Cancer (June 21 - July 21)

 

The last year and a half has been enough to dull your dick! But now you'll find yourself attracting more cash than a turd does flies. An offer near the middle of the month can give you a bigger thrill than a bent banana in an ape's ass! This can take some of the strain off your brain. Stay away from unusual foods like eating at the Who Flung Dung. This month it could cause strange lumps in your plops and pucker your poopchute. But give those sweat hogs a flick of your click and watch their eyes light up!