Shutting Doors

by Lyn Lumanlan Elloso

Weeks ago, I have been unbearably ill and no matter how much I tried, my body had given up on me even if my spirit was zealous to do work. My boss who was empathetic to my flagging condition, finally declared that I was unfit to work.

Despite my quick motion to rest, my respite was short-lived. The phone kept ringing and I had people coming at my home seeking help. I almost felt like a victim, trapped in my own doing, as I was unable to turn them away. After the last visit, I decided to call my parents to seek guidance. I was steadfast that this practice couldn�t go on anymore and I must learn how to say �no� from now on.

My father�s words were very clear, �this is your ministry, never tire out helping other people, and you will be blessed.� I felt guilty with my griping. I have been truly gifted and this is the only way I can repay my dues, by aiding others.

How many times have people knocked on your doors for assistance and you have turned them away? Do you remember when a sibling has asked for your help and you wouldn�t stop badgering to return the favour back? But when you asked for your parent�s assistance, did they ever collect? When will you do something good without asking for anything in return?

It seems that those questions are easy to answer coupled with justifications that are self-serving. The reality of it all is that it is in our nature to be tight-fisted when doing good of whatever form.

A couple of years ago, someone approached me for an immigration dilemma. I didn�t hesitate to prepare an appeal for her daughter. Before leaving, she asked how she could repay me and I answered to her, that some- day, she will return the favour back when someone seeks help. I have heard from a mutual friend that the appeal was granted but she never called back. Months thereafter, an issue of family reunification arose and I was yet to prepare an appeal for another per- son. I rang this mother whom I have helped to ask for the name of the current immigration manager in Auckland. Her reply was abysmal�no, she couldn�t give the name and asked me why I keep doing this for others. She even added with a lecture that I should ensure the credibility of the people who come to me before I help them.

I was truly flustered. I have never known this woman before she came to me and I did not care whether she was lying about her daughter�s story. What ever happened to the saying, �one good turn deserves another�? This experience has not stopped me from the pleasure of listening to people�s worries. I have realized not to expect something back, even a good deed.

In many cases, you have heard of reprehensible stories of other Filipinos and pretend to feel commiserate with their situations. However, pity is empty when you sit there and do nothing or worse, gossip about the juicy tale! Do we have any compassion at all?

We offer help but we expect rewards. It may not be monetary but oftentimes we pride ourselves with self-glorification. Others must know of our deeds, otherwise it is futile to serve without the recognition. I know of someone in the community who boasts well when she lends a hand, but the truth is, it is only to progress her business. The popular fa�ade and glitter of her profession brings about wounding everyone who gets close to her.

So why must we have compassion? Is not enough to give a pittance to one who seeks alms? Is a mere advice deficient to an anxious friend?

Compassion is not a matter of empty clich�. Compassion for others must lead to action, a commitment to help without conditions, not just giving an emotional reaction to some- one in need. Compassion does not censure actions; it does not single out specific people who are to be aided.

It is easy to shut our doors when we choose to, but think about those countless and sleepless nights when we were perturbed with a problem and someone came to res- cue. Little deeds can come along way and there may be no cash or thank you in return. However, if you are a believer, then the Lord will take care of you. The bible�s antidote is found in Galatians 6:9-10: �Let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap it if we do not lose heart. Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all.�

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