them. When all's said and done, self depreciating comedy is not distraction enough for me. They're all still fat.
2) Girls who think they're mad/crazy/wacky/nuts/bonkers or any combination of these. These girls are invariably dirty, have their peroxide blonde perms scraped back so tight they can't blink, have moody gold signet rings the size of dinner plates on a chain around their necks, wear pure brilliant white shell suits, ski pants that are so tight it makes them dizzy and an unwavering belief that unless they have sired at least three similarly dirty children by the age of fifteen, they're over the hill. These girls are not mad. Nor are they wacky. They are scum.
3) The French. All French people suck like a Hoover in a black hole. This is fact. Ironically, they have Paris, one of the most truly beautiful cities in the world. However, this does not change the fact that all, repeat ALL French people smell, are pompous, reek, will fold like a gypsy�s card table whenever there's anything that even resembles a war, stink, will test an Atom bomb if there's nothing good on telly, wear onions like jewellery and smell. Again, this is fact, not opinion.
4) Gingers. An obvious choice admittedly, but it has to make any list of people deserving of hate. Fire heads are wrong on so many levels that there's just no time to go into it here
5) Nerds. Or geeks. Or whatever Americanism you want to label these mouth breathing social paupers as. The way I see it, being cool is really quite easy - all you have to do is not be shit. See, easy. So why is it then that about 98% of people you ever come into contact with are nerds. Arrogant? Maybe. An armchair psychologist might argue that I just dislike people who are different to me and that I am intolerant. My response would be to drop the people's elbow on him but I am, however, astonishingly open to new people and willing to give them a chance. However, I fear my wide eyed innocence might soon be forever shattered as everyone I give a chance to turns out to be exactly as shit as I expected them to be. These people laugh at their own jokes, walk funny, like One Foot in the Grave, argue over which Star Wars film is better, wear shit trainers, are virgins, are not cool, smell and are nerds. In closing, there is one type of person who is a real danger to all those around him and must be treated as leprous - the nerd who doesn't KNOW he's a nerd. Those people are just wrong.On a final note, when you find a friend who is none of the above, hold onto them - a non shit friend is like gold dust! |
