Ownership to the anti-Bush parodies were given to ACT on 3 September
2004. May God Bless our American Pride.
(Sung to the tune of "You picked a fine time to leave me, Lucille")
In a hole in the desert, outside Al Fallujah
I last saw a friend by my side
He called out to mama,
here in the darkness,
Held my hand softly, and died.
Alone with his body,
I cried for a while,
Then wiped the sand out of my tears,
I pray for my children,
and hope that I see them
And that this war ends so they never come here.
Night heat, in the eighties,
We crossed the Euphrates
And made our advance towards Bagdad
Without any slumber,
We marched in large numbers,
Not knowing what the enemy had.
We heard they took Bahtra
On the outskirts of Bagdad
The news really gave us a thrill
But the cheer never lasted,
Because we got blasted
Two more of my comrades were killed.
CHORUS:
Another mission so far from our homes.
America's finest, together, alone.
Please keep sending letters
Don't ever forget us
We need to know you're still by our side.
May God Bless our American Pride.
Mission Accomplished, the President said it
But, Brother, it doesn't seem fair.
Iraqi's aren't happy, their poor just aren't healthy,
There's tension so thick in the air.
I know there's a reason,
I'm here Christmas season,
I'm doing all that I can do.
Please give love and trust us,
Please never disown us
As Veterans of Foreign Wars fighting for you.
In America, we can be so proud,
We've the freedom to speak just a little more loud
(and) In America, we've a lot to say
On our in-Dependence day
In America we may have some stress
After World War Two, * there was a big mess
So our government lent our money away
Now it's in-Flation today
{Chorus:}
No matter what I see
Don't ever tread on me
And as we always say
Hey! Hey! Hey, Stay out of our way....ay...ay
In America
We've got a lot to love
With the blessings of our father from above
Whatever side you choose,
Be sure to spread the news
That the best - place to live - to achieve - what your
heart - might say...ay...ay
(is) In America
In America, we've a lot to feed
Cause our poverty is greater than the foreign need
(and) In America, it's the farmers' strife
Without them, we'd have no life.
In America, it's in God we pray
And we're never gonna give a damn for Tim McVeigh
(and) In America, stick together we must,
For in freedom that we trust.
I see flashes of bombs, B-1's in flight,
Anti-aircraft tracers, all through the night
and I think to myself, what a wonderful war.
I see a new draft emerging, People with signs
War ration needy standing in lines
and I think to myself, what a wonderful war
The colors of the wounded, the reds and the greens
The sounds of rushing waters from field latrines
Mortar round screaming out as they pass through the sky
What goes up must come down, but we never ask why.
Haliburton and George Bush, working hand in hand,
Pumping out oil from Iraqi sand,
And I think to myself, what a wonderful war.
As George Orwell can see, it's Nineteen Eighty-Four.
The street was fairly empty when the bus stopped for the train,
The driver, to fulfill the law, opened the door again.
And as the crossroad signals blared, the barricades came down.
And that was when a man got off, and staggered into town.
His stature was five feet or so, his fingernails clean.
The shirt was rather dirty; He was much more stout than lean.
And as he looked into the sky, he saw a raindrop fall.
He said, "I think its raining." From then he knew his call.
CHORUS:
Doin' his job,
best as he can
Joe Momma, The Weatherman
Twenty thousand weathermen had left the job before
But the boss has patience for another thousand more
'Tis then that Joe walked in the station from the parking lot.
He said, "I think its raining." He was hired on the spot.
They sat him in an office with a microphone and chair.
They told him in one minute they would put him on the air.
The light began to flash, and as the microphone came down.
He said, "I think its raining." It was broadcast to the town.
CHORUS:
The boss walked to the window to behold the wondrous day.
A flash flood hit the city; washed the station site away.
And as Joe Momma drifted down and floated out of sight,
The city sank in awe, the weatherman was right.
If you hadn’t time to wait for pictures to develop
Well, if you hadn’t a year
Now Photo Depot is here
If you want the choice of size and paper for your pictures
Well, if you hadn’t a clue
Now Photo Depot’s for you
We do Color Disk and one-ten up to one-thirty-five
and three-by-fives to five-by-sevens just isn’t jive
color in an hour
can you feel the power
wouldn’t you know
It’s Photo Depot
It’s all up to you
We do it all in just an hour (Yes Yes)
So when you’re ready to go
Stop in at Photo Depot
Stop in at Photo Depot
Stop in at Photo Depot
Our burden to bear
Sung to the tune of "Send in the clowns."
One thousand one graves
Arlington's hill
Young men and women in life
Now lying still.
Our burden to bear.
Why in Iraq?
What is the truth?
If George Bush had sent them to France
They'd survive their youth.
W.M.D.'s not there.
Our burden to bear.
What happened to the burden of truth?
When did America become the villain of youth?
Has anyone heard of Osama all year?
There was no remorse.
They only brought fear.
We've crossed the line,
There's blood in the sand.
A thousand have died far away
in a foreigner's land.
Halliburton will cheer
New contracts appear
George Bush is still here.
Dick's getting rich.
We're getting old.
A thousand young bodies are dead
Their blood lines ran cold.
Their parents are sad.
The purpose was bad.
We need Bush no more.
He was a favorite torture man from Guantanamo Bay
He had a torture style no one else could slay
He was the top man of his craft
Then Donald Rumsfeld came by and put Iraq on his path
He in Army still, they say at Amnesty,
It's George Bush'es torture master for the US Army.
He was punching, slapping, kicking, stamping on their feet
He loved to hear their screams and cries, it was so neat,
And then he'd photograph the men
Wearing panties and dress, with wires strapped to <ahem>
He'd even make time to rape female detainees
It's George Bush'es torture master for the US Army.
Well the Red Cross said they'd witness this in two thousand three,
nothing ever changes
George Bush'es government put a deaf eye upon the scene
Another nine months passed at Abu Ghraib
It's George Bush'es torture master for the US Army.
Janis Karpinski was a torture gal for the US Army.
But she was laid off just this year in January
So Donald Rumsfeld went and found a whole new regime
It's George Bush'es torture masters for the US Army.
The eight hundredth M.P. Brigade really knows its job
Two men died in custody
You know those bods were never seen by the ol' Red Cross
It's as if we US Citizens just have no say.
The Geneva Conventions of War were simply all blown away.
{Instrumental}
They put the boys to sleep with poison every night
Phosphoric liquid taken from chemical lights.
And the broom handles were bad
With them, they sodomized a fifteen-year old man
And placed a dog chain 'round a naked detainee
It's George Bush'es torture masters for the US Army.
George W. is never
true
He lies with everything he'll do
And tells you what you want to hear
But always gets you in the rear
If you don't want this problem to happen anymore.
Make sure you vote for someone else to even the score.
Skies are gray, as George Bush saw
There was a change, we're out of range
Now I get all that I can endure,
for my own gain, in dust and rain
I am loot-iful, no matter what I take.
Bullets can't bring me down.
Finally my life is full of what I'll haul away.
Now that Saddam's not around. Let's hope that freedom's here to
stay.
Rumsfeld, he was serious,
that he was upon our side.
I recall, back there in eighty-three,
Saddam himself shook Rumsfeld's hand, that's the way it was.
Now I'm loot-iful. The bank I'll have to break,
For we poor have nothing more.
I sold a kidney, lung and cornea
What are economic sanctions for? The poor were all that had to
pay..
You'll find all things are true
Just like life in old Pompeii
When the fire falls on you
There's no place to run away.
And if there's life anew
Down the diplomatic alleyway
Watching for the switcheroo
When they give my land away
Now I'm loot-iful, I'm blessed for Allah's sake.
Saddam made us suffer more
It may look ugly here, but remember who's to blame
My children won't starve anymore, even if I die today.
Don't you shoot me down today.
Don't you shoot me down today.
Has anybody here seen Christopher Farley? Can you tell me where he's
gone?
He brought smiles to many people, but it seems the good, they die young.
I just turned around and he's gone.
Anybody here, seen Gilda Radner? Can you tell us where she's gone?
She was in the pub with old Rosanadana.
I just turned around and she's gone.
Has anybody here, seen old John Belushi? Can you tell us where he's
gone?
He went to the Blues Brothers Two-Thousand movie
He winked at Dan and Goodman, then he'd gone.
Through the fun and years, the things they stood for, They kept
Saturday Night alive.
They freed the hearts of people, who keep on believing, some how we'd
all survive
Did anybody here, hear about Phil Hartman? Can you tell us where he's
gone?
He's playing in the wings with the late cast of Saturday Night Live.
And in our hearts, they never will be gone.
(c) 2000 David Brager The Wizard of Oz
Sung to "Two Princes" by Spin Doctors
A whirlwind brought you, Dorothy, here to Munchikinland
Your house dropped and killed a wicked witch now. Strike up the
band
Now just then Munchikins came to meet you, as Toto'd play
The Wicked Witch of the West came to visit you. Then went away.
So you went, and walked the yellow road now, and that's a blast
You came up on a lonely scarecrow, but walked on past
He hollared out, "Don't you know that you're going the wrong way
But I don't know, I haven't any brains here to really say
The wicked Witch, she frightens me,
She likes to play with fire, makes me want to flee
I have no place to store a memory
But I know what I need to really be so free
And fire will eliminate the last of me."
So you walked along the road with Scarecrow, and found a tin man
You oiled him, and brought him on along, with his oil can
And then you, found cowardly lion, as there you'd stay
He tried hard, but never could he really scare you away
(Instrumental part...probably with adlib of voices)
The Emerald City was a long walk, through hill and dale
The poppies made you really sick, you looked so pale
But you woke up, and made it to the doorman, at the gates, you heard
He took you all and scrubbed and cleaned you up so you could see the
Wizard
Wizard said,"Go kill the witch.
If you want a chance to make a lifetime switch
I don't mind delivering everything you wish
But I'm not into doing things without a catch
So I won't help until you meet your match.
So you went to find the wicked witch, and took your friends
The monkeys came and swooped you far away, to meet your end
But then the Scarecrow found a way to save you, and that's okay
Fighting fire with a bucket of water, melted the witch away
You went back to see the Wizard, and found a bum
It turned out the wizard lived in Kansas, in an old slum
But a balloon mishap made him fly away and land in OZ
Hee's a humbug, but offers to help you and win your cause
The balloon, is filled for you to fly back and far away
A pussycat tempts Toto, who runs off, which makes you stay
But then the Good Witch of the North, she comes to call
And offers to send you back, with Toto, for one and all.
"So did you learn the lesson, Dorothy, or will you stay"
"No, Glinda, I want the things around me to be okay
I know now, that everything I have is in my yard
And anything my heart shall e're desire won't be that hard"
And so you just clicked them ruby slippers three times you'd roam
Repeating,over, over and over, "no place like home"
(fade out)
"There's no place like home, There's no place like home"
"There's no place like home, There's no place like home"
I wonder what it's like to be true chameleon
I wonder what it'd feel like to just blend in
Well I'd find me a mountain, and just become another piece of wall
And no one'd have to look at me at all...not at all.
I wonder what it's like to be human being
I wonder what it's feel like to be so freeing
I'd look just like the others and they'd never take notice of me today
I could walk downtown and no one'd scream away...they'd just say
Stand up, and I'm sixty five stories tall
But with these little tanks, they make me just trip and fall,
I never meant to do no harm, I just came here for a snack
But in Godzilla's world they keep trying to attack...me...me...just let
me be.
I wonder what it's like to be deadly virus
I wonder what it'd feel like to be that small
I'd attack all these humans and multiply each time they'd reproduce
Give them the medicine of abuse...they'd lose...and in the end I win
Stand up, and I'm sixty five stories tall
But with these little tanks, they make me just trip and fall,
I never meant to do no harm, I just came here for a snack
But in Godzilla's world they keep trying to attack
I want peace
You want peace
Why can't we meet and make it all work out?
Lets make peace, so I can sleep...and you...can get some too.
Stand up, and I'm sixty five stories tall
But with these little tanks, they make me just trip and fall,
I never meant to do no harm, I just came here to be free
But in Godzilla's world they keep trying to attacking me
Now it's Godzilla's world, we need to just be free
Now it's Godzilla's world, we need to just be free...for you...and me
Well life in the house just can't be beat
Cause I belong to Granny, who's always sweet
All I gotta do is swing and tweet
Thank God I'm a Tweety Bird®
Well Sylvester is a cat that belongs to Granny
And he always tried to eat me so I always gotta scrammy
But when Granny finds out, she hits him in the fanny,
Thank God I'm a Tweety Bird®
Well, I got me a water dish that doubles as Jacuzzi®
While my bird seed makes a soft spot to take me a snoozy
And I know how to get out when I need to tease some pussy
Thank God I'm a Tweety Bird®
Can you imagine???...Jingles for Products
that
don't exist...but could...
In-sta-Flu Ipecac Solution
(Sung to the tune of "Turn, turn, turn")
In every job, (In-sta-Flu)
There comes a reason (In-sta-Flu)
And a time, for every person, to play hookey
Your car's in the shop, your son has a cold
Your life's in the dump, your spouse ran away
Or you just take a day off,
That is the time for Insta-Flu-uu
So take your time (In sta-Flu)
Enjoy every season (In-sta-Flu)
For your life has something to deliver
You'll get the day off, and get it with pay
And they won't let you come back for a week
So you can get back on track
Insta-Flu is there when you won't be.
Hologram Driving Companion
(Sung to the Cats hit "Memories")
Driving,
in my car in the desert,
I am here with my hubby,
as he's there at the wheel
He's screaming,
Cause I can't navigate like he likes
And he thinks its,
A big deal
So I remarked
Take me to Wal-Mart
To see if they have one
Just what I need
To travel for me
A Hologram Traveling Companion
Now I
sit alone in the back seat
Just as my husband
still continues to drive
My savior
is my new H TC
Somehow I know now...
I'll survive...
(announcer)
Hologram Traveling Companion
Satellite Navigation for the Nineties.
McDouggall’s National Anthem
Sung to the tune of "Oh Christmas Tree"
Oh land of free and mystery
we give our lives to protect thee
the freedoms that you represent
are bonded by the fresh cement
we fought the commies in the fall
but they put up their wailing wall
so come with me and take a stand
we all salute McDouggalland.
