Taurus (April 21 - May 20)

 

Your nerves may be as shaky as a dude with his meat in the grinder! Seems something you did months ago has come back to fuck with your head. You may be able to bullshit your way out of it. If not, paybacks are a motherfucker! Ease up on those Gorilla Bisquits you've been droppin'. They don't mix well with Wild Turkey. Besides that, you could get so messed up you won't even notice the head cheese on the stale old cunt you poke your pee-pee in. Unless you don't mind flies in your foreskin!