Sagittarius (November 22 - December 20)

 

You just might as well face facts. Fun is fun, but you've partied yourself into an anus alert. So stop licking the lining of some sweat hog's lips long enough to fix the leak in your oil tank. 'Cause if ya haven't gotten your scoot in top shape by now, you're in for some problems. You'll be stuck somewhere out in bum-fuck-Egypt with bumps on your bungus, using your dong for a dip-stick!