“The Challenge of Family Healing”  was the title of a three part letter which was published in 1996 by the eight Bishops of Northern Canada.  This letter from the Catholic leaders of the north focused on suffering in families and on the Church’s desire and responsibility to help alleviate that suffering.  The Bishops challenge the local faith communities “to make your faith a living reality in today’s world” by supporting these families and helping them build the confidence and skills they need.  

   It was at the time when  the background work for this letter was being done that I was  searching for ways to help the many hurting children and families that I was encountering as Principal of St. Mary’s School in Prince George.  The trauma and upset so many of them were experiencing because of death, divorce, separation, abandonment and other painful transitions in their families concerned me deeply and I felt that, as Christian communities, we should and could be doing  more to help these struggling families.

   So when I approached our Bishop, Gerry Wiesner OMI,  one of the eight who signed the letter,  for approval and support in setting up the RAINBOWS peer support program for grieving children, I received his unconditional approval, support and encouragement.   I was invited to address the Priests’ Council and the Catholic Principals’ Meetings  on several occasions and with their backing,  support and encouragement  the RAINBOWS program has been set up in almost every parish of the diocese. It is important to mention that RAINBOWS is a non-denomonational program which is open to volunteers and participants from the whole community.  In most cases the Catholic school buildings are used, but the facilitators (volunteers who lead the program) are recruited from the total community - various professions and churches. In this way the compassion and skills of the community are being channeled to benefit children and families in need.

   Children are profoundly affected by loss caused by death,  separation, divorce or abandonment.   Their shell of security has been broken open.  Sometimes they are bargained for and fought over and given conflicting messages  by parents and extended family.   They are confused and feel that their world is falling down around them. They are grieving over the loss of their former security.  Very often their parents are too occupied with their own pain and confusion to offer help.  These children need the time and compassionate attention of caring, trained adults to listen to them and help them through their grieving to healing and hope. Without this help the unresolved grief remains buried alive and may surface later in life causing problems at home, in school or  with the law. Some turn to drugs, alcohol or suicide. It is often carried into adult life, into marriages that fail, continuing the cycle.  It makes more  sense to help a five year old deal with grief now than to wait ten, fifteen or twenty years when it will have become a complex problem.

   The RAINBOWS program was developed to answer this need and help children deal with their grief.  My first introduction to the program was at Christ Community Church in Nanaimo where Ann-Marie Hewer set up and directed BC’s first RAINBOWS site some sixteen years ago.  It is now flourishing on Vancouver Island, in places in the lower mainland, the Okanagan, the Kootenays,  here in Prince George and across northern BC.
  
   RAINBOWS has a BC -  www.rainbows.bc.ca -  and an international - www.rainbows.org -  website on the internet where you can access extensive information about its history,  mission, locations, contacts  etc.  So it is not necessary to go into any of that here. 

   The six years that I have been involved in RAINBOWS have been very satisfying and fulfilling. It is so heartening and encouraging to hear children say such things as, “RAINBOWS was the difference between life and death for me.”  This was from a participant who, before hearing about RAINBOWS,  had been considering suicide as a way out of her pain.  Some of the most  common  comments are:  
-  “I learned that I’m not alone in this, others are going through the same and we help each other.”    
-  “I know now that the divorce/ separation/ death is not my fault.”    
-  “In RAINBOWS  I learned how to forgive and to help others in my family to forgive.”    
-  “The  leaders helped me to share my feelings.”   
-  “I know now that my Dad and Mom are divorced from each other but they both still love me.”    
-  “I learned how to talk about my feelings.”   
-  “I’m not afraid to talk about my Dad’s death now - it doesn’t scare me.” 

   In the past week four people who called to register children in RAINBOWS said, “I hear nothing but good things about RAINBOWS.”  Parents tell us communication has improved, school grades have gone up, children are less angry, more at peace and more cooperative at home and in school.  So you can make a difference in the life of a child by volunteering  in the RAINBOWS program in your area. 

   We know that we are only touching the “tip of the iceberg”  and that the “Challenge of Family Healing” is still a huge task.  But if we don’t get involved, if we don’t reach out, what will happen to:
-  the children who are hungry - not necessarily for food, but for attention - someone to listen to their hearts? 
-  the children who are thirsty - not necessarily for water - but for love?
-  the children who are homeless - not necessarily for a roof over their heads - but for a place to feel they belong?

By our pulling together, responding to the need, we can make a difference. We can restore the child-like sparkle to our youth by helping them in their journey from hurt through healing to hope.