don't need a menu
don't need no diet plate
don't want no rice cakes
or vegan stew you
gotta help me
build up my muscle
but protein shakes
and power bars won't do the trick
no

I want calories
Mallory's calories
I want to see her
walk the dog and smoke and drink her coke
yeah
I need calories
Mallory's calories
Put me down for a nice wet
bushel and a peck of

High love calories
Mallory's calories
No artificial emotion,
taste the real thing all night long
yeah