EXT. ESPRESSO TROLLEY OUTSIDE OF A GROCERY STORE -- DAY
JILL, 30s, sits at a table in a makeshift cafe, her cigar
smoldering in the morning light.
SHELLY, 40s, approaches from the direction of the trolley.
MELODY, 5-6, is sipping on a smoothie.
SHELLY
And she wasn't a problem?
JILL
Well, she got into my candy jar,
separated out all the green ones...
Jill takes a last puff, then pulls out a cigar cutter, lops
off the lit end, and places the rest of the cigar on the
table.
MELODY
The green ones give girls super
powers.
JILL
Oh, they do, huh?
MELODY
Yup.
Melody sets down her smoothie on the table, pulls out a
zippered plastic bag of just green ones from her pocket.
SHELLY
That's a lot.
MELODY
Auntie Jill let me have all of them.
JILL
She was very persuasive.
SHELLY
Was she now?
Melody pulls out one, puts it in her mouth, chews it up,
drops the bag on the table, and then starts running around
with her arms outstretched.
MELODY
I'm flying.
JILL
(to Shelly)
Like mother like daughter.
SHELLY
(to Jill)
Now wait. Wasn't that the night you
dropped acid?
MELODY
Whee!
JILL
I dropped Bob.
SHELLY
Oh, that's right.
JILL
It was a classic move.
SHELLY
Remind me.
JILL
I said, "If I wanted a great loser,
I'd date Rodney Dangerfield."
SHELLY
And then swam off...
MELODY
(approaching)
Auntie Jill...Auntie Jill!
SHELLY
...leaving him stranded thirty feet
from shore at night.
JILL
He forgot to pack paddles. It was
the anti-climax after the anti-climax.
SHELLY
You didn't come.
MELODY
Are you coming to dinner, Auntie
Jill?
JILL
No, baby. I need to get a job.
SHELLY
Not enough on your platter, sis?
Lost your job, lost your husband,
and lost your mind all in the same
month.
JILL
Dissertation. It's called a
Dissertation, thank you. It takes
time, which I don't have.
SHELLY
And money.
Melody pulls a five dollar bill out of her pocket.
MELODY
I have five dollars, don't I Mommy?
SHELLY
She earned it. She cleaned the
bathtub with a scrubbing sponge and
rubber gloves.
Melody pulls herself up to sit on Shelly's lap.
MELODY
It was really hard to get clean.
JILL
It's been a while since I've seen
anything that was really hard and
clean.
SHELLY
Jill!
JILL
Sorry.
SHELLY
So, what's on the agenda for a job.
JILL
There's a pub about a mile from here.
It's not in the best neighborhood,
but I can drive. I met the owner
and he seems like a nice enough guy.
He's going to let me bring my books
and laptop so I can study when it's
not busy.
MELODY
Mommy has a lap top. Me!
All laugh.
JILL
You're so cute.
MELODY
That's what my agent tells me.
JILL
(laughing)
You're joking.
SHELLY
Nope. She's gonna be in an ad for a
restaurant.
JILL
Which one?
MELODY
I'm not supposed to tell anyone.
SHELLY
(to Melody)
That's right.
SHELLY
(to Jill)
It's in her contact. Until the ad
breaks, we can't talk about it.
It'll be out for Christmas.
JILL
If we're lucky, we won't see it until
after Thanksgiving.
MELODY
Mommy says that she thinks I can get
a movie. "Everything happens in
Hollywood."
SHELLY
The director was very impressed with
her diction once she learned her
lines phonetically.
A cel phone rings. Shelly picks up the phone and turns aside.
MELODY
Mommy says I can go to college and
be just like you.
JILL
Another psychology major with a
background in theatre. Just what
the world needs.
SHELLY
(to phone)
Hold a sec.
SHELLY
(to Jill)
Don't be so hard on yourself. She
made ten grand, so we put eight in
trust and she got to choose something
for the rest.
SHELLY
(to phone)
I'm back. Yes.
MELODY
I got a computer. It came with
everything. Daddy helped me pick it
out.
JILL
He did, did he?
MELODY
I got a color laser printer.
JILL
Can Auntie Jill come over and use
your printer?
MELODY
Yes.
SHELLY
(to phone)
Okay. Bye!
SHELLY
Well, we have to get home. Jack's
made dinner, and his parents are
coming over.
JILL
Say hi to Judy for me.
SHELLY
(to Jill)
Will do.
SHELLY
(to Melody)
Come on. We need to go home.
JILL
Can't I get a hug first?
Melody gives Jill a hug.
Jill gives Shelly a hug.
SHELLY
Get some sleep. And a man.
JILL
One miracle at a time.
SHELLY
Bye.
Shelly and Melody leave.
FADE OUT
FADE IN:
INT. JOE'S BAR. A DINGY BAR WITH DRAPERIES ON WALLS, AN OLD
STAGE, THREE ROWS OF TABLES, AND A LONG BAR. A JUKEBOX SITS
AGAINST ONE WALL, OLD AND DEAD. THERE'S A TELEVISION
MOUNTED TO ONE WALL, MUCH NEWER THAN THE SURROUNDINGS. THREE
OLDER GENTLEMEN ARE SITTING AT THE BAR. -- NIGHT
GRAHAM
It was a fitting time had by all.
At least we're still alive. Cheers.
GRAHAM Ellis, 70s & British, drinks mightily off his scotch.
GRAHAM
(to himself)
Splendid.
GRAHAM
Chaps, I need to be off to the home.
My love beckons me be not late, for
tomorrow shall be another day, if,
again, I make it.
DUKE Taylor, 80s, stirs his ice cubes and sips the last of
his drink.
DUKE
Graham, you'll not die.
God Almighty has told me that it is
I who shall go first.
BUDDY Dalton, 70s, sips off a glass as all sorts of fruit
and umbrellas stick out around and above it.
BUDDY
You're both crackers. The Grim Reaper
was the stingiest farmer of all. He
never picks the best fruit, but lets
them get a bit overripe, so that
there was more sweetness to savor in
the hereafter.
Buddy takes a final swig off his drink.
BUDDY
Enough of this talk of death. It'll
get us soon enough.
BUDDY
(to Pamela)
Pamela, dear, our tabs, please.
PAMELA, 30s, the bartender, approaches with a receipt for
each man.
PAMELA
Here's your tote's boys.
Pamela places a receipt each in front of Buddy, Duke, and
Graham.
PAMELA
(in a fake English
accent, to Graham)
Graham, you want a packet of crisps
to take home?
GRAHAM
You say that so well. Aye, and a
can of tonic.
Pamela goes in back.
PAMELA (O.S.)
All I have is Sour Cream and Green
Onion.
GRAHAM
That's fine.
Pamela returns with a pack of chips, then pulls out a bag
and stuffs the can, and then the chips, in it before handing
it to Graham.
GRAHAM
Mates, I'm off.
Buddy flips a twenty on the bar.
BUDDY
(to Graham)
Have a good walk. I'll see you in
the morning.
BUDDY
(to Duke)
You 'bout ready to go?
DUKE
You don't have to wait up for me.
I've gotten around for seventy-five
years without help. Don't tell me
when to go.
BUDDY
But you're driving.
DUKE
Won't that be the day. The last
thing I did in a car, back when I
was driving, was have sex.
BUDDY
I never did, in a car I mean. Always
wanted to, but the opportunity never
arrived.
DUKE
Be thankful. There's nothing worse
than rolling off and getting a stick
shift where it hurts most.
Buddy winces.
BUDDY
Sorry I mentioned it.
BUDDY
(to Pamela)
Thanks Pam. We'll see you again
next week.
PAMELA
Not for four weeks, boys. My
husband's got an article to write
for the Times.
DUKE
How is Danny?
PAMELA
Great. He's set this up. All the
expenses paid and we'll be hitting
theme parks across the country.
GRAHAM
(to Pamela)
Say hi to Mr. Six for me.
BUDDY
(to Pamela)
Oh, I'm sure you'll be here for a
little while next week. It's payday.
PAMELA
True.
BUDDY
Have a good time. Good night, my
dear. You have been wonderful
company.
All leave.
FADE OUT
FADE IN:
INT. GRAHAM ELLIS'ES APARTMENT. THE APARTMENT IS SLIGHTLY
DINGY. THERE IS A COUCH ACROSS A COFFEE TABLE FROM TWO
ROCKER/RECLINERS NEAR A TELEVISION. A TV REMOTE CONTROL IS
ON THE END TABLE BETWEEN THE TWO CHAIRS. -- NIGHT
GRAHAM
Neadra! Where's my bloody slippers?
NELLY, 70s & British, is sitting in one of the recliners
NELLY
Now, ya don't go needing to be raising
your voice to me, young man. They're
in the hall. I moved them to vacuum
whilst you and the boys were out for
your G&T's tonight.
Graham goes and gets his slippers.
GRAHAM
Thanks Nelly. I knew I'd left them
next to the chair.
Graham returns, sits down on the chair, puts on his slippers,
then reclines.
GRAHAM
And I didn't have gin tonight, but I
did bring you a can of tonic and
some crisps.
Graham hands the bag to Nelly, who peers in.
NELLY
They're not Salt and Vinegar.
GRAHAM
They were out. Pamela gave me Sour
Cream and Onion.
Nelly pulls the bag of chips and can of tonic out of the
bag.
NELLY
Good. I needed a change.
GRAHAM
I know. You said your mouth was
hurting last night.
Nelly walks into the kitchen, pulls a glass out of the
cabinet, gets ice from the refridgerator, and then pours the
tonic into her glass.
NELLY
Cheers, me love.
GRAHAM
Cheers, Nelly.
Nelly takes a sip.
NELLY
Anything good on the telly?
Nelly returns, sits in her chair, and then reclines.
Graham is flipping through the channels with the remote. He
stops at an old film that has a very youthful Duke on the
screen.
GRAHAM
I found one of Duke's old pictures.
Wasn't he an Adonis in his youth.
Look at that jowl, that life in him.
I know that's in him still, but his
bloody body doesn't respond the way
it did.
As an arrow pierces Duke's character on the screen, Nelly
scrunches up her face.
NELLY
Do we have to watch this now? With
that station, it'll be on again in
twelve hours.
GRAHAM
Not at all.
Graham flips channel after channel. The flashing light seems
to hurt Nelly's eyes. She squints, then closes her eyes.
NELLY
Stop it Graham! Gets me all dizzy
when you do that. Pick something,
love, and tell me so I can open my
eyes again. Anything but news.
GRAHAM
How about 'The Tonight Show?' Jay's
got some comic doing the stand-up,
so the show's nearly over.
NELLY
(opening her eyes)
I sure miss Johnny Carson. No one
could bring out the best in a person
the way he could.
GRAHAM
Except, perhaps Jon Stewart.
NELLY
Is he on?
Graham flips a couple more channels.
GRAHAM
It's "Moment of Zen" time.
NELLY
Damn, we missed it. Jon's brilliant.
Nelly takes a sip, then shudders and cocks her head.
NELLY
Oooh...
GRAHAM
What's wrong?
NELLY
Oh, nothing. Just a cold chill.
Thanks for asking.
GRAHAM
Of course. I love you.
Nelly pauses and then gives him a weird look.
NELLY
Who are you? Ain't we met before?
Graham gasps.
GRAHAM
Wait a minute. Isn't this unit 314?
NELLY
No. It's 317.
GRAHAM
So, I'm in the wrong unit? Well,
you'd certainly make a good wife for
someone. I'd better go.
NELLY
(seductively)
No. Stay. I won't tell.
GRAHAM
Okay. But if my wife heard about
this, I'm dead.
Nelly smiles broadly and tisks her tongue.
NELLY
Oh! That's right. I am your wife.
Silly me.
GRAHAM
I'm just glad you don't have
Alzheimer's.
Nelly looks at Graham long an hard for a moment.
NELLY
Sometimes I wonder about you.
Nelly gets off the recliner and stands.
NELLY
Dear, I'm headed to bed. Could you
plug in the crock pot before going
to bed? I have a roast in it.
GRAHAM
All right, Nelly. Sweet dreams.
FADE OUT
EXT. CRESTVIEW RETIREMENT COMMUNITY -- DAY
Elderly extras are seen entering and leaving the building
through a heavy metal gate.
INT. DUKE'S APARTMENT -- DAY
Duke gets his jogging outfit on, gets his cane, and starts
heading to the door
FX: Phone rings
DUKE
(Duke's voice on
answering machine
message)
This is Duke Taylor. I'm not dead
yet, but I still can't get to the
phone. Please leave a message and
I'll call ya back.
Duke looks at the clock
DUKE
Hmm. Seven-thirty. Anyone who knows
me knows I'm not here at this time.
Duke goes out into the hallway and walks down to the elevator.
He takes it down to the main foyer, then heads to the front
door.
FRONT DESK ATTENDANT, 20s-30s, speaks very loud, as if to
assume everyone who lives at Crestview is deaf.
FRONT DESK ATTENDANT
Hiya Mr. Taylor. You going out for
your jog?
DUKE
(rolling his eyes)
Yep.
FRONT DESK ATTENDANT
Okay. I've marked it down so your
doctor knows.
Duke goes out the door.
EXT. CRESTVIEW RETIREMENT COMMUNITY -- DAY
Duke heads out the door, he is met by the incoming HEDDA,
70s-90s, LLEWELLEN, 70s-90s, and DORIS, 70s-90s.
DORIS
(slightly seductively
to Duke and in unison
with Hedda and
Llewllen)
Hello.
HEDDA
(in unison)
Hello.
LLEWELLYN
(in unison)
Hello.
DUKE
Hello Doris, Hedda, Llewellyn. How
are you daisies doing on this daisy
of a morning?
HEDDA
Jilted, tilted and wilted.
DUKE
I mean besides living in L.A.
HEDDA
Not bad. You know, your limo's here.
DUKE
I need to buy some stock in Brain
Actuated Technologies. They sound
like they're going places.
LLEWELLYN
You know, you need to give Jimmie a
raise.
HEDDA
(to Llewellyn in a
loud whisper)
I thought you said his name was Fred.
LLEWELLYN
(to Hedda in a louder
whisper)
That was last week's driver
DORIS
(louder still and
joining the
conversation)
How many drivers does he have?
DUKE
(in diminshing tension)
LADIES! Ladies! Ladies, I hire a
company. The drivers don't work for
me. I need to get away from here to
work, so I take a car. Besides, I
don't have a license anymore.
DORIS
Neither do I.
HEDDA
I do.
LLEWELLYN
Yeah, I remember. The world's worst
driver.
DORIS
(taking the last
statement much too
seriously)
In Los Angeles? How can you be so
sure? There's a lot of terrible
drivers here.
LLEWELLYN
I was just kidding, Doris.
HEDDA
I'm not a bad driver. I drove for
Fred Astaire.
LLEWELLYN
He's dead now. That must have been
it.
DUKE
Ladies! I have to get going.
HEDDA
(giggling)
Have a good time at the office.
DORIS
(in a loud whisper)
He works in an office? Is it one of
those skyscrapers downtown?
LLEWELLYN
No, he works in his car.
Hedda, Llewellyn and Doris head off screen as Duke heads off
screen in the opposite direction.
DORIS (O.S.)
(after a short,
confused pause, in a
whisper)
What type of car does he work in?
FADE OUT
FADE IN:
INT. CRESTVIEW RETIREMENT COMMUNITY -- DAY
FRONT DESK ATTENDANT
Going to the doctor?
Buddy Dalton nodded.
The Front Desk Attendant makes a mark on a file.
Buddy waves a folded newspaper then escapes out the door.
EXT. CRESTVIEW RETIREMENT COMMUNITY -- DAY
A taxi is waiting as Buddy gets in.
BUDDY
Cedar Sinai hospital, please.
Buddy opens the paper to the crossword puzzle. He focuses
on one of the questions which reads "Buddy Dalton's sci-fi
flick."
BUDDY
Well, at least I know one answer.
BUDDY
(to the crossword)
I'll get to you later.
Buddy closes and refolds the newspaper meticulously.
EXT. CEDAR SINAI HOSPITAL -- DAY
Buddy exits the cab, nods to the doorman, returns the waves
from some passing tourists who attempt to approach, then
points to the words "Cedar Sinai Hospital" and they nod more
seriously, realizing where they are, and move away.
INT. CEDAR SINAI HOSPITAL -- DAY
Walking into the main foyer, he scans the room and sees a
stack of new magazines. He approaches, then thumbs through
the stack.
BUDDY
Hmm, Saturday Evening Post. That's
new.
He then grabs a copy of Architectural Digest, a nearby copy
of Esquire, a Saturday Evening Post, and Conde Nast Traveler.
NURSE, 20s-60s, approaches.
BUDDY
Can you direct me to a private
restroom?
NURSE
There's a one-person restroom just
down that hallway. You'll find it
past the elevators. It's marked
"Handicapped."
BUDDY
Thank you.
NURSE
You're welcome, Mr. Dalton.
Buddy walks to the restroom.
INT. HANDICAPPED RESTROOM -- DAY
Buddy gets paper towels and meticulously washes and dries
the counter near the sink, using more and more paper towels
until it's absolutely clean. Then he takes more paper towels
and spreads them over the countertop.
BUDDY
That'll do.
Buddy meticulously unfolds his newspaper, removing the front
cover page and laying it out flat on the counter. Next he
finds the page with the crossword puzzle on it and lays it
next over the top. He then wads up the rest of the newspaper
and stuffs it into the garbage can.
BUDDY
How I love the Times. They're so
thick.
Buddy then puts the magazines into the newspaper, and then
refolds the newspaper, now with these magazines inside, until
the newspaper looks again like a thick bundle that he puts
under his arm. He then dashes the paper towels into the
garbage can, flushes the toilet, and goes out the door.
EXT. CEDAR SINAI HOSPITAL -- DAY
DOORMAN, 20s-60s, stands ahead of a line of taxis.
BUDDY
(to the doorman)
Taxi please.
DOORMAN
Yes sir, Mr. Dalton.
The next cab pulls up, the doorman opens the door, and Buddy
gets inside.
BUDDY
Crestview Retirement Community,
please.
FADE OUT
FADE IN:
INT. THE ELLIS'ES APARTMENT -- DAY
GRAHAM
Nelly, I'd really think that Buddy
would enjoy that.
NELLY
No. He has his morning walks. We
have our outings. Besides, I like
that it's just the two of us.
FX: Phone rings.
GRAHAM
I'll get it.
Graham answers the phone.
GRAHAM
(to phone)
Okay. We'll be right down.
GRAHAM
(to Nelly)
Taxi's here.
Graham and Nelly leave their room.
INT. CRESTVIEW RETIREMENT COMMUNITY -- DAY
FRONT DESK ATTENDANT
So, where are you going this morning?
GRAHAM
None of your Goddamned business.
This is a retirement community, not
an insane asylum. I don't have to
tell you a Goddamned thing. And
stop shouting! We're not as deaf as
you are.
Applause erupts from everywhere in the building.
NELLY
C'mon Graham. Taxi's waiting.
EXT. CRESTVIEW RETIREMENT COMMUNITY -- DAY
Buddy is exiting his taxi just as Graham and Nelly approach
a different taxi.
BUDDY
Good morning, Nelly. Hi Graham.
NELLY
Buddy. No walk today?
BUDDY
I'm playing pinochle at ten. I had
to go weigh in at the hospital.
Buddy winks to Graham, who smiles and winks back.
GRAHAM
Your newspaper looks well worn.
Anything interesting today?
BUDDY
The crossword.
NELLY
You and your silly crossword puzzles.
BUDDY
It keeps my mind active.
GRAHAM
And your heart young.
NELLY
Well, Buddy. We're off.
BUDDY
Have a good time.
Graham helps Nelly into the taxi, then enters and closes the
door. The cab drives off as Buddy enters Crestview.
INT. CRESTVIEW RETIREMENT COMMUNITY -- DAY
FRONT DESK ATTENDANT
Back so soon?
BUDDY
I just needed to weigh in.
Buddy walks away.
INT. BUDDY DALTON'S APARTMENT -- DAY
Sitting down near his coffee table, buddy unfolds his
newspaper and meticulously stacks the magazines, then refolds
the remains of his newspaper. Next, he carefully peels the
labels off, and sticks paper labels with his name and address
on them that he has pre-printed which look exactly like
magazine address labels. Carefully, he arranges these
magazines on the coffee table, then goes into the kitchen to
put on a pot of coffee. He takes a tea tray and carefully
stacks cups, saucers, creamer, sugar, pink packets, and,
when the coffee was done, he fills a carafe and places it on
the tray, then takes the tray out to the coffee table, near
the magazines.
BUDDY
Perfect.
FADE OUT
FADE IN:
EXT. SUNRISE IN LOS ANGELES -- DAY
EXT. CITY STREET -- DAY
Buddy is out for his morning walk. There's a mobile newsstand
at the corner with two very Jewish Hassidic men selling
newspapers there.
IZZY, 40s, approaches.
IZZY
The Times?
ZEYDA REUBEN, 70s, comes from around behind the newsstand.
ZEYDA REUBEN
(to Izzy)
Of course the Times.
ZEYDA REUBEN
(to Buddy)
Good morning, Buddy
BUDDY
Good morning, Zeyda. How are you?
ZEYDA REUBEN
Well, my hemorrhoids are swollen, I
have a boil on my penis, Oy!, and my
other son's getting married to a
gentile. God's being very curious
today. How are you?
BUDDY
Lonely, tired, old. God hasn't been
talking much to me lately.
Buddy laughs.
BUDDY
Nothing to complain.
BUDDY
(to Izzy)
How's Evan?
IZZY
He's just finishing his studies at
Washington State University.
ZEYDA REUBEN
He had to go to college out of state
and as far away from us as possible.
We embarrass him.
IZZY
(to Zeyda Reuben)
Papa. Just you.
IZZY
(to Buddy)
He's studying political science and
psychology.
ZEYDA REUBEN
He says that the State of Israel
uses mind control on us to think
that it's Zion. He says it isn't
Zion but just a piece of land we
stole from Palestine.
IZZY
(to Zeyda Reuben)
Papa. Not now. Please?
IZZY
(to Buddy)
I love him and he's my son. I'm not
going to let politics come between
us.
ZEYDA REUBEN
What do I know? I'm just an old
man.
Zeyda Reuben shuffles off behind the newsstand.
BUDDY
Well, I'll see you tomorrow.
IZZY
We'll be here.
Buddy walks away.
FADE OUT
FADE IN:
EXT. OLD MINIATURE GOLF COURSE -- DAY
EXT. IN FRONT OF THE SIGN "HOLE #10" -- DAY
Nelly is totaling up her swings.
NELLY
That's three for me. I'm doing great
today! That last putt puts me at
twenty-two for the first nine holes.
GRAHAM
Well, that hole-in-one on the fourth
green didn't hurt either.
Graham points to a sign that reads "Lemonade."
GRAHAM
Do you want a lemonade before the
second half?
As Nelly nods, Graham heads off in the direction of the stand.
YOUNG WOMAN, 20s, moves towards Nelly.
YOUNG WOMAN
Excuse me, but... is your husband
the actor Graham Ellis? He sure
looks like him.
NELLY
Yes, but he's in a bit of a fit this
morning, so I would not want to
introduce you on this day. It might
leave a nasty taste in your mouth,
and it wouldn't be your fault at
all. Do you mind? We came her to
unwind, and get his mind off life.
YOUNG WOMAN
Not at all.
Graham approaches as the Young Woman waves and walks away.
GRAHAM
Good morning.
YOUNG WOMAN
Good morning.
The Young Woman leaves them.
GRAHAM
(in a whisper)
Who's that. I don't remember her.
NELLY
You don't? Don't you remember her
from the party last year?
Graham searches his mind.
GRAHAM
We didn't go to any parties last
year.
NELLY
I know, and she wasn't there either.
Just a fan. She gives her love. I
told her you were in a fit this
morning as I didn't know how you'd
deal with her. She was very kind
and left immediately.
Graham steals a sip from her cup, then stops only slightly,
bending close to kiss his wife.
GRAHAM
I love you, now more that ever.
Thank you for being here all these
years.
Nelly takes the cup from Graham, takes a sip, then walks to
a nearby bench and sits.
Graham follows and sits with Nelly.
Nelly, wrapping her arms around Graham, starts tickling
him.
Graham laughs and tries to pull away.
Nelly stops him and kisses him.
NELLY
You goof. I love you, too.
She takes another sip.
NELLY
Ahh...what a wonderful escape.
GRAHAM
I still would like to bring Buddy
with us sometime. I hate telling
him we're going to the park and not
tell him about this. I feel like
I'm lying to him.
NELLY
Oh, pooh. Look, he's so macho.
He'd probably not want to go. There
are no cute girls here anyway, or at
least...
A couple young girls who look older walk by.
NELLY
...none that he should meet in the
first place.
Nelly sips the rest of her lemonade, then stands and walks
towards hole #10.
Graham stands, walks up, makes a wide, sweeping gesture with
his arms, then wraps them around her and kisses her gingerly
and repeatedly with tiny pecks to her lips and cheeks.
Nelly's giggles raise to uncontrollable fits of laughter.
Graham finally pulls away.
NELLY
You nut. What prompted that?
GRAHAM
I don't know. Must have been
something in the lemonade.
FADE OUT
EXT. SUNRISE OVER THE OCEAN -- DAY
INT. CRESTVIEW RETIREMENT COMMUNITY -- DAY
Duke is standing in the foyer with his son, daughter-in-law,
and two young children.
DUKE
Hey there, Buddy! You remember my
son Rob?
BUDDY
Hi Robert. Hello Janice. Are these
delightful children yours?
ROBERT, 40s-50s, looks at Janice.
JANICE, 40s-50s, looks at kids, then up at Buddy.
JANICE
No. They're Duke's.
JODY, 4-6, and PATT, 5-7, begin screaming at the top of their
lungs...
JODY/PATT
Grampa...Grampa...Grampa...
ROBERT
Jody! Patt! Be quiet!
JANICE
Buddy. We're going to the beach
today. You want to come along?
BUDDY
No thanks. I'm going to put these
groceries away and then take a nap.
DUKE
Suit yourself. I've got mine under
my clothes.
Duke paused to see if anyone gets his little joke. No one
bites.
DUKE
My swimming suit... it's under my
clothes.
Duke again pauses.
DUKE
I suited myself.
Duke pauses one last time.
DUKE
Hell, if I have to explain a pun,
what good was the joke anyway.
JANICE
Missed that one. I thought you were
angry at Buddy.
DUKE
Nope. If he doesn't want to go,
then there's more for us. See you
later, Buddy.
ROBERT
If you see Graham, would you tell
him Janice and I said 'Hello'?
BUDDY
Sure thing. Have a good time. That
old fool needs it.
Duke and his entourage leave.
FADE OUT
FADE IN:
INT. HALLWAY IN CRESTVIEW -- DAY
FX: Phone ringing behind closed door.
Nelly is frantically getting the keys in the lock and then
getting the door open.
Graham rushes in and grabs the phone.
GRAHAM
Hello?
OPERATOR (O.S.)
Is this Graham Ellis?
GRAHAM
Yes, it is.
OPERATOR (O.S.)
Go ahead, please.
REGINALD TRIPP (O.S.)
Mr. Ellis. I'm Reginald Tripp with
the BBC. We're doing a remake of
your film 'White Cliffs' as a mini-
series. We'd like you to come work
as a narrator of the film, but also
to be filmed on-site for introducing
the film's segments and the history
there-in. Are you interested?
FADE OUT
FADE IN:
INT. JOE'S BAR -- NIGHT
Pamela's in the back room while Jill is at the bar.
Jill is wearing a UCLA T-Shirt.
PAMELA (O.S.)
...and don't forget, if you need a
busboy or more glassware, just press
the red button on the side of the
bar, which will signal someone from
the restaurant next door to come
help you. This job may seem rather
boring at first, but the clientele
is steady, and the faces you'll meet
will bring you back every day.
Jill surveys the stage.
JILL
Pam, does this place ever get live
music?
Pamela returns from the rear to bring more glassware to Jill.
PAMELA
Not since the sixties, I understand.
They says that the place used to
play the likes of Lionel Hampton,
but the only music I ever hear is
from that old jukebox, and only when
it's plugged in.
Pamela turns and stabs an old metal map on the wall.
PAMELA
The numbering was fairly standard in
relation to the stage, though. The
first row closest is numbered 10 to
16. Second row back is 20 to 29.
Pamela points in a sweeping gesture from left to right across
the bar.
PAMELA
The seats at the bar were originally
numbered 30 to 40. That is, until
they took out some chairs and put in
two more tables.
FX: Door bell.
Pamela looks at her watch.
PAMELA
Five o'clock, it never fails. Happy
hour begins early here. I'll be in
back if you need me, for about an
hour, and then I'm headed out. You
need anything, just press the red
button. You gonna be okay?
Jill looks over the bar and around the room.
JILL
Sure thing. A bar's a bar. Just
give me the taps and let me go.
Jill walks into the back room.
JILL
Joe showed me the stock, introduced
me to the restaurant staff, and
everything else yesterday, so I'm
pretty sure I'll have it all under
control. You go have a good vacation,
and I'll see you in three weeks.
Buddy enters.
BUDDY
I told you I'd catch you here. You
ready for your vacation?
Pamela nods.
Buddy pulls out his wallet and gets a twenty.
BUDDY
You make it a good vacation. I'll
miss you.
Pamela stuffs the twenty into her bra for effect.
PAMELA
Bullshit. I'll miss you.
Jill returns to the bar, then freezes.
PAMELA
(to Buddy)
Oh, this is Jill Pendelton. She'll
take care of you while I'm gone.
Pamela turns to Jill.
PAMELA
(to Jill)
And this is...
JILL
Buddy Dalton...the actor.
Pamela starts talking as she comes to stand in front of Jill
and looks her straight in the eye.
PAMELA
Jill...Jill...Jill, he's just people.
I'm just people, you're just people.
Treat him normal, okay? The cinema's
closed, and everyone's gone home.
Don't freak out. I told you the
clientele was special.
BUDDY
(to Pamela)
Darling, let her have her fun.
BUDDY
(to Jill)
It's a pleasure to meet you.
Buddy holds out his hand. Jill shakes it firmly.
BUDDY
(to Pamela)
We'll take it from here.
Buddy points to the emblem on Jill's T-Shirt.
BUDDY
(to Jill)
Is that shirt owned or earned?
JILL
Earned...I'm working on my Doctorate
in Psychology. Pam told me to wear
something comfortable tonight since
they don't have a uniform for me
yet.
BUDDY
Hmm...psychology. I took it in
college. The Great Stanislovsky was
deep into psychology. He's the guy
that invented the first universal
method of acting.
JILL
1898, The Moscow Art Theatre, invented
repertory theatre...yes, we've met.
It would seem that when he was in
Austria, taking classes, he was
probably influenced by Richard von
Krafft-Ebbing, for they did the same
thing.
Buddy puzzles over this statement.
BUDDY
Krafft-Ebbing was an actor?
JILL
No, he was frustrated in trying to
teach a method of psychology, so he
sat down and invented a language of
terminologies in which to describe
and teach his methodology.
Stanislavsky did the same thing,
right?
Buddy looks genuinely amazed.
FX: Door Bell
BUDDY
Yes. I guess he did.
GRAHAM
I did not. What were you talking
about?
Jill looks jittery.
JILL
Y...you're Graham Ellis?
BUDDY
(to Jill)
Meet my good friend Graham.
BUDDY
(to Graham)
Oh, Duke's not coming this evening.
He went to stay with his kids in San
Francisco for the week.
GRAHAM
Good. He needs some escape.
GRAHAM
(to Jill)
The Duke that he's talking about was
Duke Taylor. You've heard of him?
JILL
Who hasn't?
JILL
(to both)
Is there anyone else I should know
about?
BUDDY
There's a place called Crestview
Retirement which is just about next
to this place. It's what you might
call an old actors home. A lot of
us do anything we can to escape, and
this is one of the places we go.
Buddy becomes more serious.
BUDDY
You better get used to your emotions.
There are a lot of sad, old people
in that place, and they don't always
cope well with fans, even when they're
bartenders.
JILL
And you say that Duke Taylor lives
there? When I was jogging, I thought
I recognized him yesterday, but he
was in a limousine.
BUDDY
Well, it's like this. When Duke's
wife died, he made a choice. He
could live alone in splendor, or he
could live near his friends. So, he
does his business dealings in the
limousine and at his office, but he
lives his life at Crestview.
GRAHAM
Excuse me, Jill. I'd like a Gin and
Tonic. I usually call it a G&T, but
I didn't know if you'd heard the
term.
JILL
With ice or lemon?
GRAHAM
On the rocks with a twist would be
fine.
JILL
(to Buddy)
What I can get you?
BUDDY
Hmm...I like variety. What's your
favorite drink, Jill?
Jill blushed.
JILL
Sex on the beach.
BUDDY
That sounds great. I'll take it.
Jill goes off to the back to find a can of tonic.
GRAHAM
I got a call from England this week.
It seems that one of my old movies
was being remade for a television
mini-series, and they want to have
me narrate it. At least six weeks
work.
BUDDY
Do you have an agent there anymore?
I thought Bobby died.
GRAHAM
He did, but his agency set me up
with a new solicitor, Ian, who's
hired a barrister to do the
negotiation of the contract for me.
Nelly's tickled. It'll be enough to
take a great vacation this Christmas.
Jill returns from the back.
JILL
Here's your G&T, Mr. Ellis.
GRAHAM
Call me Graham.
JILL
Thank you.
GRAHAM
Thank you.
Graham takes a sip.
GRAHAM
Ahh.
Jill goes into motion making Buddy's drink. She squeezes
every type of fruit from the bar onto a plastic sword and
drops it in the drink.
JILL
There. Finished.
Buddy's smile fades.
JILL
What's wrong, Buddy?
Buddy takes a sip.
BUDDY
Very good. I like sex on the beach.
BUDDY
(to Graham)
Here's to you Graham. I'm going to
miss you. Cheers.
GRAHAM
It's only six weeks, Buddy.
GRAHAM
(to all, in a toast)
Here's to you, and to Duke, wherever
he is. Cheers.
BUDDY
Cheers.
They both sip off their drinks.
BUDDY
So how long before you leave? Do
you get time to pack?
GRAHAM
I have to be in London next week,
then a week home before shooting.
Nelly will be coming with me. That
was part of my contract.
BUDDY
Well, when the work comes, you work.
I always did.
BUDDY
(to Jill)
So, what do you do for fun?
JILL
I read and do crosswords. If I can
find a partner, I play pinochle.
Every morning, I go for a walk and
get my groceries. All other time, I
work on my dissertation. Not the
most wonderful existence, but it
keeps me from going crazy.
BUDDY
Crosswords? You do the Times?
JILL
Every day. If I get stuck, I cheat
with my computer.
GRAHAM
You can cheat on a crossword with a
computer?
Jill pulls her laptop out from under the bar. She types on
it and gets her spell checker, then turns it around to show
what she's doing as she's doing it.
JILL
Well, let's say I'm looking for a
nine letter word, all I have blank E
blank blank C blank blank E blank.
I just put question marks in for
each of the blanks, with the letters
as given, and then ask my spelling
checker to suggest words. Voila! A
list. Then I find the word that
meets the hint, in this case, 'To
pledge or commit.' I find the word
DEDICATE and fill it in.
GRAHAM
That is cheating.
JILL
Not really. Puzzles aren't made by
people who play fair. They use
computers to make puzzles. And I
didn't look up the whole puzzle to
find a single word, which really
takes the fun out of crosswords for
you see too many answers.
BUDDY
True. So, where do you shop for
groceries?
JILL
You know that Von's about half a
mile from here? There's an espresso
trolley out front.
BUDDY
Tell you what. I'll meet you there
for coffee on Monday morning. We'll
do the puzzle together.
FX: Door Bell
JILL
Sounds like fun. What time?
BUDDY
Is eight too early?
A couple that sat down at a nearby table.
JILL
(to the couple)
I'll be right there, Ma'am.
JILL
(to Buddy)
I'll be right back.
Jill heads off to the couple at the table.
Graham let out a long, low whistle.
GRAHAM
Smooth as ever.
BUDDY
What?
GRAHAM
You got a date with that girl. That's
fantastic.
BUDDY
She's just a kid.
GRAHAM
I've known you too long. She's old
enough, and she knows what she wants.
BUDDY
A crossword puzzle. It's nothing.
GRAHAM
A crossword puzzle with you. Its
not nothing to her. That's a date.
BUDDY
She's beautiful, brilliant, and likes
things I like. Why not?
GRAHAM
I'm not stopping you. I'm just
impressed.
BUDDY
Look, if I had someone like Nelly at
home, I probably wouldn't bother.
GRAHAM
No, you wouldn't. But what a catch.
I hope you have some fun.
BUDDY
I hope so too.
FADE OUT
FADE IN:
EXT. AT THE NEWSPAPER TROLLEY -- DAY
ZEYDA REUBEN
How can you say we're blessed? We're
working a poor newspaper stand.
IZZY
You live in a million dollar house
and you're complaining that your
newsstand is poor, but you won't let
me upgrade it to a proper aluminum
trailer.
ZEYDA REUBEN
It wouldn't be traditional. No one
would recognize us. It would be
like Moses again; many people
wandering lost in the wilderness.
IZZY
That's why we'd have to advertise...
ZEYDA REUBEN
No...
IZZY
And pay for a sign.
ZEYDA REUBEN
NO!
IZZY
Papa. How can you say that?
ZEYDA REUBEN
Word of mouth. It is the best
advertising. It's free and it gets
results.
IZZY
Sure it works, because we haven't
changed a thing in fifty years, but
our readership is dying out.
ZEYDA REUBEN
I'm still here, and until it is no
longer my stand, there will be no
upgrades and no sign. After I'm
gone, what can I do?
Buddy approaches.
IZZY
Just make me feel guilty for the
rest of my life.
ZEYDA REUBEN
Nonsense. You'll change everything
you want then. If your mother, may
she rest in peace, had been here,
she would have upgraded.
IZZY
She told me that all her life. You
said, "No," to the day she died.
ZEYDA REUBEN
What did she know about business?
She worked the home.
BUDDY
Your Mother was a wonderful woman...
IZZY
(interrupting)
...only to die of cancer. God, what
did she ever do to suffer so much.
BUDDY
Smoke?
ZEYDA REUBEN
Like a fiend. I told her to stop,
but she wouldn't.
BUDDY
I still smoke cigars, but not
constantly.
IZZY
Me to.
ZEYDA REUBEN
I smoked when I first met her, but,
in time, it wasn't profitable...or
affordable.
BUDDY
You have to watch your expenses.
ZEYDA REUBEN
Which is why we don't advertise or
upgrade.
ZEYDA REUBEN
(to Izzy)
See? Buddy's on my side.
BUDDY
No.
IZZY
You hear that? He said, "No."
ZEYDA REUBEN
Ah. And what does he know about
business.
BUDDY
I know a lot about advertising.
It's how an actor becomes a star.
You have to invest wisely, for
advertising can boost sales a hundred-
fold.
ZEYDA REUBEN
You didn't pay for a sign that had
your name on it.
IZZY
Don't you remember, Papa, the
billboards on Sunset Boulevard?
Buddy Dalton in "Rise of the Cleaver."
BUDDY
Oh God. I hoped no one saw that
movie.
IZZY
I saw it last night. It's a classic.
BUDDY
If you like 'B' movies.
ZEYDA REUBEN
Here's your paper.
BUDDY
Thank you. Still fifty cents.
IZZY
For now.
ZEYDA REUBEN
We heard a rumor that it was going
to sixty cents due to petrol costs.
BUDDY
Everything's changing.
IZZY
Yeah, Evan wrote that his fiancee is
pregnant.
BUDDY
I'm meeting a new woman for coffee
myself.
ZEYDA REUBEN
A new woman! What line do I have to
stand in for one of those? I didn't
know they made new women. The only
ones I ever see are old women.
IZZY
With your attitude? You're lucky
you see any women.
ZEYDA REUBEN
(mumbling as he's
leaving to back of
stand.)
And I'll have a great grandchild
that's a gentile. Oy.
Kush meer in toches.
IZZY
Papa!
IZZY
(to Buddy)
Bye Buddy. I'll see you tomorrow.
BUDDY
Bye.
Buddy exits
IZZY
(going off camera)
Papa. Papa? Papa.
Izzy exits.
FADE OUT
FADE IN:
EXT. ESPRESSO TROLLEY OUTSIDE OF A GROCERY STORE -- DAY
Jill sits with her coffee, working her way through the
crossword.
Buddy approaches.
JILL
You're early. I thought you said
eight?
BUDDY
I thought I would get here early so
you'd be here at eight, and I could
buy you coffee.
JILL
Too late.
Jill slides a second cup off from her cup and hands it to
Buddy.
JILL
It's paid for. Go get yourself a
cup. You can treat next time.
Buddy goes to get himself some coffee.
JILL
What's two words for 'portable Chinese
food?' Seven letters.
BUDDY
Hmm. Egg Roll?
JILL
Begins with a 'T.'
BUDDY
You didn't tell me that. Uhm...how
about take-out?
JILL
That works.
Buddy sits down with Jill and opens his paper.
BUDDY
You mind if we share a crossword?
JILL
Whatever you like. Mind if I smoke?
Buddy shakes his head "no."
JILL
You like cigars?
BUDDY
You like cigars? Here, let me treat.
Buddy pulls a pair out of his pocket.
BUDDY
It's the least I can do this morning.
Jill looks at him quizzically.
BUDDY
Well, since you paid for coffee.
Jill accepts this, then takes the cigar from Buddy.
Buddy watches Jill intently.
Jill looks at the brand appraisingly, opens the tube, fishes
a cutter from her pocket, smells the cigar, decides on an
end and chops it off, and then hands the cutter to Buddy.
JILL
Here. Use mine.
Buddy looks amazed, then does the same for his cigar.
Jill pulls out a lighter and puffs on hers, then turns to
Buddy.
JILL
Allow me.
Buddy puffs his cigar as Jill lights it for him.
Jill draws deeply on her cigar and closes her eyes and
exhales.
JILL
Ahh...now that's a good cigar.
Jill opens her eyes to find Buddy staring at her.
JILL
What?
BUDDY
Its just not often that I meet anyone
who enjoys a stogie these days.
Everyone's so anti-smoking, it's
almost impossible to smoke.
JILL
You think you have problems? Come
by the University some day. It's a
Smoke-Free campus. This is, by far,
the best place anymore. I get my
four C's here. Coffee, crosswords,
cigars...
BUDDY
What's the fourth C?
JILL
Company. Today its definitely
company. On some morning, however,
it's chaos, or children, or crowds...I
leave it open, for I never know what's
happening until I get here.
BUDDY
Children...you have any?
JILL
Nope. None at all. Sometimes I
babysit for my sisters.
Jill drinks the last of her coffee, then stands.
JILL
I'm going back for a refill. Here's
the puzzle. What's next?
Buddy scans the crossword, then looks up to gaze at Jill
from behind.
BUDDY
(to himself)
Beautiful.
JILL
What's that?
BUDDY
Oh, nothing...here's one, 57 Down.
Forces in World War II. Six letters.
JILL
United?
BUDDY
Uhm...the second letter is an 'L.'
JILL
Bloody?
BUDDY
That doesn't sound right.
JILL
How about 'Allied?'
BUDDY
Let's try that. 56 Across. Father.
DAD. That works.
Buddy scribbles in his answer with a pen.
JILL
You use a pen to do crosswords?
BUDDY
Sometimes. It's all I have today.
My mechanical's out of lead.
JILL
Here, use mine.
Jill hands Buddy a mechanical pencil, then looks around at
people staring at Buddy.
JILL
So, you want to stay here?
BUDDY
Where else can we go?
JILL
Why not walk back to my place? It's
not too far. Do you play cards?
BUDDY
Sure. I've nothing better to do.
JILL
Oh, I probably need to study this
afternoon, but I can blow this
morning.
Jill smiles and winks.
BUDDY
Okay. let's go.
They gather their stuff and leave.
FADE OUT
FADE IN:
INT. THE ELLIS'ES APARTMENT, SPIC AND SPAN CLEAN. THE
TELEVISION IS ON, BUT WITH THE SOUND MUTED. -- DAY
Llewellyn is sitting on the couch.
Hedda is also on the couch.
Doris, who is rocking on the un-expanded recliner, has a
bucket with sponges and cleaners next to her.
Nelly, sitting in the other rocker/recliner, leans forward
to touch a tea decanter that's on the coffee table, which is
next to a plate of scones, a plate of biscuits, and a
selection of jams.
NELLY
More tea anyone?
LLEWELLYN
I brought biscuits and jam. Does
anyone want one?
HEDDA
I brought buttered scones.
DORIS
Dear me. All I brought was sponges
and cleaners.
NELLY
Doris, you're the most important one
here. I couldn't have cleaned without
you.
Doris stirs her tea. Nelly takes a bite from her scone.
LLEWELLYN
Nelly, tell me. What's the plan?
Are you going this week?
Nelly finishes chewing.
NELLY
(to Hedda)
Mmm...these are great, Hedda.
NELLY
(to Doris)
No, Doris, Graham's going off this
week, then he'll be back for a week
so we can pack a bit.
NELLY
(to all)
You know my daughter's in Liverpool,
and I want to take her my
grandmother's china. I don't know
when I'll see her next, so I think
it's time.
Nelly's eyes turn moist.
NELLY
I'll miss them about me, but I think
it's time to entrust them to the
next generation.
LLEWELLYN
Nelly, I must tell you. I did that
last year, and afterward, I felt a
great relief because I no longer had
the responsibility to keeping the
darned things. I never used them
once when I owned them. I never
enjoyed them as they were meant to
be used, so I felt such relief once
I took them to my son's house.
Llewellyn dabbed at her eyes.
LLEWELLYN
My son's wife, however, cleaned them
and had a meal on them before I left.
I felt like a child again, as if
standing with my mother just as I
washed them. Afterward, we put the
china back into storage for another
generation.
Doris winked at Nelly.
NELLY
(to Doris)
That's a great idea! I'll have to
plan on it when I get to Liverpool.
I'll be staying with them for those
days when Graham's shooting. I
haven't even met my newest Great-
Granddaughter, who is turning five
while we're there.
NELLY
(to all)
You know, it's going to be a while
before we chat again.
HEDDA
You can reach us on the internet.
NELLY
The internet? I doubt if I'll ever
use that thing.
Nelly paused in reflection.
NELLY
But maybe my Granddaughter Chelsie
can show it to me, if I get to see
her. She uses it all the time at
Oxford.
LLEWELLYN
That's not unreasonable. My grandson
says he's going to buy me a computer
so I can talk to him every day. He
says we can see and talk at the same
time.
DORIS
I wonder if Sean Connery has one.
I'd like to see him for a chat.
NELLY
I'll bet you would.
DORIS
A girl can dream, can't she?
HEDDA
All of us still do!
All laugh.
DORIS
Isn't that Duke on TV?
Everyone looks up to see a picture of Duke Taylor as he looked
in his prime. Nelly fumbles with the volume controls.
ANNOUNCER
...and there's still no word on his
condition, but his family was at his
side when the heart attack hit.
Taylor, a long time action hero of
the movies, has been shot a million
times, but his health has taken a
few blows in recent years, with a
stroke only five years ago.
NELLY
I need to wake Graham. He'll want
to know.
HEDDA
You go ahead dear. We'll tidy up
and let ourselves out.
LLEWELLYN
Yes.
HEDDA
(to Nelly)
Thank you for this wonderful party.
I'm going to miss you.
Nelly hugs Hedda, then Doris, and then Llewellyn.
NELLY
I couldn't have asked for better
friends. Thank you all so much.
Nelly hurries off down the back hall.
FADE OUT
FADE IN:
INT. JOE'S BAR. -- NIGHT
Jill stands at the bar with Buddy. It's a slow night, but
there are a couple of tables with drinkers and smokers. The
television is muted, but a football game flashes on the
screen.
BUDDY
Duke's not doing so well. They did
a number of tests on him, but the
fact is, he's old, and the techniques
that could save a young man might
kill him.
JILL
My manager had me send him a card
and some flowers. Graham helped me
get past the security.
BUDDY
One of the problem with being a
celebrity.
Duke sipped his drink, grimaced, and then looked at it.
BUDDY
What did you call this again?
JILL
A Prefrontal Lobotomy. It's the
rage of the day. One shot each of
Ouzo, rum, peppermint schnapps,
cinnamon schnapps, and tequila, over
ice.
BUDDY
And you expect me to be able to walk
home after this?
JILL
No, I expect you to let me drive you
home after work. This makes sure
you're still here.
BUDDY
Thanks, kid.
BUDDY
Buddy took another sip off the glass, grimaced again, and
put it down.
BUDDY
Ahh...that's a weird taste. But I
like it.
FX: Door Bell
Graham enters the bar.
BUDDY
(to Graham)
You're late.
GRAHAM
(to Buddy)
Nelly and I went to play miniature
golf this morning, and then we went
shopping for new clothes.
GRAHAM
(to Jill)
One...
Jill places a full, frosted glass on the bar.
JILL
...G&T. I thought you might come in,
and I wanted to be ready.
GRAHAM
Such service!
Graham grabs the glass, holding back the straws, and downs
half of it quick.
GRAHAM
Ahh...what a day. I spent most of
this evening at meetings at the Four
Seasons Beverly Hills.
BUDDY
We should have joined you for drinks
there.
BUDDY
Does Nelly still think that I don't
know you play miniature golf?
GRAHAM
She's pretty sure that if you went
there, you'd pick up young women.
JILL
Too late.
BUDDY
(to Graham)
So, how long until you fly out?
GRAHAM
Tuesday. We're still signing
contracts. Ian's got me two other
jobs, now that it's been told 'round
that's I'm hot property again.
BUDDY
You were always hot property. It's
just this business. Time passes,
some other fish leaps out from the
ocean, and everyone looks away.
Buddy colors slightly.
BUDDY
Give me a hug, old friend.
Buddy's eyes glaze as he gazes at Jill and smiles, then puts
down his drink and hugs his friend.
BUDDY
I'm going to miss you, but I know
this was what you need.
JILL
Can I get one of those when you're
done with Graham?
Buddy turns to Jill and hugs her.
BUDDY
We have had some fun together, haven't
we?
GRAHAM
This is wonderful. I was worried
about you.
BUDDY
Ahh, you know me. I make friends
fast.
GRAHAM
He makes friendships that last.
Take care of this one, and you'll
never have need for another.
JILL
We're just friends.
GRAHAM
But, he needs a woman in his life.
Buddy groans inwardly.
BUDDY
You're embarrassing me, Graham. I
didn't think that was possible.
Graham colors slightly.
GRAHAM
I'm sorry, but you two seem to be
right for one another. Who cares
about age. It's not being alone
that I care about.
A woman waves at Jill from another table.
JILL
Oops, I gotta go.
Jill hurries off.
GRAHAM
Well, if something happens, it
happens.
BUDDY
It's already happened.
GRAHAM
You're joking.
BUDDY
Not only that, but my Doctor put me
on Viagra without a thought, telling
me that he often wondered why I'd
never asked for it. Guess I never
needed it as often.
GRAHAM
Often? How often?
BUDDY
Once or twice a day since last week.
I feel like a kid again.
GRAHAM
I'm envious.
Jill walks back to the bar.
JILL
I'm enjoying it too.
Jill slides behind the bar.
Buddy and Graham blush.
JILL
Don't worry. It's fine.
BUDDY
You weren't supposed to hear this.
JILL
Too late.
GRAHAM
Ahh...well...anyway, can I get a
packet of Salt and Vinegar chips for
Nelly?
JILL
Sure. They're in back. Nice way to
get rid of me.
Jill heads off into the back of the bar.
BUDDY
She's really a wonderful gal. Smart,
witty, funny. Sometimes I think we
have too much in common.
GRAHAM
Nonsense. If she's good for you,
and you're good for her, maybe she's
the one.
BUDDY
Right. At my age, I was meant to
fall in love with a young woman.
GRAHAM
It could happen.
Jill returns from the back room with a bag of salt and vinegar
chips.
JILL
Still talking about me, huh? I don't
know about you two.
The TV flashes an image of Duke on the screen. Buddy notices
first and points it out to Graham.
Jill is oblivious of the screen.
JILL
(to Graham)
Here are those chips.
Graham....Graham? Buddy?
BUDDY
Duke just died.
FADE OUT
FADE IN:
INT. JILL'S APARTMENT -- DAY
Jill and Shelly are sitting on a couch, watching TV, as Melody
is rocking on the rocker.
SHELLY
Oh, look. There's Duke's funeral.
JILL
What a fraud. The people showing
up, you'd think it was the Oscars®.
SHELLY
Did Buddy go?
JILL
No. He was pretty upset this morning,
but he asked me to let him have some
private time.
SHELLY
And that's when you went to the
doctor?
MELODY
You played doctor? My friend Bobby
and I played doctor last week. It
was weird.
SHELLY
She now knows what the differences
are between little boys and little
girls.
MELODY
Boys are ugly. Yuck.
JILL
Slugs and snails and puppydog tails?
MELODY
Is that what that means? Slugs and
snails? Hmm.
SHELLY
It's called a metaphore.
MELODY
A what?
SHELLY
It's something that you say when you
want to mean something else.
MELODY
Like when Grandma says she has to go
powder her nose when she really needs
to poop.
JILL
Exactly.
MELODY
Mommy. I need to go powder my nose.
SHELLY
Okay. You know where it is.
Melody exits.
SHELLY
So, why the doctor visit?
JILL
Well, I was feeling really different.
SHELLY
New love can do that.
JILL
I know what love feels like. This
was different.
FX: Bathroom door closes.
SHELLY
So what did your doctor say.
JILL
That I'm pregnant.
SHELLY
SHIT!
MELODY (O.S.)
No! Powder your nose! It's a
Metaphore.
JILL
I'm actually ready for it.
SHELLY
It's Buddy's?
JILL
Who else? Besides, he's dreamy.
He's creative and fun, and a hell of
a conversationalist.
SHELLY
Is he rich?
JILL
Not that that matters, but he's well
invested in Vegas real estate.
FX: A toilet flushes.
JILL
(in reflection)
He's like Duke. Spending his time
with friends. I understand loneliness
a lot better now, and it's made an
interesting case for my sociology
dissertation.
FX: A sink turns on.
SHELLY
Growing old?
JILL
Retirement communities. They're
micro-societies and although often
ignored, they have a definitive impact
on society as a whole. There's a
ton of new data as suburban
communities all over the country
have become new beacons for
retirement.
SHELLY
So, how are you going to tell him?
JILL
Buddy? I have to work tonight and
he's supposed to meet me there.
FX: Sink turns off and door opens.
MELODY
I have to work tonight with My Buddy,
too.
SHELLY
We have a meeting with her agent.
It looks like she might get a part
in a weekly TV show.
MELODY
Everything happens in Hollywood.
JILL
You're not kidding.
SHELLY
That's her agent's line.
SHELLY
(in a whisper)
She says it all the time.
MELODY
Well, at least I'm working.
SHELLY
(in a whisper)
That's the other line she says all
the time. It's annoying.
JILL
Well, Melody, do you think you might
have time to do babysitting?
MELODY
What do you mean, Auntie Jill?
SHELLY
She's going to have a baby.
MELODY
(in wide-eyed wonder)
Wow! I can come over tomorrow!
JILL
Not that soon.
SHELLY
(to Jill)
Have you told Mom and Dad?
JILL
Nope. I'll do that tomorrow, after
I tell Buddy.
SHELLY
I wonder how he'll take it.
JILL
I don't know.
FADE OUT
FADE IN:
INT. DUKE'S APARTMENT WITH PILES OF EMPTY BOXES ALL AROUND --
DAY
Robert sits in one of the last uncovered chairs, talking to
Buddy, and holding an Oscar®.
ROBERT
I don't know what I need to do with
this. I saw that hullabaloo when
someone was trying to sell one a few
years ago, then Steven Spielburg
bought it and returned it to safety.
Do I need to return it now?
BUDDY
Just call the AMPAS office, tell
them your situation, ask for what
they want you to do with it and if
you can keep it. I'm sure they will
be gratified that you thought high
enough of their standards to call,
and they'll probably work out
something.
Robert hands the Oscar to Buddy, who looks it over.
BUDDY
I'd just like another chance to earn
one.
ROBERT
You don't have one?
BUDDY
Oh, I bought a little one from a
souvenir shop when I first came to
town, but I never did get a real
one. Too many action films came my
way. It was work, but not quality
work.
Buddy smiles.
BUDDY
Your Dad did better than me on that
level.
ROBERT
Well, I always thought you were a
better actor, if it matters. It's
too hard to watch a film, thinking,
'Don't you hit my daddy!' all the
way through the picture.
Buddy sets the statue down.
BUDDY
So, what were you going to do with
all this stuff?
ROBERT
Beats me. I always was bugged that
I didn't have any brothers or sisters,
but at this one moment, I am so
grateful that I don't have anyone
here trying to fight over who gets
what.
Robert gestures around the room.
ROBERT
Do you want anything to remember
him?
Buddy looks around.
The walls are covered with photographs and trinkets.
Against one wall is a pipe that Duke had used in a Sherlock
Holmes picture.
Buddy goes to the pipe and lifts it off its stand.
BUDDY
In all the years that we didn't work
together, there was only one picture
where we did. Unfortunately, I was
the bad guy. This was the pipe that
he smoked in all the scenes, which
was funny as heck at the time, for
he didn't smoke.
Buddy puts the pipe up to his nose to smell it.
BUDDY
I remember one day on the picture,
the script called for him to inhale,
then say the ever intoned line,
'Watson, it's elementary.' They did
the take about twenty times, but
he'd get a coughing jag and couldn't
say the line.
ROBERT
I never heard this. What did they
do?
BUDDY
The director was so absolutely set
on the thought, they finally moved
the camera to face Watson, as if
Holmes was looking at him, and then
had someone else exhale the smoke,
making it look like the camera was
Holmes, that the smoke was from him,
and then let your dad say his line.
ROBERT
For that story, you can keep it. I
have one at home. He bought it for
me when the picture came out. Mom
had someone make us identical Sherlock
Holmes outfits. We'd go around with
our pipes and our magnifying glasses,
searching for clues. Mom...I miss
her. Take care of Dad.
Robert starts to weep.
Buddy stands and leaves.
FADE OUT
FADE IN:
INT. JOE'S BAR -- NIGHT
Jill is at the bar, drying glassware and putting it away.
Pamela comes in from the back.
JILL
You look happy. So what did you do
on your trip?
PAMELA
Rode roller coasters. From Valencia
and Anaheim through Stateline to Las
Vegas, we rode every roller coaster
in California, Nevada, Utah, Idaho,
Washington, and Oregon. We rode
them all. What a rush!
JILL
So, as the foregone expert in western
roller coasters, which one's the
best?
PAMELA
Good question. But as the article's
not done, I can't talk about it.
It'll be in the Sunday Times.
PAMELA
Anything exciting happen while I was
gone?
JILL
Well, you heard about Duke.
PAMELA
Yes. That was too bad. He was such
a sweet guy.
Pamela starts drying glasses as well.
JILL
And Graham's gone, too.
Pamela stops.
PAMELA
Graham's dead?
JILL
No...no...no...he's working as an
actor again...well...as a narrator
anyway. Nelly was pretty pleased
about it. They're in London for a
couple months, or until the work
stops. Apparently he's hot property
again, according to his agent.
Pamela returns to drying glasses.
PAMELA
Nelly. She's a sweety. Once in a
while they'd both come in for G&T's.
She'd tell me about her daughter and
granddaughter, show me the latest
pictures of them, and how she misses
them. At least she'll be home.
Anything else that's exciting?
JILL
Uhm...I'm pregnant?
Pamela suddenly drops the glass she was drying. It shatters
on the floor.
PAMELA
How....who...how do you know?
JILL
Well...the how is kinda obvious.
The who is Buddy Dalton...and the
when was after my pregnancy tester,
and then my doctor, said so.
PAMELA
Buddy Dalton? But he's almost eighty?
JILL
He's a wonderful guy. And great in
bed. You'd be surprised as hell.
PAMELA
Does he know?
JILL
He will. I'm hoping he shows up
tonight.
FADE OUT
FADE IN:
INT. BUDDY'S APARTMENT -- NIGHT
In his room, Buddy looks around to all his images and
memories. He goes to the hat stand and grabs his coat, then
turns one last time to look at the room. A lifetime of
friendships and dreams, but the questioning loneliness of
death still lingers.
INT. HALLWAY -- NIGHT
Buddy walks the hall to the end, taking the elevator down.
INT. CRESTVIEW RETIREMENT COMMUNITY FOYER -- NIGHT
Buddy goes out to the street.
EXT. STREET VIEW FROM CRESTVIEW TO JOE'S BAR. -- NIGHT
People shuffle by, some looking, others just ignoring. The
streets are filled with cars, all moving slowly, as if the
world has somehow come to mourn all at once.
Joe's Bar is in view, barely three buildings away. All these
people walking around Buddy, and yet he is totally alone.
BUDDY
I don't understand. God, if you're
out there, what the hell do you want
me to do?
With two buildings to go, Buddy's anguish is magnifying.
Tears stream from his face.
As Buddy stands before the door, his hands shake as a slight
sigh escapes his lips.
INT. JOE'S BAR
The door opens, and he sees Jill.
Jill waves.
Buddy doesn't wave back.
Jill comes to Buddy, seeing his pain.
Jill hugs and comforts him.
Buddy cries, silent as a man.
BUDDY
I love you. You're the only person
left in my life.
JILL
I love you, too. But I have something
wonderful to tell you. I'm pregnant.
Buddy's eyes fill with tears.
BUDDY
Oh God....Look at me. I'm an old
man. How can I take care of our
child? I'll be dead soon.
JILL
Buddy, will you marry me?
BUDDY
Marry you? I should never have been
with you. Oh God.
JILL
Buddy! I'm serious. I don't care
about age, I don't care about youth.
I only care about you.
Jill hugs Buddy and kisses him.
JILL
Move in with me, live with me, marry
me. We'll be a family as long as we
can. Don't think about death. Think
about life. Our life, and the one
growing inside me. Buddy, I need
you. Marry me.
Buddy's tears blend with a smile that gradually emerges.
BUDDY
Will you have me?
JILL
Yes!
PAMELA (O.S.)
(to Jill)
Yo! Take the week off. You've earned
it.
JILL
You want to go to Nevada and get
married tonight?
BUDDY
I don't have a car.
JILL
I do. Let's go.
Buddy follows Jill out through the back of the bar as fast
as he can go.
EXT. PARKING LOT BEHIND JOE'S BAR. -- NIGHT
Jill approaches her car as she gets her keys out.
Buddy follows as best as he can.
Jill unlocks her door and slides into the driver's seat,
then reaches over and unlocks his door.
