Bill Gates in Hell:
Bill Gates died in a car accident. He found himself in
Purgatory being sized up by God...
"Well, Bill, I'm really confused on this call. I'm not
sure whether to send you to Heaven or Hell. After all,
you enormously helped society by putting a computer in
almost every home in the world and yet you created that
ghastly Windows 95. I'm going to do something I've never
done before. In your case, I'm going to let you decide
where you want to go!" Bill replied, "Well, thanks, God.
What's the difference between the two?"
God said, "I'm willing to let you visit both places
briefly if it will help you make your choice"
Fine, but where should I go first?"
God said, "I'm going to leave that up to you."
Bill said, "OK, then, let's try Hell first." So Bill went
to Hell. It was a beautiful, clean, sandy beach with clear
waters. There were thousands of beautiful women running
around, playing in the water, laughing and frolicking
about. The sun was shining, the temperature was perfect.
Bill was very pleased. "This is great!" he told God. "If
this is Hell, I REALLY want to see Heaven!"
"Fine," said God and off they went.
Heaven was a high place in the clouds, with angels
drifting about playing harps and singing. It was nice but
not as enticing as Hell. Bill thought for a quick minute
and rendered his decision. "Hmm, I think I prefer Hell"
he told God. "Fine," retorted God, "as you desire." So
Bill Gates went to Hell.
Two weeks later, God decided to check up on the late
billionaire to see how he was doing in Hell. When God
arrived in Hell, he found Bill shackled to a wall,
screaming amongst hot flames in a dark cave. He was being
burned and tortured by demons.
"How's everything going, Bill?" God asked.
Bill responded - his voice full of anguish and
disappointment, "This is awful, this is not what I
expected. I can't believe this happened. What happened to
that other place with the beaches and the beautiful
women playing in the water?"
God says "That was the screen saver".
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