in my dream I felt your hands slip from mine
as my eyes accepted late morning light,
their wakeful hopes blinked and were silenced
as the bars on the fabric of the empty pillow to the right
slammed down to that dream and shut in that night
in the automobile my boots slipped into
a new tune played and the rancid tears fell
releasing the strain born from holding the pain
stinging when left alone on their lids to swim in disdain
again and again, breathe in and let it rain
rain on the songs that were once so easy
i'd forgotten I needed to try to sing them
forgotten how much forgetting their entrances
were needed
instead I begin too late
mocking this fate
this wishing for hate
to wash away the debate
to love you
to let my heart leave you
to try and believe what I knew
to lie and deceive to hold onto
what was once my spirit's only food
cheeks begin to feel again
as the song ends and the wind remains
the waterfall through which I stare
becomes a filter, a frame for a face fresh from fear
bleeding to a blur in the rear-view mirror
trying to hold fast the wheel
accepting and including what I feel
scared from this mired mind again
I see the clouds break and become a
bright billow and bend
I love you
I let my heart leave you
I know I can believe what I once knew
I won't lie to hold onto
what my spirit will forever hold as you
forever hold as you
amazing and true
forever grateful for all that was you
ellee 2002
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