The pain in my chest
is not a heart attack
it's your hand on my breast
pinching until I cannot think
jarring me to full attention
like the woman in the next stall
slapping her baby son
until my mind just goes numb
and i drown again
and again on that tile
i drown each time i see you
with your sweetly smug smile

you're like a flat bottle of soda
that i can't get enough of
so i drink the tepid remnants
of my unrequited love
again and again
i drown in mortal sin
not remembering where you end
and where I begin

and so I zip up my jacket
flush the toilet just for show
open the door, coast is clear
"Childbeater" left long ago
again you find my breast
pressing on in your quest
hands that feed like a baby
you're sucking the very life from me

again and again
i'm drowning in this sin
you come again and again
never leaving time to mend

your breath comes slower
i think I just might win
yet you left me to swim
until i drown in you again

when will i win
you always bring your sting and then
my wet heart that cannot mend
breaks its walls
spilling blood and self and all
that i ever thought
my heart contained

where am i now inside my brain
with you
in front of you
inside of you

again