Tosatsu stared down at the grave infront of her as tears rolled down her cheeks & fell to the ground, making dark spots where they fell. She had been silently crying here for some time now, mourning over her lost mate. She missed everything about her wolf prince, Kouga. She yearned for his voice, his touch, his love most of all. It had been two months since he was lost in a battle & she had not taken a new mate yet, even though the pack was pushing for her to.
Why did I have to lose you my sweet prince? She thought to herself. I can�t please the wolf pack if I don�t have you. I can no longer kill in hunts because I have lost my motivation since I lost you. When there is a successful hunt, I cannot eat because my hunger is gone. Kouga my love, in losing you I have lost my life. A soft breeze blew her hair about her until it died down & her hair fell around her shoulders & down her back.
Somewhere off in the distance, in the direction of the wolf pack�s caves, she could hear the calls of the wolf pack as they looked for her. But she didn�t care if they were looking for her; all she wanted was to die by her mate�s grave so that she could be with him again.
She could smell their scents getting closer, but she was too weak to get up & run from them. She had used up most of her energy to get here & that itself wasn�t very much. Kouga, I lost the pups I was carrying before the attack. She sighed softly. I lost them two weeks ago, so now I have only my memories of you.
�Lady Tosatsu, come back to the caves,� Aisu said as he leaned down & gently took hold of her arm. He was the first to find where she was before the other pack members that were looking for her gathered around. �You should not be out in your weakened condition. It�s not safe if you have no one with you.�
�Please Aisu, leave me to die,� she whispered. �I have no reason to live anymore; not without my mate.�
Aisu, Beta of the pack, motioned for everyone to leave back to the caves before he got on his knees next to Tosatsu. He put his hand on her shoulder, causing her to look at him. �Lady Tosatsu, you have plenty of reasons to keep going. This pack needs you. I know you miss Kouga; we all do. And we also know that this is hard to go on without him; we�re all going through it.�
�But you were not his mate. None of the pack members were, but I was. I got to share a bond with him that no one else did, got to have love that he gave to no other,� Tosatsu said, her normally strong voice, breaking as more tears spilled down her cheeks. �And none of the pack members, or you, were carrying his only pups at one time or another, then lost them due to grief. None of you will ever know the pain I feel.�
Aisu rubbed her back softly, feeling sympathy for the female demon that he considered to be his sister. He knew she was suffering from her emotional pain, but he couldn�t do anything to help her since she had been so in love with Kouga, & her soul had been deeply connected with his soul. �Lady Tosatsu, I am certain this is hard for you, but you have to go on with your life as the pack�s Alpha female. You need to get your strength up so you can hunt once more & I�m sure that with a few hunting exercises, you�ll be hunting like you used to again.� Aisu gave Tosatsu a small hug. �I�ll even help you train.�
Tosatsu leaned against him, her head resting on his shoulder as he wrapped an arm around her shoulders. �It doesn�t feel right for me to be alive when he is gone now. I want to be with him again,� she whimpered. �I cannot be without him.�
Aisu didn�t know what to do or what to say to the words she had spoken. �Lady Tosatsu, if I know Kouga well enough, then I know he would want you to go on with your life. Lady Tosatsu, myself & the whole pack wish he were still with us as well, but the only thing we can do about not being with him is to die. All that would do is take out the pack & that would do no good if you think about it because there is no guarantee that we�ll meet up with him in the next worlds.
�I know Aisu. I just miss him so much.�
�I know. But I�m sure that if he could come back to you from the other worlds, he would tell you that you need to move on & find a new mate...� Aisu looked into her eyes. �And I would agree with him. Please Lady Tosatsu, come back to the caves & get your life stable once more. The pack & myself need you for too much to lose you.�
Tosatsu looked from Aisu to the earth that covered the remains of her dead mate before she nodded slightly. �Aisu, thank you for your comfort & advice. I can see why Kouga would choose you as Beta of the back when he was alive. You�re so wise, dear Aisu.�
�Thank you Lady Tosatsu.�
�Aisu, would you help me get back to the caves? I wish to return to my home,� Tosatsu said as she rose to her feet, nearly falling over when she found that her legs had fallen asleep from being in that position for so long.
Aisu was quick to help her steady herself & let her lean on him as the two made their way back to the caves where the pack had already started to cook the prepared meat from a large hunt earlier in the day.