Catriona stared at Inu Yasha as she felt her stomach churning from the words he had just spoken to her. �Inu Yasha, what are you talking about?� She asked, placing her hand over the hollow of her throat as if hoping to keep the vile from coming up.
�You�re carrying my child from the night I used you while you slept,� he answered slowly. Not, because he thought she was stupid & had not understood what he had told her, but because he had to play it through for his own mind. �I�m very sorry Catriona & I will understand if you never spoke to me again,� he said as he lifted his head to look at her.
Catriona stared at the hanyou that she had thought was her friend & was now having doubts about. �When Jaken visited me to give me that letter from Sesshomaru, was there a possibility that he could smell it?� She asked, feeling her anger rise inside of her.
Inu Yasha could tell by the tension in her posture that she was indeed angry at him, so he figured it unnecessary to lie to her now. �Catriona, there is a good chance for that,� he answered, watching as her eyes widened slightly. �But... I couldn�t even smell your pregnancy until I got you away from the many pregnant females in the cave because their pregnancy masked your own scent. So what he might have smelled on you was the scent of many pregnant females instead of just you.�
�But there is still a chance that he smelled my own pregnancy?�
�There is that chance Catriona, but it is more likely that he smelled the females, not you.�
Catriona sighed heavily, & looked down at her stomach, knowing that inside was a child from Inu Yasha, her mate�s own flesh & blood brother, developing. -Will I carry this child for the seven months I did Isamu, or will I carry him for a full pregnancy?- She thought. But the moment she realized what she had been thinking, tears came to her eyes & she put her hands over her face to hide the sight even though she was sure Inu Yasha could smell them.
Not sure of why Catriona was crying, he lowered his head once more & sighed softly before he got up & went to her, putting his arm around her shoulders as he kneeled by her side. �I�m sorry Catriona,� he whispered. �I know this may sound stupid, but are you crying because of what I told you?�
Catriona cried more as she thought of what Isamu would say & how he would feel if he were to find out that his mother was pregnant with the child of his Uncle, not his Father. -This would break his heart,- she thought as she sniffled, & then shivered as a harsh wind blew, putting out the fire. �I miss my son,� she finally cried out.
Inu Yasha lowered his head, resting his chin against her shoulder as he shifted his body slightly to block her from as much of the wind as he possibly could. -Here she is, mourning over Isamu still & I tell her this news,- he thought, wishing a youkai would come along & tear him to shreds as long as it didn�t hurt Catriona. -I should have never taken her that night. I should have just took her into my arms & returned her to Koga�s den & left her with her son...- He felt like hitting himself for what he just thought of. -And why didn�t I do that instead of using her?!-
After a couple minutes of crying softly, she finally calmed down & looked up at Inu Yasha, who had his eyes closed. It was at that moment that she realized she felt a bit warmer than earlier, as if he was giving her his own heat. -That must be why I�m warm,- she thought, feeling guilty that he was going to get cold because of trying to keep her warm. -I shouldn�t feel guilty though... I am pregnant with his child & I might lose my Sesshomaru because of this...-
Inu Yasha concentrated more on giving her some of his warmth, knowing that the wind was going to be blowing colder & more harsh soon & that she would need all the warmth she could get. -This is the least I could do since I might have just ruined her life,- he thought.
-If Isamu were still alive he would try to teach Inu Yasha a lesson for using my body in my sleep,- she thought. �Don�t let him win mommy...� Isamu�s words echoed through her mind & she tensed up in Inu Yasha�s arms. -Don�t let him win... Is this what he meant? When he was dying, did he see something that he didn�t have the time to tell me about?-
Inu Yasha felt Catriona tense up in his arms, so he opened his eyes & moved away from her enough to look at her as she looked back at him. �Are you feeling any warmer?� He asked.
She nodded, her eyes showing a hesitant emotion. �I�ve lost my appetite,� she muttered softly. �Can we go ahead & get on our way to the village? I�d like to try & get closer to it before the snow starts falling.�
Inu Yasha nodded, not daring to question her about leaving the rabbits that he had cooked for her. �Are you sure you�re ready for travel?� He questioned, wanting to make sure she would be fine with the bumpy ride of his running.
�I�ll be fine Inu Yasha,� she answered as they both rose to their feet & brushed off any dirt that might have stuck to his hakama or her kimono. When he crouched down for her to hop on his back, she hesitated before she did so. �About how much longer until we get there?�
�If we make good time getting to Totosai�s cave, then we only have until tonight... But if the weather turns bad or we have to rest for the night, then we�ll get there tomorrow,� he answered as he began running in the direction of the cave.
�Do you care if I take a nap on your back Inu Yasha?�
�Not at all Catriona, feel free to take a nap if you need to.�
�Thank you Inu Yasha,� she spoke before resting her head against his silver mane of unruly hair. -How could he do this to me?- She thought. -He may have given in to his weaknesses, but why didn�t he just take me back to Koga�s den? Did he think I wouldn�t be safe there when Ginta & Hakkaku had been ordered to be loyal to the females they were paired with? Besides, Koga is mated to Kagome. It�s not like he would try to have his way with me...-
She looked at the scenery flying back & sighed softly, hoping the rushing wind would mute it to the hanyou�s ears. -I hope Jaken wasn�t able to smell the scent of my pregnancy with Inu Yasha�s child. If he tells Sesshomaru, then Sesshomaru will be angry with me & might not want me as his mate anymore. Is this what you wanted Inu Yasha?-
She didn�t surprise herself with her bitter thoughts; instead her anger grew. -If this is what you wanted, then I�m not going to let you win. For Isamu�s sake, I�m going to fight to stay with Sesshomaru as his loving, loyal mate. You know I would have never slept with you if I were in a conscious state; I would have pushed you away because of my love for Sesshomaru. I let someone come between us once before already & I refuse to let it happen again. Although I love children, I�m glad I lost Miroku�s child because it wasn�t from my Sesshomaru. If I lose your child, then I won�t shed a tear because it isn�t the child of my mate.-
Catriona sighed softly again as she tried to set her anger to the side & began wondering how her mate was fairing in his battle against Lord Mottomorashii of the Eastern Lands. She was truly worried about him & was just now realizing that if she wasn�t at Koga�s den to get any letters from her mate then she wouldn�t have a way of knowing that he was okay. She sighed & wished they had cell phones in these times so she could call Sesshomaru & hope he wasn�t too busy fighting to answer.
-Damn the lack of technology in these times,- she thought before she willed her body into a deep sleep, just in time for the snow to start falling again.