Head coach:  	Rick Tocchet
Assistant:  	Dean Chynoweth
Arena:       	Peterborough Memorial Centre 
Team Captain:	Todd Bertuzzi
Assistants:	Niklas Lidstrom, Charles Darwin
PR man: 	Dave Foreman, George Orwell
Mascot: 	George the Powerful Owl
Farm team: 	Edge City Repo Men
Farm coach: 	Tony Granato
Assistant: 	Cammi Granato
        

Farm Team: Sussex Eagles
Pro Coach: Bill Hicks
Pro Assistant Coach: Al MacAdam,
Farm Coach: Mike Eagles
Farm Assistant Coach: none
Arena: Hartford Civic Centre
Press Director: Foster Hewitt
Mascot: Ernie the Endangered Species
Hartford Whalers:
Scouting Department:
Head of Scouting (Can): Dale Hawerchuk
Head of Scouting (US): Pat Lafontaine
Head of Scouting (Europe): Jari Kurri
Head of Scouting (Misc.): Danny Grant

Commentators: Bob Cole, Lewis Black
Medical: 
Trainer: Dr. Peabody
Anthem Singer: Thom Yorke

Sussex Eagles:
Assistant Coaches: none
      

New CP: Chad LaRose
Pro Coach: Brian Kilrea
Pro Assistants: Larry Mavety and Bert Templeton 
Goaltending Coach and Interteam Relations Manager: John Vanbiesbrouck
Stick Boy: Brett Connolly and Zach Stortini (since they barely play in the OHL)
Team Doctor: Julius Erving
Statsman: Jason Cormier
Marketing Director: Sportsnut
Team Captain:Eric Daze
Assistant Captains:Daniel Briere and Denis Gauthier
Head Scout:Pat Peake Sr.
North America Scout:Pat Peake Jr.
European Scout:Slava Fetisov
African Scout:Manute Bol (he played one game for the Indianapolis Ice)
Latin American Scout:Felipe Alou
Austrailian Scout:Paul Hogan aka the Crocidle Dundee
Team Dumbass: Harold Reynolds
Farm Team:Peterborough Jr. Smoke Eaters
Farm Coach:Gary Coupal Jr.

      

Farm Team : Red Deer Dragons
Captain : Markus Naslund
A. Captain : Mike Comrie
A. Captain : Wendell Clark
Head Coach : Marc Crawford
Farm Coach : Mike Johnston
Goalie Coach : Vladislav Tretiak
NA American Scout : Lou Lamoriello
European Scout : Kent Nilsson

      

Head Coach: Michelle Vendetti
      

Head Coach: Dick Todd
Assistant Coach: Roger Neilson
Trainer: Jeff Twohey
Water Boy: Ryan Card
Arena: The Sodalite Centre
Mascot: Slapshot (aka Seepee Dog)
Captain: Joe Sakic
Assistant Captains: Dany Heatley, Jay McKee
Farm Team:  Paudash Blazers
Farm Team Coach: Geordie Kinnear
Farm Team Assistant Coach: Brent Tully
      

Pro Coach:  Ken Hitchcock
Pro Assistant Coach: Craig Hartsburg
Team Captain: Bobby Clarke
Assistant Captains: Jeremy Roenick, Scott Niedermayer
Arena:   Sherbrook St Solopad
Farm Team:  Seddon's Corner Woebegones
Farm Coach:  Dipshit
Farm Assistant Coach: none
Scout: Dave Poulin
Arena:    Isolationium
Press Director:  Juss Dooit
Mascot:   none, but we plan to run around the area in between whistles with an Easton head on a stick...heh heh (no really, none)
      

Pro Coach:   Wayne Gretzky
Pro Assistant Coach:   ???
Goaltender Coach :  Grant Fuhr
Press Director:  KERMIT THE FROG
Field Correspondant:  Miss Piggy
Coaches Corner writers: Don Cherry, Ron Maclean
Director of Public Relations : Bill Clinton
Team Surgeon:   Dr. Doolittle
Team Physician: Dr. Seuss
Nurse: Cindy Crawford
Team Psychic:  Ann Landers
Head Trainer:  Yoda 
Conditioning Trainer: OB1 KANOBE
Motivational Trainer:  Dr. Frasier Crane
Sports Psychologist:  Bob "Hockey Insider"MacKenzie 
Head Scout:  Al Arbour
Assistant Scout:  Scotty Bowman
Statistics manager: C3P0
Equipment Manager:  Jacques Strap
V.P. of Player Personnel
Team Bodyguard : ROCKY Balboa
Stickboy : Pinochio
 
Team Captain: 4 Rob Blake 
Assistant Capt: 8 John Trainor 
Assistant Capt: 21 Steve Yzerman
 
MIAMI CHEERLEADERS: DREAM DANCERS
DREAM DANCER:Catherine Zeta Jones 
DREAM DANCER:Britney Spears
DREAM DANCER:Cameron Diaz
DREAM DANCER:Jennifer Love Hewitt
DREAM DANCER:Jennifer Lopez
DREAM DANCER:Tiffani Amber Thiessen 
DREAM DANCER:Alyssa Milano
DREAM DANCER:Carmen Electra
 
Arena:    Budwiezer Bleachers
Play-By-Play Commentator: Fuzzy Bear
National Anthems Singer: Shania Twain
Masters of Ceremonies: ERNIE@BURT
Mascot:   Eddie the Eagle 
Zamboni Driver: Mario Andretti
 
Farm Team: MINNISOTA MOSQUITOS
Farm Coach:    ????
Farm Assistant Coach:   Kevin Lowe
Farm Assistant Coach:   Craig MacTavish 
      

Head coach:Walter Gretzky 
Assistants:Keith Gretzky 
Arena: The "Storm Center" 
Team Captain:Clark Kent 
Assistant Captains: Alexei Yashin, Teemu Selanne 
PR man/woman:The very sexy "Faith Hill". 
Other relevant personell: Mascott, "the TAZ man" 
Farm team name:Thunder Bay Twisters 
Farm team coach: Brett Lindros 
Other relevant personell: Zamboni Driver, "Dale Earnheart JR"       
      

Head coach: Denis Savard
Assistant coach: Mats N�slund
Head scout: Anders Hedberg
Team Captain: Mike Modano
Assistants: P.J Axelsson, Adam Foote
PR Man/Woman: Jack Black, Sarah Michelle Gellar
Team Mascots: Radioactive man, Fallout boy and Dropout boy.
Team Psychiatrist: Dr. Phil 
National Anthem singer: Tommy K�rberg
Arena: Portland Arena ( a.k.a. The Grave )
Capacity: 18350
Farm team: Sunnydale Slayers
Farm coach: Mark Howe
      

Echo Bay Ignoramis
Head coach: Al Arbour
Assistants: Clark Gillies, Billy Smith
Arena: Bucci's Commonwealth Arena
Team Captain: Chris Pronger 
Assistant Captains: J.P. Dumont, Carlo Colaiacovo
PR Playa: Ahkmar Jabbaar Jenkins
Other relevant personell: None that haven't been
fired, fined or charged with Sexual Assault
Farm team name: Marquette Game Cocks
Farm team coach: Mike Bossy
Other relevant personell: Until they prove they do
anything positive, thats all they get.


   
      

Owners:      Ali Baba Grill (51%) Public Shares (49%)
Head Coach:  Miss Patty Burns
Assistant Coach:  Paul Coffey, Pat Burns
Farm Team Name:  Salt Lake Legions
Farm Team Coach: Mini-Me
Farm Team Assistant Coach:  Tim Hunter
Head Scout:  Shane Churla
PR director:   Barry Melrose
Arena:  Denver Coliseum
Capacity: 666
Zamboni driver: Gimli the Dwarf
Team Motivational Speaker: "Tiger" Williams
Additional Staff: BoD (Bashful, Doc, Happy, Grumpy, Dopey, Sneezy and Sleepy), Board of Dwarves.
 
Team Spy: 007
Captain: H�kan Loob
Assistants: Mario Lemieux, Brian McCabe
 Mascot:  Inflatable Snow-White 
      

Location:  Charlottetown, PEI
Arena Name:  Charlottetown Civic Centre
Head coach:  TBA  
Assistant:  Gerard Gallant, Hardy Astrom    
PR man:  Dennis F'n Bonvie
Mascot:  Bud the Spud
Anthem Singer:  Dr. Stompin' Tom Connors
Farm Team:  Cavendish Red Heads 
Farm coach:  Dave "Cement Head" Semenko
Assistant:  Lanny McDonald, Rick Vaive
      

Head Coach:  Bill Froehler
Assistant Coaches:  Mark Osbourne
Arena: 21,000 seat "The Cavern"

      

Head Coach - Toe Blake - revived using Mayhem Magic 
Asst Coach (Fwds - Muckers) - John Ferguson 
Asst Coach (Fwds - Bangers) - Chris Nilan 
Asst Coach (Dmen - Bangers) - Larry Robinson 
Asst Coach (Dmen - Rushers) - Doug Harvey - more Mayhem Magic 
Asst Coach (Scorers) - Guy Lafluer 
Asst Coach (Passers) - Jean Beliveau 
Asst Coach (PP) - Steve Shutt 
Asst Coach (PK) - Bob Gainey 
Asst Coach (Pests) - Mario Tremblay 
Gman Coach - Ken Dryden 
Asst Coach (Stifle your Ass) - Jacques Lemaire 
Asst Coach (Blow your Ass out of Town) - Maurice Richard - Mayhem Magic!!! 
Team Docs - Papa Shango & Undertaker (needs someone to use Mayem Magic)
Farm Team - Vancouver Vanquish

Head Coach - Pat Quinn 
Asst Coach - Thomas Gradin 
Asst Coach - Kurt Fraser 
Gmen Coach - Richard Broduer
      

Pro Team: Niagara Falls Rapids
Pro Coach: Bob Baun
Pro Assistant Coach: Bill Derlago
Arena: Peace Bridge Memorial Centre
Farm Team: Lakeview park Arena # 6 pad
Farm Coach: Dave Keon
Farm Assistant Coach: Rick Vaive
Arena: Thorold Tax Centre
Press Director: Jim Rome
Mascot: (RIP LUCKY Bucky the barrel)N/A
Commentators: Jim Bowen, Ron Zanussi