| Asshole of the month... |
| November 2003 |
| Asshole of the month Who do I hate enough to put in this�I mean asshole of the month, that�s fairly prestigious stuff. Not a title that should be thrown around. I mean who stirs such a level of sickness in me that I would crown them with this honour? I know�.Robbie Williams. God I hate him. He�s an absolute tit. I�m not really sure when my hatred began, all I know is that it�s stronger than ever. I think I need to re-cap where this piece of shit started off. Take that�.that�s right, Take fucking that. That alone qualifies him as an asshole. I mean they were shit, not a little bit shit. On every conceivable level they were an ever flowing jet of perpetual vomit. I have listed some of the main things that were shitty about Take That: � Name, Take That? Oooo, that�s attitude all over, the only possible name I can think of that is more clich�d and shitty is Bad Boys and I hear that came a close second. Bravo boys�.bravo. � Songs. So shit, where the hell was Gary �I was the talented one� Barlow pulling these shitty love songs from, his ass? They were awful, each one shitter than the last. I mean how many time can the words LOVE and ABOVE be rhymed in a song, according to Gary there is no limit. What a cock. � Dances. Take That were the first boy band to make we consider donating my eyes to charity. Who the hell wants to see five questionably homosexual males gyrating whilst clad, top to toe in leather and/or spandex. Now that�s classy. � Merchandise. Take That were everywhere at there peak, they tainted the lives of every adolescent girl in the UK. That fuckin shitty symbol they had, they thought a symbol would add some artistic integrity, you know like Prince�..how wrong could they have been? � Videos. What was your favourite Take That video? Nobody can answer that. Why? Because every single Take That video sucked beyond belief. They were a combination of all the other shitty factors forming like Voltron to create an overwhelming stench of poo. That�s right poo. I mean any one could make a Take That video. I�ve made an equation to explain. (Porky Unattractive �Song writer� + Cheeky chappy type + Shy sensitive type + Loud, laddish type + Dread locked hippy type) multiply this with some crotch hugging trousers, black made from either leather or Spandex, preferably both + Shitty groin thrusting dance move+ shitty song made using a Casio keyboard and a �My first thesaurus� to reference different words for love � Future pride and reputation = Take That So we know things didn�t start off so well for Robbie, but his life could improve right? Wrong, he fucked up bad. He was destined to be an asshole forever, full stop. This article could stop there; I mean he�s already an asshole for eternity but for non-believers here are some other things which cast my case in concrete. Ok you may as say �Hey, Robbie was the first to leave Take That, he saw the error of his ways and quit��.my only response to this is, Nah. He�s was a tit for being in Take That, and leaving would have been a small step to resolving his soul if only he stopped making shitty music. This second wave of audio shit is less excusable than the first because apparently I�m one of only a few people who can see he�s shite, everyone embraces the Take That days with fondness and slight embarrassment but now he�s credible? When did this happen? He�s been hugely successful without any discernable talents� �Can�t sing, can�t dance�.he went far�. I hate this, so many awesome people go unnoticed�live their entire life without a word of praise, and this cock pulls a cheeky face, maybe moons a camera man�.suddenly he�s the savour of British pop? He�s a dick. I hate the way he tries to blag his way through the music industry, what really makes me throw my lunch up is the fact that it�s working. Numerous �Critics� have said that Robbie�s albums are good. I beg to differ, they�re shit. All of them are rubbish. I mean the love and above thing was bad, but at least you knew where you were (this was normally at the back of a sweaty disco trying to cop a feel of some unsuspecting young lady). But all of a sudden Robbie is a reputable singer/songwriter (I use all words in that sentence lightly) he simply jumps on the back of every possible music bandwagon, switching teams when ever pop genre changes. What an asshole. First there was indie, then powerful rock ballads, then pop/rock, then dance orientated pop�.the list goes on, he�s nothing but a music genre hoar. I hate him for this. I never thought I�d quote Good Charlotte, I think they did well to not be the subject of this themselves but here goes. �Lifestyles of the rich and the famous, they�re always complaining� Could this sum Robbie up any better? He�s a moaning breast, �Oh, feel sorry for me. I don�t like being in public spot light. I�m just a tool for the tabloids� he cries, on and on about how lonely he is wah wah wah. I don�t care. He can moan when he�s got a real problem�..herpes, constipation, runny nose etc. Until then he can shut the fuck up and quit this sympathy begging because I couldn�t give a shit less. Where as Good Charlotte suggest �Maybe we should rob them� I suggest castration�.then rob them. If he wants to escape the press, why doesn�t he fuck off? He should take a one way ticket to a small island somewhere. If he was a tortured artist wallowing in self pity I could sympathise, nah I�d still hate him�.just less I think. But he isn�t he�s the cockiest shit face I�ve ever had the displeasure to glace upon. He�s got such a huge head�.it�s gargantuan, bigger than mine. Constantly goin on about how rich he is�.again I couldn�t care less. I just wish he�d leave�for good. God I hate him. He dates all these idiot blonde bubble heads and each time he says it�s for real but secretly he�s just eying up the next score, god I wish I was him�..no I don�t he�s an asshole. So in a nut shell. I hate Robbie Williams for the following reasons: � He was in Take That � He never shuts up � He is talent less � He gets away with being talent less � He was in Take That � He always moans about being in the tabloids � He always pulls stunts to get in the tabloids � He�s a tit � He wrote Rock DJ � He was in Take That � He "started" that line shaved into the hair thing, and I�ve got like a scar thing which means it appears I�ve a line shaved in, just like Robbie�.damn that Robbie. � He�s from Stoke � He cried on that documentary thing � He�s a pretentious tit � He was in Take That � He fancies himself as a ladies man � He is rich beyond his wildest dreams � He is too dumb to notice that his friends are only �his friends� because of the 0000�s at the end of his bank balance � He should pull his head outta his ass and notice he�s not so hard done by. � He should pull his head outta his ass and notice there are people way better than him at everything he does� � He was in Take That There are too many to list. I�ll leave it there for now because I�m getting quite angry (it�s the hair thing that does it). |
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