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Past Diary Logs |
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14th April 2003 |
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Following an intense, sweaty lofting session with MRPONDEXTER, (hereafter referred to as P) in which he informed me of his hatred for me, which has a self-confessed, minimal founding and also in which we put the world and Diadem to rights, I was musing over a comment P had made. No, no, not the hatred part, I'm used to that, but he had told me how he'd enjoyed the old Diary. We thought it was about time it was brought back, to remind everyone of just how good Diadem can be! So here it is... |
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I wandered into the room, hoping to gleam enough gossip about the night's chat to make the very first new Diary log. I wasn't disappointed! Stood at the forefront, near the window, was GinaPelleena, grinning gleefully and revealing the punchlines to some hapless chatter's hapless jokes. I believe one of them was the blonde's "breathe in, breathe out" tape recording gag which has been paraded around ever so frequently. I think the poor girl's dismayed "I haven't finished telling the joke yet!" got more LOL's than the actual joke! |
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All of a sudden, P decided it was a good idea to give me a hard kick, and urged all the others to join in. I can only assume this was another version of P's hatred for me and that he had decided, seeing as though words weren't hurting me, he was bloody well going to break some bones while he was at it. "Becs is our scape goat" he cried. Lemonpea got a little confused and rambled on about an "escape goat" for a few minutes, but I think the noise of Kewlio panting from the cellar scared Lemonpea and the subject of goats was swiftly dropped. P then left the room for some mysterious reason. |
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Lilmisssexy x x's poor POOR spelling left us damning her "comboard" (keyboard) to Hull. I personally damned it to the bungalow in which I was subjected to 8 weeks of torture by hair while on teaching practice. Regaling the room with tales of piles of black curlies left by the exact double of Bin Ladan (and his mate), in the shared bathroom and on the shared kitchen surfaces, meant the dia-bucket was needed and faces became a rather violent shade of lime green for a short while. |
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This came to a sudden stop as someone made a totally tasteless and therefore definitely Diademic joke about Bin Ladan. The jokee was immediately pounced upon by AnnajDalton, who called for some taste and thought in the room. The jokee remained steadfastly silent, but Gina rushed in and suggested to Anna that taste was not a Diadem ethic and perhaps she should frequent News Chat instead. Things were getting heated, and I had just started to set up a boxing ring, when Gina diffused the situation in her very own style, by making a short sequence of typo's, picked up, of course, by her Pub Quiz Harranger.... <<evil grin>> She decided to thing about utopia, instead of thinking, like the rest of us, and then exclaimed that she was 5"? and would beat me up. The question mark was highly interesting but she refused to discuss it further with me. Touchy, eh? |
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As a quick diversion, P returned and christened me Smellybeckbeckpoopoo. Quite catchy, might make a good screen-name...
The sudden arrival of BobTheWonderSlug created a flurry of excitement. The mother of Bob, aka SlugBoy, is none other than the infamous Babelaw64 and she had left specific orders to beat the boy senseless were he to enter the room. We pounced, we kicked, i bit and paid the consequences by filling my mouth with a foul-smelling black sludge. Cursing, i ran to the cupboard to get the salt, but was stopped by Gina, who decided stapling him to the floor was a MUCH better idea. Babe, dear, i hope we did you proud! |
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P was obviously feeling a lack of attention was coming his way, as he suddenly enquired whether or not he was a train. After being assured that, no, he was not a train, being not long enough, having not enough power, nor enough people wanting to ride him, he then informed us that it was EvilSidney's birthday (it wasn't), allowing Cat and I to lapdance for Sid in celebration, before telling us all that he was in Gina's womb. I leapt around in triumph, shouting how i always KNEW those two were getting it on. Loud, long and resounding choruses of "EEEEEUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW" from Gina and "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" from P, however, appeared to dash my hopes. |
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My chat was rounded off that evening by P looking through the old Diary of Diadem and shedding a discreet tear. He commented on the release of tension he felt, post-sob, but as the room was filled with a noxious green gas from P's 'relaxation' of all bodily control, no-one else could reply. I left the room soon after, under the pretext that I wanted to get started on designing the new website. And then, right out of the blue, P told me that he LOVED ME! Maybe it was the fact that I was reinventing the Diary. However, the violence, the name calling, the victimisation is, I do declare, MR PONDEXTER's schoolboy form of showing his undying and unconditional love for me. Oh, P, this would have been so much simpler had you told me last year.....
<<waits for P's howls of anguish and whipped words of retaliation with a high level of amusement>> |
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Aye thang you...
P and Gina, for lighting the raging inferno
Hapless joke girl, out of sheer pity
EvilSidney, for missing Dei |
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