Fair Diary

Colored Pencil Drawing of Diana

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Fantasia Fair

The Universal Unitarian Church and the Pilgrim Monument in the background

October 16th

I made it up here to Provincetown yesterday through all of the rain. I came up here with a friend, we drove the inland route ( Massachusetts Turnpike and I-495 ) and it rained all the way with occasional downpours. Most of the time I could only go 55 – 60 due to hydroplaning, which made it a very long drive, but we made it. I didn’t do much all day because of the showers and also I am feeling still a little "under the weather" because of my illness.

Today the sun is out and all I plan on doing is registering for Fantasia Fair, go out to dinner and then to the cocktail party.

October 17th

I didn’t do much all morning and I went to registration at 2:00pm where I met many people that I know from passed Fan Fairs, afterwards I went back to the B & B (Carpe Diem Guesthouse) and took a nap until I went to dinner. I went over to dinner with some friends who were up here for women’s week. They had an efficiency room at a Motel in North Truro and we had spaghetti and meatballs. It was nice not to have to go out to a restaurant; I know that I will be eating out all week.

After I got back from dinner I went to the cocktail party at the Crown Point and stay to the end. I snuck out of the room where they were holding the party to a room upstairs that was cooler and quieter, I started a trend and there were about six of us fugitives up there.

On the way back from registration, I overheard a couple of tourists;
Husband: "There’s another tall woman. " ( Meaning me )
Wife: "Maybe there’s a bus tour for tall women in town. "
Me: Giggling

October 18th

Yesterday I skipped the Orientation Brunch and went and got a salad from the local Grand Union, I think it tasted a whole lot better than some cold scrambled eggs and bacon. Besides, I have been to the Orientation Brunch so many times I just about remember it by heart.

I went to the noon seminar called Transgenderism & Gender Diversity, at night I went to the dinner and the movie ( "Screaming Queens" ). The movie was a prerelease copy and it is about the Riot at Compton's Cafeteria is a one-hour documentary that tells the story of a little-known 1966 uprising. The riots were started when the police went to arrests the Drag queens, transvestites and transsexual that used to go and hang out at the Compton's Cafeteria. Back then it was against the law to crossdress and every once in awhile the police use to stage raids on the Tenderloin district of San Francisco. One night they had enough and fought day against the police, the movie was about that riot and the events that lead up to it. What I found interesting was that back then the religious community was backing the transgender community drive from civil rights. A lot different from what some of the very same church’s are doing today.

Afterward, I went back to the B & B and met up with my friends from COS who were playing Yahtzee and I joined them for a couple of games.

It is going to be a busy day ending in an Awards Banquet for the pioneers in the Transgender community. I want to got to the noon seminar, about political activism and later to another seminar called No-Ho/No-Op: Non-medical Transition.

October 19th

I didn’t do much yesterday except go to lunch and the noon talk about political activism. At night I went to Pioneer Awards Banquet where they gave awards to Nancy Nangeroni of Gender Talk and Joanna Law an activist from Canada. Joanna also gave the presentation at the Noon talk. I left the banquet early around ten even though some of them were out partying until two or three A.M. my energy levels are still low due to my earlier illness. So I am still moping about and taking it easy. I never did make it to the afternoon seminar; I went back to my room and read.

During the Noon presentation Joanna mentioned about the federal Hate Crimes Bill and that motivated me in to e-mail Senator Kennedy about it.

Dear Senator Kennedy

I would like to urge you to adopt the House version of the Hate Crimes bill language, with express protections for "gender identity".

As a transperson, even though I have not been a victim, I have seen first hand what hatred and intolerance has done to others. Here in Connecticut we have had a woman murdered in New Haven, she was stabbed repeatedly, her body was set on fire and the New Haven police department has labeled it a Hate Crime. Every November 20th I attend a "Day of Remembrance" to remember those of our transgender community that have been murdered and each year the list has been getting longer.

Please vote for the House version of the bill.

Thank you,
Diana L

October 20th

Yesterday’s noon presentation was just so-so, nothing to write home about. The best part of the day was dinner, I had a ½ of lobster stuffed with scallops and it was delicious! The night’s entrainment was the Fashion Show, which as usually was very good, in a campy sort of way. I always admire the participants for going up on stage, which is something I could never do. I think everyone had a good time both the audience and the participants. My only comment is TURN THE MUSIC DOWN! Maybe I am just getting old but I see no reason why the music has to be so loud, there is just no reason why it has to be so loud that when you leave you have ringing in your ears. You can’t have a conversation or make comments about a particular outfit or anything. It drowned out the MC’s and it was the same "Thump, thump de thump, thump" over and over again. Maybe teenagers like the music but I sure didn’t see any in the audiences. Well so much for my soapbox.

Today is was going to go to the Noon presentation by Mariette Pathy Allen on her book the "Gender Frontiers" and then to a presentation by Gordene Mackenzie called "50 Billion Galaxies of Gender" which sounds interesting.

October 21st

I had a good day yesterday, I went to the noon presentation given by Mariette Pathy Allen on her book the "Gender Frontiers", then to a presentation by Gordene Mackenzie called "50 Billion Galaxies of Gender" both were excellent and I enjoyed them both. Mariette’s showed a slide show from a collection of her work with the transgender community, I saw many of the slides before but there were a lot of new slides that made the show fresh and kept my interests. Gordene’s and Nancy’s seminar was also very good, I was going to leave early so I wouldn’t have to rush to get ready for the Cocktail Party but I stayed to the end.

Afterward, I rushed back to the B & B to change and meet everyone down in the common room waiting for me, talking to some other guests at the B & B doing Gender 101 explaining about Fantasia Fair. We then left for the Cocktail Party and when we got there it was already well under way. After the party we went to dinner at the Crown Point Inn and had another fabulous dinner. Everyone else head to another cocktail party but I was tired so I headed back to the B & B.

October 22nd

Yesterday I just went to the noon Keynote presentation and to the Follies at night. The presentation was about the Native Americans "Two Sprites" peoples and their histories. It was a very good talk and interesting. He went over the terminology and how various tribes though out North American dealt with trans people. How the western influence changed that culture.

After the talk I walked out to the pier with a couple of friends to see the sunken fishing boats. During the heavy rains last week one of the boats filled up with water and dragged the other boat that was tied up to it under. I bet the owner of the, to put it mildly, was not very happy with the owner of the boat that pulled it down. I can see some lawsuits come out of it.

Last night was also the night of the Fantasia Fair Follies and as usual for room was packed, not only with Fantasia Fair participants but also with town folk. It is probably the best entertainment all week. As usual the Follies crews did a wonderful job and put on a good show. The show got over around eleven and I headed back to the B & B, on the way I bumped into a couple of friends and I chatted with them for awhile before continuing my journey back to the B & B

At the B & B there were a couple of new guests, one of whom was a semi-retired physicist professors and we talked until one in the morning. One of the nice things I like about a B & B over a motel is the commons room where you get to talk to interesting people from around the world. This week there are people from Germany, England, Mexico, the Caribbean and from around the U.S. as well that stay at the B & B. it is just so stimulating to be able to talk to such a wide cross-section of people.

October 23rd

Ah....where to begin? Well I got back home safely and because of the four hour drive I took a nap, so now I ready to update the blog.

Yesterday the heavy rain held off for most of the day. I stayed around the B & B for the morning talking to the guests and reading the newspapers, then I went to lunch and afterward to the Noon presentation or as they call it, the "Keynote Address". Saturday's Keynote Address was really the "Gendertalk" talk radio show. They did their taped "Live Broadcast" from Fantasia Fair. The second half of the program they asked us to comment on the fair and of course I added my two cents about the fair ( Recorded LIVE at Fantasia Fair ). After the show I raced back to the B & B to change for the Awards Banquet.

The Awards Banquet is a long drawn out talkathon with a lot of back slapping. It starts at six-thirty with hors-d'oeuvre and dinner starts around eight. In between each course they give out an award to fair goers, Miss./Mr. Cinderella, Miss./Mr. Most Helpful, Miss./Mr. Congeniality, Miss./Mr. Fantasia Fair and etc. etc. The Banquet finally got over a little before ten. Afterward I went back to the B & B and sat around talking until midnight.

All-in-all it was another enjoyable fair even though I was some what under-the-weather most of the time I still had a good time and I plan on going back next year.

Picture of the Provincetown Pilgrim Tower, viewed from the balcony of the Carpe Diem Guesthouse

Friday May 28 th2004

I made reservation for my stay at the Carpe Diem for Fantasia Fair. I am going up Saturday October 16th, which is a day early so that I can meet with some friends from uniTy who are going up for the last weekend of Women's Week. I think that it will be a good idea to make room reservation early this year because of Same-Sex marriages being legal now in Massachusetts. They say the Provincetown is going to be the marriage capital of Massachusetts. A lot of the B & B's are full because they are being booked up for the wedding parties.

Tuesday August 31 st

I just registered for Fantasia Fair and sent in the check, so I am all set and counting down the days to it. I am going up on Saturday to meet some friends from Unity who are going up for the Women's Week weekend. I want to make an appointment to have my back, arms and part of my chest waxed ( Ouch!!! ) so that I can wear a red low cut spaghetti strap dress to the dinner Prom night on Tuesday.

Friday October 15th

Yesterday I went and had my back and chest waxed, ouch! ! ! Today it is still a little sore ( well more like a lot sore. ) and there is a little redness, however I think that it was worth it. I wanted to have my chest smooth for the Prom at Fantasia Fair on Tuesday night and hopefully it will be hair free for the entire event. Afterwards I went out to a local pizza place with a friend from Twenty Club.

Right now I am taking a little time off from packing, I got my list and I am checking it twice, I don't want to forget anything. In the morning I have an appointment to have my nails done at 8:15 so that I can get an early start. But that means I have to pack the car tonight and leave around 7:45 in order to get to my appointment on time.

I going to meet a friend on the way up and drive up there together in our own cars. Why you ask don't we drive up together? Well you never have seen a bunch of Trannies at a convention before. I got an outfit for each day, morning and night, with shoes to go along with each outfit. That means two suitcases, a clothes bag for all of the gowns, coats ( you just don't know how the weather will turn out anywhere from 70o to the 30's ) and a basket of shoes. Plus, my camera equipment ( including tripod ), computer, PDA, cell phone and all the chargers that go with them.

So stay tuned, and I will have daily updates from the fair.

Sunday October 17th

Well I made it up here around 2 o’clock. On the way up here I stopped at a friend’s house and we both drove up together, she had a CB that I could borrow so that we could talk. It worked out well and made the trip seem to go by faster.

Once I was up here a friend from uniTy called on my cell phone so that we could make plans on the evening. I was going to call her back when the other couple from COS got here so that we could finalize the plans. However, the phone number that I got from her was wrong and I wasn’t able to reach her. So I ended up meeting the friends from COS and we wandered around Provincetown.

Monday October 18th

Yesterday, in the morning I stayed around the B & B reading and then at noon I went with a friend from COS down for lunch and to register for Fantasia Fair. Boy, the place that we ate lunch at was Slowww….it was over an hour for just soup and a salad, it was the first time I never left a tip. This waitress was just so spaced out. Afterwards we went a registered, I then went and walked along the beach back to the B & B and took a number of good pictures on the way back.

At the B & B we had someone new to Fantasia Fair show up, she from the mid-west and drove all the way here. This is one of the first times that she was out in public and was nervous, but I think she is going to enjoy the fair and have a good time.

At night there was a Cocktail Reception party that was held at the Crown Point Inn, they pack so many fair goers into to such a same space that I really think they should hold it in a larger area. When that got over we went down and had a pizza, then went to the Vixen for drinks and to watch the Red Sox’s baseball game. When I left at a little after eleven the Sox’s were loosing and when I woke up this morning I found out that they had won in over time.

Tuesday October 19th

Yesterday after breakfast I took a drive with a friend from COS and the gal from the mid-west who is staying here at the B & B. She has never been to the east coast before so we drove out along the Seashore National Park so we visited Race Point walking around the beach and Visitor’s Center.

By the time we got back from the drive we missed the brunch, so they took a trip on the trolley and I got a quick bit to eat. I then went to the Noon symposium; the speaker was Susan Stryker a historian from San Francisco. I really liked the talk and there was good inter-reaction with the audience. Among other things that she talked about was gender construct and thinking out of the box. I wish I had taking notes, because as I write this it hard to remember all of the great topics that she talked about.

For dinner they had roll-ups and afterwards Susan Stryker showed a part of a film that she is working on call "Screaming Queens" that is going to be released on PBS in the spring. She answered questions about the film about the riot at Compton’s Cafeteria in San Francisco in1966, three years before the Stonewall Riots in New York. Once again it was very informative about how she dug out the information about the riots and the interviews of the people involved.

Once it was over we went down to Chasers for drinks and to watch the Red Socks beat the Yankees.

Wednesday October 20th

Tuesday was a rainy and gray type of day; in the morning I went to a seminar followed by the Noon talk. It was given by Dallas Denny and was on the topic of "You Make Me Sick". The talk was about medical literature and how they wrote about Transgenderism, how they treated it as abnormal, a very good talk.

In the afternoon I went and help decorate the ballroom from that evenings Prom after setting everything up I rushed back and changed. I did a lot of dancing and was one of the last ones to leave, the Prom was great and I had a really good time. Afterwards some of us went over to Roomers to sit around and talk, we left there around one.

Wow, the week is have gone, it is flying by so fast.

Thursday October 21st

Another cold and windy day at Fantasia Fair, not a so great day for wigs. Mine kept on getting all snarled and it had to be combed out constantly, for every broken hair I figure it’s a nickel base on the number of hairs and the cost. So I really hate seeing a brush fill of hairs.

Anyhow, I missed my morning seminar, I thought it was in the afternoon. Oh well. At lunch I listen to a talk by Miqqi Gilbert on "Bigenderism" which was about how our society is not able to cope with the idea of a society of more than two genders. It was also another great talk and they are attracting more towns’ people to come and listen to them. In the afternoon I went to a seminar and then rushed back to the B & B to change for dinner and the Fashion Show. For dinner we ate at an Italian restaurant on Commercial St., called "Front Street" and it was very good. I had Ravioli stuffed with Ricotta, mmmm….it was good.

The Fashion Show was good and a couple of friends from COS were in it, however I thought it was a little long. I thought that maybe they could have done anyway with showing the Prom Gowns after all we had the Prom last night and most of us saw them there. Afterwards we all rushed out to watch the end of the Red Sox and Yankee’s baseball game.

Friday October 22nd

Thursday nothing much happened in the morning there were no seminars that I wanted to attend. This is my fourth year and most of the seminars I have already attended in the past. There are only so many ways to put on make-up or hairstyles. I had lunch with some friends at the Crown and Anchor and afterwards I went to the presentation by Dr. Richard Ekins he is a professor of Sociology at a college over in England. He gave a talk on the "The Four Transgenders" which was about the definitions of Transgender. He did research for the Oxford Dictionary into the origins of the word dating back to its original usage and meaning by Virginia Prince. I hate to keep says this because after a while it become trite but it was another very interesting talk. The Fair has lined-up a very good list of speakers.

In the afternoon I went to a seminar given Helen Boyd, the author of "My Husband Betty" on writing which also was very good and I hope on applying so of the techniques that I learned here. She had us do an exercise where she asked us to think about something that we liked with the Fantasia Fair or Provincetown, then write down an adjective and then another adjective. Finally a short descriptive word or phrase and then put it all together into a sentence or paragraph. This is what I wrote; "The darken Cabrera with its spots lights shining on the stage, I could almost picture the smoke filled room from the past with the likes of Eugene O'Neill and Tennessee Williams upon the very stage performing their plays for the very first time."

In the evening there was a cocktail party here at the Carpe Diem Guesthouse, they were cleaning and vacuuming here all day to it spotless and they did a good job. After the party eight of us went to the "Lobster Pot" for a late dinner.

Saturday October 23rd

I have given up on talking about the weather; every day has been cloudy, chance of a shower and windy. Typical fair weather this week, but in the past it has been nice just that this year we are in a bad weather pattern.

Yesterday I went to the lunchtime symposium and the guest speaker was Jamison Green, his talk was about the coming out process and how it is never ending. There are always someone new coming into you your life and you always are making decisions on whether to tell them or not. Before the talk I met a friend up from Connecticut and his two friends and we all went to the symposium together. They were invited to stay afterwards for the discussion, so I also stayed and I was glad I did. The discussion went into greater detail than the talk itself.

We then met for dinner and had a nice dinner at Nappi’s, they went off to their meeting and we went off to see the Fantasia Fair Follies. At the follies I got pressed into helping out with the follow spot, as the person who was to suppose to do it didn’t show up. Next to the spot were these two ladies who just kept talking through out the whole show, just yackity, yackity, none stop babble. They were town’s folk and I just don’t know why they paid fifteen dollars just to come in and talk.

After the follies I went over to Roomers and stayed to a little after twelve, it was just starting to full up when I was leaving. But it was getting to late for me and I was tired.

Sunday October 24th

Well another Fantasia Fair has come to a close, the week flew by. I have no idea the number of time I walked from one end of Commercial St to the other this week as I went from one event to another. I think that is the real reason why I was tried at night so often. If I had to guest, I would say about eight - ten times a day and I would guest it about a mile long, so you do the math. Add on top of that the walk up to Roomer's on Carver St.

Saturday's venue I went to hear Dr Milton Diamond symposium at 1:30 entitled "Changing Concepts of Gender Develoment" and in my humble option is that they saved the best for last. Dr. Diamond talked about how over the years the thinking on gender development changed from being thought of as a social construct to more biological in nature. Such as Antigen Insensitivity Syndrome ( AIS ) which can affects the whole body or just certain organs within the body. That gender diversity is part of the evolutional process. That it bases lies in the genetic structure of ourselves. After the symposium they had the discussion session and I asked a couple of questions about the BST region of the brain and also about DES.

After the discussion I went back to the B & B to soak in the hot tub for a while before getting ready for the Banquet. At the banquet they gave out the awards to all volunteers that have helped out to get the Fair organized and run the Fair. One of our own COS members got an award for her efforts, which was nice to see.

This morning I packed up and had breakfast at the B & B instead of going to the brunch that the fair had, it was a hard choice to make. I wanted to say good bye to everyone, but they were making crepes stuffed with cheese and ham, the food won out and they were delicious. I then headed home around noon after a quick walk to the bank to visit Auntie Em and on the way back from the bank I met some friends that I stopped and talked with.

No matter how many times that I go to the fair, I always find it different enough that it says fresh. This year the symposium were the high point of the fair, they were really high caliber and professional. I always enjoy the fair and miss it when it's over. Until next year...

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October 26 th 2003

Provincetown Townhall

Well, another Fair has ended bring new memories and friends. I am counting the days until the next fair begins again. Fantasia Fair is an experience that cannot be put into words, it has to be lived.

Saturday October 18 th

I arrived at the B & B where I am staying in Provincetown, the Carpe Diem at 4:30, the ride up here took close to four hours. The route that I took is down Rt. 9 and then I-95 to I-195, I made average time in getting here. Once I got unpacked I headed out for dinner. All most all of the restaurants were packed, since this weekend is Women's Week and everywhere was hopping. Commerce Street was mobbed with pedestrian traffic, all the stores were open and the nightclubs had lines out their doors. So after I ate I walked around awhile, did some window shopping and took in the ambiance of the town.

Sunday October 19 th

The day was a cold and showery day. I sat around the B & B all morning and read. Around two o'clock, two friends from Connecticut Outreach Society ( COS ) arrived and I helped them unload their cars. I then went down with them to register for the Fair, afterwards I went shopping with one of them.

In the evening there was a wine and cheese party, however before we left, the B & B they put out some wine and cheese also. We ended up talking to some of the guest who were up here for Women's Week, we got involved talking with them that we were late for Fantasia Fair party.

Afterwards, we went out bar hopping and I got in a little before midnight.

Monday October 20 th

I got a late start to the morning, because of the late night. After breakfast, we said good-byes to our new friends that were up here for Women’s Weeks, then we headed off to the orientation meeting that they have for the new people who are up here for the fair and they also update the veterans to any changes. I only went to one seminar in the afternoon and that was on transgender legal matters.

There was a dinner of roll-up sandwiches followed by two movies. The first was a movie called "Jewel’s Darl" which stared Georgie Beyer who is the first transsexual Minister of Parliament in New Zealand and the second movie was about her life call "Georgie Girl" which I saw the first at the Hartford Gay and Lesbian Film Festival earlier in the year.

After the movies some of us went to the Vixen nightclub for some drinks

Tuesday October 21 st

In the morning I went to a seminar entitled "The Reality of the Real Life Experience" which was about what to expect if you transition, it was a good seminar and I will be going to part two on Wednesday. After the morning seminar I went to lunch with some friends at the Crown and Anchor and that was followed by a talk giving by the well-known lawyer from Texas Phyllis Frye. The talk was excellent, she was both witty and informative. She talked about transgender law and how it is evolving, about her trial law cases and politics.

At night they had the "The Pioneers Awards Banquet" in which they gave life time achievement awards to Phyllis Frye and Ariadne Kane. Afterwards most of us headed over to one of the B & B to sit around and talk, I left around midnight.

Wednesday October 22 nd

Another rainy day, with light showers all day long. I didn’t do anything in the morning except hang around the B & B and do some R & R. After lunch I went to listen to Vanessa Foster, who is the chair of the board of the National Transgender Advocacy Coalition talk about what the fair was like twenty years ago. It was very interesting she had many of the Fantasia Fair newsletters that they had put out each day of the fair. She also talked about what it was like trying to keep in touch with the friends back before e-mail and the internet.

I then went to hear part two of "The Reality of the Real Life Experience", that got finished at four-thirty and I went back to the B & B and a couple that I know had just arrived from Connecticut. We later went out to dinner and then to Fantasia Fair Fashion show. The fashion show lived up to it usual high quality entertainment, my only comment was that I think that this year’s show was a little long. They have four categories, beach ware, casual ware, mall wear and eveningwear, and I think with the twenty-three participants it made the show too long. After the show I met another friend who had just come up from Connecticut also. Some of us headed over to the B & B that we were at last night. I left at a little before one and the party was still going strong.

Thursday October 23 rd

Today was a slow day for me, most of the seminars I wasn’t interested in, they were some that I had attended in past years or they were for couples. So I stayed around the B & B all morning and later went to lunch. After lunch I went to the luncheon talk, which was giving, by Dallas Denny, it was a great talk about the history of transgenderism. She covered some of the earliest known crossdressers way back in Egyptian time on to the present. Afterwards I went back to the B & B and sat around and read, these late hours get to me. I am not used to staying up late.

In the evening they had a cocktail party at another B & B. Afterwards I went to get some pizza with a friend and then to another B & B where I stayed until 11:30 when I walked back to the Carpe Diem. The streets were wet from the light rain we had all day and the cold wind was whipping up the alleyways and side streets. Heels echoing on the deserted pavement. Laughter heard come from the bars and me, Diana, just walking down the street, it was so peaceful.

Friday October 24 th

The day was windy and cold with the sun peeking out behind clouds once in awhile. I went to a morning seminar on hormones and at lunch we met another friend from Connecticut that came up for the day to help out at the Follies. After lunch I listen to the Keynote speaker Dr. Marci Bowers, who is the first transgendered surgeon who performs GRS. She was very interesting and informative and they had a very good turn out to listen to her talk. Then after the keynote address I went to Mariette Pathy Allen seminar on photograph and how to take portrait photographs, you know me and photography, need less to say that I enjoyed the seminar.

For dinner we went to the Crown and Anchor where the Follies were being held, so we could get a good seat at the follies. I guest a number of other had the same idea. Because the restaurant was packed and we had to wait for table there, as a result we didn’t get our usual seats at the follies. The follies were great. As usual it was packed, the town’s people just love the show. From the comments that I over heard from the town’s people that were sitting behind me, they think that this is one of the best shows all year.

After the show I went over to the B & B that I went to the other nights, I left a little before one.

Saturday October 25 th

The day turned out to be rather nice, sunny, not too cold but, a little on the windy side. Didn't do much all day, there was no seminar that I wanted to go to in the morning, so I went to lunch and then headed back to the B & B and read for awhile. I then went to the afternoon lecture called "Lost in the Pink Fog" which was about decompressing after being at the fair all week. Some people have a hard time going back home after being en-femme all week. It is kind of rough going back to work in boy mode and being asked "How was your vacation?" and not being able to answer.

Then I got ready to go to the Award's Banquet. The banquet was nice, but I thought that it was a little to long, it got over at 10:00. The social hour started at 6:30 and we didn't start eating until 8:30. However, I did enjoy myself and I got a lot of pictures of friends in their evening gowns. After the banquet I was beat and the couple I was with was also beat so we made an early night of it. I tell you, you have to pace yourself during the week or you will be dead tired by the end of the week.

Sunday October 26 th

I got up early and read until 8:00am and then I went to the breakfast at the B & B. I decided not to go to the Farewell breakfast that they had for the fair participants. Because some people I know were at the Cape this weekend and I didn't want to risk the chance that I may bump into them, see we are all in some type of closet no matter how open we are.

On the drive home I decided to go a different way, so in Rhode Island I took Rt. 165 to Rt. 138 and then Rt. 2. The ride was about twenty miles shorter however it took about the same amount of time. Next year I think I will go the Mass. Pike route

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October 30, 2002

Entering Provincetown Established 1686 SignAnother whole year has passed once again I am writing about Fantasia Fair. I fell in love with Fantasia Fair the very first time that I went. The town of Provincetown makes the fair, from its people to its location at the tip of Cape Cod. To walk the streets and visit the shops, to be out and about not cooped up in some hotel. To feel the wind, smell the ocean and yes even to dodge the rain drops makes you feel so much more alive.

Sunday October 21st

After driving for two and half-hours the Bourne's bridge was finally in sight, Cape Cod at last! But, it was still another one and a half-hour drive to reach Provincetown. I checked into the Carpe Diem guesthouse where I am staying and then I went down and registered for the fair.

Later on I went out to supper with some friends from COS ( Connecticut Outreach Society ), we went to Ciro and Sal's, a nice Italian restaurant. Then over to the Pier bar, a nightclub where a dance was being sponsored jointly by Fantasia Fair and Women's Week. There I meet some friends from uniTy who came down for Women's Week. I didn't stay to late it was a long day and also the music was for the young folk.

Monday October 22nd

The day started off with the Orientation breakfast, I took the rest of the morning off and went window shopping until lunch. At the breakfast the newbies were given information about the fair and Provincetown, also a police public affairs office gave a talk about that Provincetown was proud of it's zero tolerance on hate crimes, that your biggest worry is parking, which is strictly enforced.

After lunch, I went the lecture, as they call it "Plenary" about Crossdressing. One of the things that stood out to me is the "Crossdresser wear women clothes because they are women clothes and transsexuals wear women clothes because they are women." After the talk I went back to my room and read until supper.

Dinner was at the Universalist Unitarian Meeting hall and was followed by a movie "Myth of Father" about a son documentary on his father's transition and how it affected their family. After the movie some of us went up to the Vixen for a couple of drinks and to talk. I left a little after eleven.

Tuesday October 23rd

I took it easy in the morning and read. For lunch I went to the lecture "Can the Mind Be Inter-gendered?", it was an informative talk and I think that she made some very good points showing that it can be. One of the facts I mentioned was about DES being given to expectant mothers and how it affects the male fetus.

After lunch, I went to the seminar on "In Search of the Elusive Image" which was about writing poetry and I learned a few tips and techniques.

They had an awards dinner to honor some pioneers who lead the way for the rest of us. They gave awards to Virginia Prince and Merissa Lynn for their work over the decades. Afterwards, we went over to one of the B & B to sit around and talk. Most of those there all knew and worked with Virginia over the many years and they related many of their fond memories of her.

Once again I left around eleven and walk back to my B & B along the deserted streets in high heel all dressed t the nine from the Banquet dinner.

Wednesday October 24th

The day started off cold and rainy, but by the end of the day the sun managed to finally come out. In the morning I went to a seminar call "What Can Science Tell Us About Transgender Experience" it was very informative and from what she said re-enforced what I already believe, that it is not just one factor but a combination of both nature and nurture. That it is made up of a combination of genetics, prenatal environment and life experience.

After lunch another member of COS arrived. I went a discussion group on the aging transperson, yes I am getting up there in age where I'm starting to look towards retirement. On the way back from the meeting I saw a car of a friend that I knew since high school parked next to the town hall. When I saw them this summer they mentioned that they were going up to Wellfleet this week. Now when I saw their car I thought "This could be Very InterestingQuot;.

This is the Fashion Show night at the fair. Before the show we went dinner at the Lobster Pot and once again they had excellent food. The two events that really bring out the locals are the fashion show and the follies. Tonight's fashion show was just as good as ever. I always enjoy watching new timers watch the show. After the show we just headed back to the B & B and turned in, I was beat it was a long and busy day.

Thursday October 25th

Another great day both weather wise and events, I went to luncheon plenary and read some of my poems. I heard some favorable comments from the audience afterwards. Then I went shopping for a dress for the COS Halloween party and for the following Saturday night's dinner that some of us are going to.

For dinner we all went to the Martin house for a very nice dinner and that was follower by a round of house parties. I didn't get back to the B & B until after one o'clock. But the parties were really worth it, we had some great discussions on transgenderism.

Friday October 26th

Another nice day, I started off the day with a seminar, had lunch and listened to a talk about Provincetown and what it is like to live here year round. A person gave the talk from town's Board of Director's and also a brief sidebar by the Chief of Police, who read the town's anti-hate crime ordnance. However, after he read it, I noticed that it didn't said anything about "Gender". Maybe we can get it included into the ordnance. After the talk I went back to my room and read for while, then took a nap in preparation for the follies.

We all ate dinner at the Crown and Anchor and then went around to the back of the restaurant for the follies. Once again the Fantasia Fair Follies lived up to it's reputation it was excellent. The follies are open to the public and the town's folk know that they are going to get their money's worth. The hall was packed and the show lasted about two and half-hours and we got out around ten thirty. Some went out and partied, but a couple of others and myself from the B & B went back to it and we sat around drinking some wine and talking until after midnight.

Saturday October 27th

The gale warnings were out at the Coast Guard station, we had a full-blown Nor'easter. The rain was coming down all day and the wind turned many umbrellas inside out. I decided to forgo the morning and went to lunch at the Crown and Anchor then head back to my room for some dry clothes. Then back to the Crown and Anchor at two-thirty for the talk on "Lost In The Pink Fog" which was about going home after the fair and being depressed or making rash decisions about transitioning. After the talk it was a wet and windy trip back to the B & B, take a short nap and get ready for the Awards Banquet Dinner that was being held at Michael Shay's. One of our COS sisters got the "Most Helpful" award.

Once the dinner broke up some of us headed over to the Vixen bar for drinks. While we were there we did some outreach, we talked to some women who just couldn't understand why we would what to dress as women. One in the morning we headed over to Roomers and I stayed until two, when the clocks were set back one hour to Standard time.

Sunday October 27th

Too bad my body didn't realize that we are on Standard time when I woke up this morning. We all went to the breakfast at the breakfast at Michael Shay's and said our good-byes. I headed for home around eleven, got home a little after three, and took a lone nap. Until next year.

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October 21, 2001

Crown and Anchor, where the office was for the Fantasia Fair - Provincetown Ma. Oct. 2001

What I got out of Fantasia Fair is a sense of community and freedom. As you walk down the streets of Provencetown, no one says anything, you might get some looks, but that's all. As you pass other Fair attendees they nod their head and say "Hi" or you may stop and talk to them awhile. It is a very emotional time for some and there are others, both professional and peers who are there to give a helping hand if you need it.

Yes, it can be very emotional. I speak from experience, in some of the encounter groups I am trying to work out how to tell my brother about my Transgenderism.

But it is also a fun time, with a lot to do to keeping you busy. Some people come for the parties, some come for the seminars, others come for both and others come to lend a hand and help others to over come their fears. You can come for one day or the whole weeks. You can stay at a fancy Bed and Breakfasts or at a boarding house, what ever fits your budget

For some they have been coming ever year, for others it's their very first time out of the closet.

As I write this on the last day of the Fair I have developed new friendships, not friends, but a bond between kind and understanding people who share a common journey through life.

Note: From Saturday Oct 14th I have been in girl mode as Diana untill Sunday Oct 21st

Sunday, Oct 14th

First day at Fantasia Fair, drove up from home and got to the Carpe Diem where I'm staying around 2:30, it took a little over four hours to get here. It's damp and drizzly day. Meet a COS ( Connecticut Outreach Society ) member at registration, she was working the sign-in. Another COS couple arrived at a little after 4:00

After we had dinner at restaurant whose name I won't mention ( Which was a rip-off $35 for lobster tails, at least it was good. ) we went to the reception wine and cheese party. There they introduced all of the new fair goers; there were people from all over the U.S. and Canada as well as England, Spain, Italy and Brazil. Some of us went to a restaurant and they had dinner ( I just had a salad, the other restaurant for $35 at didn't include a salad. ) Then I went back to the B&B around eleven.

Monday, Oct 15th

It rained some overnight, but I think the weather is going to turn out ok.

It did. Went to the Welcome breakfast where they went over the fair schedule and had the Chief of Police give a short welcome. He explained that P’town does not tolerate any hate crimes and if we are the victim of one we should report it no matter how trivial it was.

For lunch I went to the talk on "The Gender Journey", it was quite interesting. They talked about the things that affect our life, the turning points. It was presented by a certified Sexologist and director of a counseling service in New York, NY and by a professor and chair of the department of Sociology at a college in Ohio.

After lunch I went to a seminar on "Year of Real Life Experience" by a, lawyer from California, who transitioned eighteen months ago and will have SRS shortly. Another good talk, she went over all of the pitfalls that she had and what a person can look forward to if they go through with it.

I was moved by the tale she told, coming out to her family and friends. She talked about all of the preparations that she had to make both legal and medical for her transition.

Dinner was at the Unitarian Church; they packed us like sardines in there. Afterwards I went over to a couple from COS's room along with some friends that I had meet at other TG events and sat around and talked.

Tuesday, Oct 16th

Started the morning with a sore throat. Didn't do much today except went to Highland light for some photographs. Some came out nice enough to print. While I was there I decide to take the tour of the lighthouse light room. I paid my three dollars and went into the base of the lighthouse and notice that the stairs were an open stair case type and I had on a skirt. So when the tour group went up, I went up last and down first. From the top it's a beautiful view of the whole lower cape.

Later, saw some friends sitting on the park benches in front of the Town Hall talking to friend from COS, stopped by to say hi. She asked me why I didn't say hello before. I asked her when that was. It turned that the guy in front of the coffee shop who called out earlier in the day was actually her in boy mode.

Went out to eat with my friends from COS who are staying at the Carpe Diem with me to the Nappie’s, excellent food, then went and had a drink at the Vixen. While we were at the Vixen it started to rain and we had to walk back in a wind and heavy rain.

Wednesday, Oct 17th

The rain has stopped and the forecast is for clearing skies and colder.

The morning seminar that I went to was "Peer and Outreach Counseling" with a counselor from Long Island. At lunch I went to "What Am I Doing Wearing a Dress" a lighthearted group discussion that was hosted by a professor from Toronto. And after lunch I went to "Sex Change for Dummies" and the presentation was given by transsexual who is now living in Boston.

For supper we all went down to the "Lobster Pot" and I had crabmeat salad ( They charged only $22 for a whole lobster, not just the tail).

For the evenings entertainment they had a fashion show, it's not a professional show and it's only done to have some fun. Saying that I enjoyed it immensely. The only thing was that I sat in a draft.

Thursday, Oct 18th

Woke up this morning with a runny nose. The day is supposed to be sunny, with a high in the fifties.

The morning seminar that I went to was  "TG Issues and Concerns" hosted by the two people who did Monday's seminar. The session wasn't long enough to get into any serious discussions but it did cover a broad spectrum of topics about getting out and being you. It had a lot of soul searching.

After lunch I went on the artist walk, where you visit a number of art galleries and was followed by high tea. It was also the opening presentation of Mariette Pathy Allen new book "The Gender Frontier", I never knew the she is such a talented artist. She has some really great photos of the TG community. I joined a group of three other girls who were starting the walk at the same time that I was starting.

After dinner a COS member who is staying at the B&B and I went into the hot tub, that was nice and relaxing.

Friday, Oct. 19th

Another nice day, sunny and highs in the upper sixties.

Didn't do too much today, went for a walk with a COS member and her spouse in the morning over at the National Seashore Park and took some pictures. For lunch went to Bayside Betty’s to listen to a talk about the Six Degrees of Acceptance. It was about the different stage of acceptances of how you feel about yourself.

The evening's entertainment was Fantasia Follies it was a big hit. Afterwards, I went out partying with a COS member who is staying at the B&B and ended up at Roomers ( Another B&B). I got in at two in the morning and I'm paying for it today ( Saturday morning ).

Saturday, Oct 20th

Still another nice day, just like yesterday.

I was right, did feel lousy this morning had a slight hangover. I went to the lunch at Bayside Betty's and then to the Crown and Anchor to have a critique of the fair. I thought that they should have some type of hospitality suite where people could go to relax and talk during the day not at two in the morning. Then I went back to my room to relax and get ready for the banquet.

The banquet was a lot better then last years, we had the whole restaurant instead of just one room and I think that there were more people there. A spouse of a COS did end up going to the banque banquet she was hesitant about going. She got the book ( Mariette Pathy Allen's "Transformations Crossdressers and Those Who love Them" )I bought autographed for me, I was to shy to ask

We ended up over at the same couple's room that were went to on Monday for a party and I left around midnight

Sunday, Oct 21st

Check out day, another day just like the last two days. Time to say our farewells, a time to pack and pay the bills. Went to the Farewell Brunch and then left for home.

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October 22, 2000

Door to the Provincetown Reservation Center -Fantasia Fair - Provincetown Ma. Oct. 2000

It has been just a year since I joined COS ( Connecticut Outreach Society ), in that years time I went to the dinners and banquet that they have hosted and have enjoyed them all. But, the Fantasia Fair can’t come any where near any of those events. It’s a seven day filled with all types of presentations and evening entertainment. I went up on Tuesday with another COS member and we stayed at a Bed and Breakfast on a side street just off of Commercial Street, the main thoroughfare through town. It’s a nice little place that is very Transgender friendly. (Photos from Provincetown)

This year at the fair they had the events a la carte. You could buy a morning, lunch or an afternoon presentation as well as the evening entertainment. We chose only to buy the evening entertainment. On Tuesday night it was a cabaret act by Jill Richards a transgender entertainer from Vancouver B.C. and the show was held at the Vixen night club located just off of Commercial Street. After the show, we meet up with a couple from COS. They had come up on Sunday and gave a presentation on Monday .

The next day we shopped and shopped until we dropped. For those of you who have never been to Provincetown ( or otherwise know as P’town ) it is what use to be called an artist colony. The "Street" is about a mile long and is covered with small stores. Art galleries, Photo galleries, clothing stores, jewelry stores, restaurants and other assorted stores, and I mean Assorted stores there are a number of just weird stores, but most are tourist type stores. Another thing about P’town is that it is very "T" friendly. Also it is very popular with Gays and Lesbians. The last weekend of the Fair was also "AAA Lesbian weekend".

The second night we were there they had a fashion show that was also at the Vixen. The show lasted for about 90 minutes and in the show they showed sportswear, leisure wear, business wear and cocktail dresses. Once again after the show you could socialize until all hours of the night if you wanted. P’town is a partying town.

On Thursday another COS member and her spouse arrived to stay for two nights, just to see what the Fair was like. Once again it was shop until you drop. I ended up buying a necklace, a bracelet and a couple of rings. The town is hopping with bus loads of tourist during the day. As we walked down the street it was fun watching the tourist watch us and see the expressions on their faces. It was all part of the P’town experience. At no time was there any harassment or hostility toward us and the shop keepers were very happy to see us come in and look around.

That night’s entertainment was a concert by Sara Buechner on the piano and Elanie Kreston on the cello. Sara Buechner is member of the faculties of New York University and the Manhattan School of Music and she is world renown for her work. She is also a transsexual who transitioned in 1996. The four of us went to to the concert. I had never been to a classical concert before and I enjoyed it. The concert was a nice change from the night before. Also at the concert we meet some other members of COS there.

On Friday one of our member signed up for the whole day of presentations with lunch and evening entertainment included. Speaking of lunch, my favorite place is the "Stormy Harbor" it has the best New England clam chowder in Provincetown. There are a lot of restaurants on the street varying price ranges. We had diners at the Governor Bradford on Thursday night and at the Lobster Pot on Friday. After dinner on Friday we went to the Crown and Anchor for the Fanfair Follies 2000. The show mistress of ceremonies was Jill Richards and included some of our COS members. They brought the audience to a standing ovation with their number ‘If you read my mind". The couple from COS also did the closing number "Love Can Build a Bridge".

Saturday was a quite day for us, we were all shopped out and one of our COS members and here spouse had to leave for a previous engagement. The banquet that night was an awards banquet for all of the people who helped out at the Fantasia Fair this year. The theme song for the banquet was an old Doris Day song, "Que Sera Sera Whatever Will Be Will Be, The Future's Not Ours To See Que Sera Sera"

If there is one place where you can relax and be yourself, it’s Provincetown. The tourist may gawk and stare, but they leave you a lone. After awhile it even becomes funny. As we were leaving the Lobster Pot on Friday , two couples were just coming in. The men stopped in their tracks and their jaws just about hit the ground. We just walked by and said hello. Provincetown and Fantasia Fair can be fun. I hope I can go back next year and meet some old friends from the fair, meet some new friends and maybe see more faces from COS there.They have girls coming from all over the US and Canada to spend the week and have a good time being themselves.

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