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Bonnie had to connect with Sweet Snow online. An e-mail wasn't fast enough and she didn't have the phone number of his current job location. She rushed into her apartment, dead bolted the front door, and threw her coat on the couch. She signed on her computer and typed in her password: BABY BLUE. Her hands shook as she entered the Single's Network. The logo, a champagne glass, flashed. Immediately, she looked to see who was on the forum. The list appeared and she could see many of the regulars were online: Cyberduck, Flyboy, Hairy Man, Madam, Rattlesnake, and TIGER. Sweet Snow wasn't there, but TIGER was, and Bonnie knew he was waiting for her. She pushed the escape button before he could page her. She turned on the CD player and "Foreigner" blared in her tiny apartment. With a couple clicks, she opened her e-mail program where she knew she couldn't be bothered by intrusions. She kicked off her new purple pumps, and rubbed her tired feet. The shoes hadn't been broken in enough, and she'd been on her feet lecturing to her classes all day. Sweet Snow had said he'd be online now. Why wasn't he in the forum? She'd have to settle for the next best thing. Quickly, she typed out an e-mail to him. To:
Sweet Snow
After sending the message, she entered the Women’s' Issue Forum. There were messages waiting for her and she read the first one about single women and 401K plans, part of a long message thread she'd started weeks ago. The Invite box popped up. It was him—TIGER. She hit the escape button. How does he get here so fast? What kind of hacker program does he have? She left the computer and turned on the stove, set the tea kettle on the flame, and pulled out a bag of Starbuck's Rose Hips tea from the canister, trusting its calming effects. When she took out her barrettes, her long black hair fell around her face. She pushed her bangs behind her ears, walked back to the computer, and typed onto the Sports forum. Maybe she could find Sweet Snow there, checking the basketball scores, and she'd never seen TIGER in this forum before. She checked the list. No luck, Sweet Snow wasn't there. To pass the time, she transported into the Specialty Tea Web site. Didn't seem to be any interesting postings tonight, except the one about a new French peppermint tea. She yawned and typed in the address to return to the Single's Forum. The kettle whistled. She went into the kitchen and poured hot water over the tea bag in her cup. She sipped the tea and scalded her tongue. "Damn," she said out loud. She set the cup down to let it cool and glanced back at the computer screen. The dialogue box was up. It was him, the man that called himself TIGER. The message read: Do you want me too? She flipped off the computer switch. Bonnie breathed in deeply and picked up her tea; the hot liquid splashed onto her hands. And she squeezed back tears. She put the cup down, ran cold water over her hands, and then went to her apartment window to look out at Seattle's cityscape. TIGER was out there; she knew he was close. He might be on a laptop at the park, he could be in his den at home, surrounded by the family he said he didn't have, he could be in his office—but he was out there. And he was stalking her. "Why?" she shouted.
Her acquaintance with this man started out innocently. Still innocent
on her part, she thought. She was surfing the Net, gathering information
for her project about technology and contemporary culture. Specifically,
the affects of the computer age on human relations. TIGER?
The man burst out of nowhere right onto her computer screen. He started
chatting, inviting her into his virtual room. She didn't know how
she was dragged into a conversation. But from that day forward, he
was everywhere and he had radar, aimed at her.
TIGER found her unlisted telephone number and hounded her. Just like the song she took her cybername from: it seemed like it would be all over for Baby Blue. She didn't want to change her cyber-nickname and lose her valuable contacts, and she couldn't notify them of her name change without tipping off TIGER. Stuck, trapped. Bonnie rebooted her computer to check her e-mail. She could have a message from Sweet Snow, her virtual lover. A smile came to her face when she remembered their beginnings. The first online dialogues between her and Sweet Snow, or Bill Matson in real life, had been about literature, travel, and life philosophies, and gradually they had drawn closer. Then there were phone calls and the attraction had turned into love, and they were in it deep. They still hadn't met. He was tied up with work obligations in Colorado and couldn't get away. But they were becoming more involved in their almost daily chat sessions. They both said it was crazy, you can't know someone online. You can't fall in love with someone's mind—without the body language. But it had happened. It was real for both of them. She thought about Bill constantly, wondering when their next conversation would be. On some days, they talked for hours online and when it was possible, on the phone. In between those times they sent e-mails back and forth, declaring their love for each other. From the open window, cool air blew on Bonnie, making her recognize that her temperature rose just thinking about Bill. There were three e-mails waiting for her. She looked through the senders. One from Sweet Snow, one advertising a new modem, and there he was again. An e-mail, the third one listed, and the sender was TIGER. She deleted it without opening it up. In the past, she had read them. And the e-mails all started with the sentence: I Want You. She opened Sweet Snow's e-mail.
To: [email protected]
She hit the print key, the message slid out of the printer, and she read it again. Her eyes misted over; she wanted him right next to her. The longing was almost too much sometimes, but she had to keep the faith. They would be together. He was the one person, the only person she let herself get close to. Her life was solitary and that was fine—until now. Was that guy bothering her? Oh, Bill if you only knew. He is everywhere. Everywhere I am. And then she realized Sweet Snow must not have received her most recent e-mail, or he would have responded. Even in this computer age e-mail had a lag time. She clicked on the reply button and began typing.
Darling,
Bonnie sent the message, and waited for the confirmation before shutting
down the computer. On the kitchen counter, her cold tea sat on a
paper towel. There was a time before TIGER. She thought back
to the peaceful past before she was a hunted animal.
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