Remember me? The big baby who had concerns about being able to handle it? Well, I wouldn't say I handled it with grace, but I was rewarded with a baby just the same...
Labor began Tuesday around 8:30 pm. I wasn't sure it was real, since I was just uncomfortable. I slept from 12-3 but then they were annoying enough that I couldn't sleep through it so I got up and watched tv...really bad talk shows and news reruns. I still wasn't sure what was going on. I had been to the OB that day and she said I was 2 cm and to walk around and maybe things would get going. I did go walking that afternoon. I did family genealogy work at a local cemetary... We had decided to induce on Saturday if I didn't go earlier and I had it firmly set in my mind that she was going to be born on Saturday or Sunday.
Joel (dh) went to work Wednesday, since I was just uncomfortable but not hurting and not sure what to think about it all. At 2, I had my first painful contraction, yelped, and called the nurse line with questions about the activities of the night before and possibly leaking fluid. It was the possibility of leakage that got them interested. They had me go in for a check at 4. Joel came home and loaded car with great enthusiasm despite my skepticism. Notice it took me one painful contraction to call on medical advice. No desire whatsoever from me to do this without their help.
They checked me out at the clinic, no fluid, maybe 3 cm dilated, and "probably not labor, go home." (The contractions had slowed.) The discharge I was having was just a real runny mucus. They were wrong about me not being in labor though. By 8, I was in tears from the pain. BACK LABOR SUCKS! I don't wish it on anyone. I spent most of the time at home draped over a sofa piece, with my knees on the floor and my back parallel to the floor. Joel applied hot towels to back, as well as pressure, which helped to a point. At the second outburst of tears, Joel called the hospital for the signal to come in. I was probably having contractions between 3 and 5 minutes apart and in all honesty probably not ready to go in by "the rules."
We were in the hospital and on the moniter by by 9, 3+ cm dilated. The doctor took one look at me and said it looked like I was going to go the distance but that I needed to sleep first. I had the option to go home but I wasn't about to go anywhere that drugs weren't readily available. The deciding factor was the fact that I probably wouldn't get any sleep at home and I could be helped to sleep at the hospital. The doctor let me settle in, (contractions were in suspended animation at this point) and then gave me morphine and a sedative to ensure I slept. It was 11 at this point and she did a quick internal before the drugs were administered. I was 4 cm and definitely not leaving the hospital without a baby. I called my mom at that point and was suddenly deathly afraid of the next 24 hours.
Sleep lasted until 3 am when I woke up with discomfort. The nurse chased me around for 45 minutes trying to get me to go back to bed. I told her I would but I was wide awake and feeling every pain, which made sleep not possible. She went and talked to the doctor who was insistent that labor without sleep was a really bad idea, so they gave me some more sedative, which allowed me to sleep til 6 am (sort of) when I got checked again. I was still around 4 and the contractions had slowed because of the drugs.
My mom arrived at this point and was in shock that I hadn't had her yet (my sister, grandma, and mom all had under 6 hour labors). Mom, Joel, and I walked and ate (again, I was chased around by the same nurse, this time she was armed with cereal and milk that she insisted I eat). The doctor suggested that I put a time limit on trying to start the labor naturally through walking. She was concerned that I would get tired again. In reality, she put a time limit on it. At 9, she came in and announced that she was going to check me and pop my bag. It was obvious she had looked at my birth plan, since at 6 the word pitocin came up and at 9, she changed her strategy based on my wishes to avoid pitocin (see below for more details). Three minutes later, at 9:03, I was in major pain. With the back labor, we knew we were doing the drug route but we wanted to wait until labor was truly reestablished before it went in.
By 10, I was having the intrathecal morphine. Much better. From 9:03 to 10 was the worst part. Nothing helped, not moving, not standing, not sitting.... No position felt good and it was just so frustrating to be able to do nothing to even feel one bit better. I was in tears and I am sure my mom and Joel felt pretty frustrated that they couldn't help me any. Joel finally just told the nurse to get the drugs. She wanted to hear it from me and kept asking me... I hurt so much I couldn't do anything but point at Joel and he used his firm doctor's voice to insist.
By 11, I was ready to push and quite unable to identify it for myself. I was shaking uncontrollably and couldn't believe that I could have gone from 5 to 10 already despite the fact that I had the undeniable feeling that I had to have a bowel movement. I probably was ready to push for about 15 minutes before the doctor came in and I didn't tell anyone I thought I was ready. I was leaning against Joel with every contraction and shaking uncontrollably. Without his support, I couldn't have remained standing.
Luckily, the doctor came in for a check and the fun began. She just wanted to see where I was and I decided I should tell her about feeling the need for a bm... I really had tried to analyze the feeling and concluded it wasn't an urge to push but a true need to use the toilet... The doctor said "Oh no, I'm not delivering any babies in the bathroom" and insisted I get up on the bed for a check. I was 10 cm, which shocked me when she asked me how I felt about pushing. Pushing really is a natural thing. She showed me once (sort of) and then said "so much for teaching you how. You got it."
I screamed through the whole pushing. It really helped me. With the first scream, our discussion of whether we thought we would or not came back. I didn't think I would, since I am not that sort at all... Everyone else in the room seemed to think it was kind of weird, but it worked for me. The next day Joel heard some people in the hall talking about "some woman who was screaming so loud... they must have been killing her." In retrospect, it's kind of funny. Joel said the nurses and the doctor exchanged "looks," but he was sure they had seen something like it before. One of the nurses did suggest I redirect my energy to pushing but told me to go for it when I managed to tell her that the screaming was helping. I found that the pushing was bearable for about the duration of a scream, then I breathed, and screamed and pushed again. Not a great system, but it worked and I don't really care if it gave the docs and nurses a story for the week.
Joel mostly just applied an ice cold washcloth to my face during the pushing and kept telling me that I was doing great and occasionally kissed my cheek. His voice and the cold washcloth were about all I focused on during the pushing.
Ariana was born at 12:19. No episitomy, just a small tear. Apgars were 9/9 despite the legnth of the labor and all. The no episiotomy was something I had in my birth plan. I only had three firm requests in the birth plan... only female care providers, no episiotomy, and meds. There was also an outline in case of a C. I really recommend limiting your birth plan to the essentials. It was so obvious that my doc had read it. I had also said that I wished to avoid pitocin if possible. When she popped my bag, she did so because of that request. She said normally she wouldn't pop the bag with a mom in back labor in the hopes that the baby would turn... in my case, however, we knew I was doing the drug thing and so she went ahead and popped it to comply with my wish to avoid pitocin if at all possible.
She also was the one to tell the nurse that an episitomy wouldn't be done. The nurse had all the equipment ready and was in the process of handing the instruments to the doctor when I heard the doctor explain that I didn't want an episiotomy. The nurse then spent the remainder of the time applying hot compresses to my perineum. The doctor also manually stretched the tissues for me. It all seemed to work, since I only had a small tear. I asked several times how we were doing during the pushing and the doctor said, she couldn't guarantee it but things looked good. I gotta admit, as I pushed, the idea of someone making the opening bigger did sort of appeal to me but then the whole notion of someone cutting me deliberately maintained my decision. Also, I knew that recovery would be better without the episiotomy. I didn't tear when the head came out but was physically unable to stop pushing when they told me to, so I tore as her shoulders emerged. Oh well. I apologized (funny, 'eh?) and said I just couldn't stop...
Ariana's birth story
continues....
