[I'm just the bassist, I'm just Paul, just that, nothing more and never will be, I'm just me. r/r!]
Author: Trace, sXe-OpenFire-
Summary: I�m just the bassist, I�m just Paul, just that, nothing more and never will be, I�m just me.
Disclaimer: I don�t own Paul or any other characters!
Authors Note: I�M NOT BEING MEAN! WELL�YES I AM TO SINGLE PAUL OUT AS THE LONELY BASSIST BUT! I LOVE PAUL AND I�M NOT SAYING HE FEELS THIS WAY!
Today, I�m sitting here staring out the window of our bus. How I always am. I�m sitting and day dreaming, hoping that someone will sense my depression and help me out of it. No one will though, no one. Everyone, friends family fans, they all think I�m happy. Why would they think this when it is so obvious that I am not? They are all oblivious to the fact that I need someone. I have no one the fans crowd Benji and Joel. My parents think I use them for a place to sleep when I�m not on tour. My friends never look at me they assume. Well, assuming gets you nowhere.
Our new drummer Chris comes over and sits by me. I�ve been admiring him lately, from afar of course. He�s beautiful and god how I want him. I want him to notice me and care for me and be the one person who does. He won�t be though because to him, like everyone else, I�m just Paul. Why can�t I be more than just Paul? Why can�t I be more?
I get a sudden tingle on my neck and I know someone is staring at me. I turn and look right into Chris�s beautiful eyes. �Paul?� He questions. �Yes?� I reply. �What�s wrong?� He asks staring back into my dull eyes. �Umm I�m not sure I know what you mean.�
�I mean, the rest of the guys are so happy and jumpy, but you never seem to do any of that stuff I don�t know I just think you should�enjoy life more.� My eyes grew wide. Was he actually paying attention to me? Did he actually realize how lonely and sad I�ve become? �I�I�� I had no clue what to say. This is the first time anyone has cared enough to notice me. Finally I figured out something to say.
�I have no reason to enjoy life, what for? Myself? Well that�s not a good enough reason because I�m just Paul, sometimes not even that, to half of our fans I�m �that one bass player guy� so why should I enjoy that? There�s nothing in my life to enjoy.� I said sounding a little more annoyed then meant. �Yeah, well I�m just the new drummer and I�m just that new bald guy and I�m just Chris, but just Chris sees that deep down Just Paul is more then Just a bassist he�s smart funny suave unique talented gifted�and beautiful.�
Was he really saying all this stuff to me? Am I dreaming? The one person that I have ever truly watched, is he actually feeling the same I do?
�Well, just Paul sees all these things in just Chris, he sees more then the new drummer.� I said. We stared into each other�s eyes before Chris leaned in and placed our lips together. We stayed there for a while, until we pulled away at the same time.
I�m not just Paul anymore, I know. I know when I look at Chris and I feel his touch. I know when I hear his voice and I know when I hear his name. Even if I am just a bass player to half the people out there, well that seems pretty good as long as I have my just Chris.