Motherhood

Janeway awoke with a start, again. For the third time in a week she had another nightmare. This time, the Borg had assimilated voyager. Last time voyager had been taken over by the Hrojan. The time before that Chakotay turned out to be a Cardassian spy.

Things weren't going so well on voyager lately. Janeway felt that the crew morale had taken a downturn. Neelix wasn't doing his job adequately. Well, things were going to change.

Janeway got up and ordered a coffee and croissant from the replicator. She promptly vomited it after a bite. She angrily tapped her combadge.

"B'lanna! What the hell is wrong with the replicators. When I ask for coffee and a croissant, I at least expect them to be edible!"

"I'm sorry captain. I'll get on it right away." She said, shocked by Janeway's tongue lashing. The captain was silent for a moment. Then she angrily shoved her half-eaten food into the replicator, where the cup shattered against the rear of the unit. The debris was promptly vaporized and recycled.

The bridge was quiet. Ensign Kim sat at the bridge and supervised the delta shift. Tuvok was at ops.

"Anyone mind if I practice my clarinet?" He said.

"Not at all Ensign. I find your music quite relaxing." said Tuvok.

"You, Seven?" He said to the beautiful ex-Borg who manned the science station.

"It will neither hinder nor assist my function. Proceed if you wish." The two ensigns at the navigation consoles gave their consent as well, and Harry began to play. He started out with an old Irish song he had learned in Fairhaven from one of the musicians.

As he progressed, Seven joined in and provided a vocal accompaniment. Her voice was indescribable. Ensign Kim was in fine form. Even the stoic Tuvok seemed impressed. If the doctor was here, he would probably love it.

The door to the turbolift opened and Janeway came into the room. She looked stressed and in need of sleep. None of the crew members noticed her enter.

"Ensign Kim, what the hell is going on here!" She screamed, ending the improvised concert.

"Captain, I apologize for my misconduct. I was merely filling in time untill the next shift."

"Ensign, you are in charge of a federation starship. You have no right to endanger the ship or its crew by distracting the tactical officers with your childish antics." Harry seemed hurt.

"I am sorry captain. My conduct was unbecoming of a starfleet officer. I assure you it will never happen again."

"You're right it will never happen again, because you will never be sitting in that chair again. I gave you a responsibility Harry, and you let me down."

"Captain, I..." Janeway cut him off.

"I don't want to hear it! Get off the bridge. Now!" She snarled. Harry left, almost in tears. Tuvok spoke up.

"Captain, I think you were unnecessarily harsh with Ensign Kim."

"Did you suddenly become captain while I was off-duty?"

"I apologize for my forwardness." Tuvok returned to his duties. The turbolift door activated again, and Chakotay stepped onto the bridge.

"Good morning Katherine" he said cheerfully.

"I AM THE CAPTAIN OF THIS STARSHIP!" She yelled. Her voice dropped to a snarl and she approached Chakotay. "You will refer to me as 'Captain' or 'Sir'. You do not refer to me as 'Katherine'. Is that perfectly clear?" Janeway was trembling with rage.

"Yes Captain."

"May I speak to you for a moment, Captain?" said Tuvok.

"What is it?" snapped Janeway. "Is it wrong of me to expect that the ship's crew isn't putting on a concert while they are on the bridge, or that I get called by my rank? Should I have expected that B'lanna would do her job for once and fix the replicator so that the food is edible?" Janeway scrunched her face and put her hand over her eyes, as if she had some sort of massive headache.

"Captain?" said Chakotay. Janeway waved him away with her hand. "I think you should go to sick bay and see the doctor."

"I'm fine!" Snapped the Captain. Her combadge came to life.

"I disagree. I've been monitoring the bridge Captain, and I am afraid I must insist that you report to sick bay immediately. This is a medical order."

"I concur" said Tuvok. "Your emotional outbursts are damaging ship morale and may pose a threat to the crew. As ship security officer, I am afraid I must also insist that you report to sick bay." She stood there defiantly for a moment.

"Fine!" said Janeway as she threw up her hands and stepped onto the turbolift.

Janeway was seated on a gurney in sick bay, with a glare that would make a Klingon Dhakar master think twice. The doctor was examining a padd containing her biological information.

"I know I'm fine." She said.

"Do you mind if I get a second opinion?" Said the doctor. He got a puzzled look on his face. The doctor picked up a medical scanner and applied it to Janeway's abdomen.

"Well, this certainly explains the bad mood and irritable stomach." He said. "Captain, you're pregnant."

"What!" screamed Janeway. "That isn't possible! I haven't been with anyone!" The doctor showed her the Padd. She turned to him with a defiant look, and he offered her the medical scanner so she could check for herself. She looked closely at the Padd and finally accepted what the doctor was saying.

"I'd like to do some tests, if that is okay." Janeway nodded her approval. "In the meantime, I would like to inject you with something to help calm your mood swings. I want you to take the rest of the day off and get some sleep."

The next day, Janeway awoke feeling much, much better. She got out of bed and had a smile on her face for the first time in a week. Whatever the doctor had injected had done an excellent job on her.

The very first thing she did was go to engineering and apologize to B'lanna.

"I understand Captain. The doctor told me you were sick with something. He said it's the human equivalent of Pon Farr."

Janway chuckled. She went on and apologized to the other crew members. Ensign Kim was accepting as well, but seemed very much hurt by the Captains remarks on the previous day. She promised herself she would make it up to him at a later date. Seven and Tuvok were indifferent and acted as though nothing had happened.

Oddly enough, Seven knew she was pregnant the moment she stepped on the bridge. Janeway was shooting off dozens of pheromones and Seven's distinctive nose had picked up on it instantly. She was well enough versed in human interactions to not blurt out that Janeway was pregnant.

Tuvok was informed by the doctor, with Janeway's consent. His main concern was that Janeway had been impregnanted while she was sleeping. That had happened numerous times on Federation ships. Some species reproduced solely by implanting females of other species with their embryonic material. In some of those cases, the entire female compliment of the invaded ship would be impregnated. Janeway was the only case known, and no other crew members showed signs of being pregnant.

The doctor's sole concern was the Captain's health, and the health of the developing life form. The embryo was physiologically normal, in all respects. There was an oddity in the amniotic fluid surrounding the embryo, however. Many of the cells had bizarre DNA structures. They looked human, except that the chromosomes had exploded or collapsed, and formed into weird knot-like structures. The doctor was at a loss to explain it.

He had removed a sample of the embryonic DNA and confirmed that Janeway was indeed the biological parent, and the father was human. That ruled out any chance of an alien parasite or other such occurrence.

The doctor then turned his thoughts to the father. He was close to Janeway, same ethnic heritage, with brown eyes and hair.

The doctor scanned the ship's roster and began entering search parameters looking for white human males with brown eyes and hair. He found 28 potential matches. There was no way to refine the search without comparing the gene sequences of the 28 potential matches to the embryonic DNA, and he would need Tuvok's permission as security officer to proceed.

He sent off the request and the relevant information to Tuvok and turned his attention to the embryo itself. It was still in the blastocyte stage, only a ball of cells. There was one anomaly in the DNA of the embryo, a condition called "mosaicism". Exactly half the embryo was genotypic for blue eyes, and the other half was genotypic for brown eyes. This was very common and posed no threat. Since the gene for blue eyes would manifest itself in the part of the embryo that would become the heart, lungs and other organs, there was little chance that it would be noticeable. There were no other defects that could be seen.

The doctor put away his instruments and smirked as he congratulated himself on a good days work.

Janeway walked down the hall towards the turbolift. She was on her way to the holodeck to pay a visit to Fairhaven. The holographic Irish hamlet was her sole outlet, and she had been spending considerable time there.

The turbolift door opened and she met Tom and Seven inside.

"On your way to Fairhaven?" said Tom. Janeway nodded. She hoped she wasn't that much of a holodeck addict.

"I am glad to see you are feeling better Captain." Said Seven.

"I can't believe I acted like that with the crew."

"Have you decided on a name for the child?" Seven interjected. Janeway turned white.

"What child?" Said Tom as he looked at the Captain and suddenly 'got it'. "Congratulations captain." He stammered. She gave him a tight-lipped grin.

"I apologize Captain. I was not aware that it was intended to be a secret."

"I'd rather not talk about it right now, if you all don't mind."

"As you wish." Said seven. The door opened and Seven stepped out near the Astrometrics lab. There was a tense silence between Tom and the Captain.

"So... What are you going to be doing in Fairhaven today?"

"I thought I would go to see Michael, maybe go down to the seaside."

"Sounds like a nice day, Captain." The door opened and Janeway left. Tom continued towards the mess hall.

Several days later, News of Janeways impending pregnancy had swept throughout the ship. There was rampant speculation among the crew as to whom the father was. Janeway wasn't revealing who it was, and the Doctor wasn't telling either. Some of the crew thought it was Chakotay. A few of the more paranoid crew members deduced that the pregnancy was some sort of weird genetic booby-trap laid by the long-dead Cardassian infiltrator Seska.

Janeway had made her way to the sick bay. The doctor had some urgent news he wanted to discuss with her about the pregnancy. She suspected that the doctor had uncovered the father of the child. It had to be someone on board, but why would anyone want to impregnate the Captain? If it was an intentional act, it was possibly the stupidest idea imaginable. Not only are the possible fathers restricted to the ship, but the developing fetal DNA was a dead giveaway to his identity.

Perhaps this was something similar to what happened to Doctor Polaski on the Enterprise. She had been attacked by the external immune system of some young patients she had been caring for. Perhaps this was some sort of externalized reproduction system that had laid latent until something triggered it.

No, that would affect every human female on the ship, not just me. She thought.

The doors to the sickbay opened as she entered. The doctor was there alone.

"Captain, come in. I've got some unusual news." Janeway went into the doctors office and sat. The doctor looked at her, as if trying to find the best way to say it.

"None of the 28 men were positive for the paternal matches. The closest was Ensign Tom Paris with a 5 percent chance of being the father."

"Oh." Janeway's mind explored the possibility of bearing a miniature Tom Paris. She was glad that there was only a five percent chance. The doctor broke her chain of thought.

"That isn't my major concern, I'm afraid. Come with me please." He stood and lead Janeway out to the surgery area. Janeway got onto a gurney and lied down.

"This won't hurt a bit." Said the doctor as he began scanning her abdomen. "As I suspected." He put down the scanner and Janeway sat up.

"I took an initial sample when you first came in, another five days later, and one now. The samples show different DNA each time. I couldn't explain it at first. Do you know what mosaicism is?" Janeway shook her head.

"It's a condition where a portion of a being is genetically different than the rest of the body. For example, some people have skin coloration in patches rather than continual over the body. Everyone has mosaicism to some degree." Janeway listened intently.

"In your child's case, the mosaicism is so intense that there are virtually no two identical strands of DNA in the fetal tissue." He lowered his head. "I'm sorry Captain, but there is no treatment for a case this severe. I'm afraid it's terminal."

The news hit Janeway like a brick. She had been so obsessed with the notion of who the father was, that she never gave any thought to how the baby would change her life. Now that it was going to die, she felt a pang of loss.

"There is nothing you can do?" She asked.

"I can make you feel more comfortable. If you want, I can remove the fetal mass before it develops further."

"I don't understand. Who would do this?" Her mind raced back several months, when Voyager was being used by a race of aliens as a testing facility. Maybe this was something done by them, or Q. Maybe it was Seska after all.

"I have a theory. It's very extreme but as Sherlock Holmes said, 'Once you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, is the truth'." He walked over to the console and tapped some keys. "I believe this is the father of the child"

Janeway stared at the face in the console, shocked beyond belief.

"That's not possible." The console displayed the face of Michael Sullivan, owner and proprietor of the talking pig Pub in Fairhaven. A hologram.

"How could a hologram do that?"

"The computer tried to simulate him perfectly. When it became necessary for him to express DNA, the computer generated a holographic copy of the human DNA haploid genome. Unfortunately, it was not accurate enough to control the DNA replication, and thousands of errors entered into the strand with each replication event. The damage spread progressively through the body as it grew, and it was further complicated every time you entered or left the holodeck."

"Complicated? How so?"

"The holodeck is designed to simulate human biological functions. That is how you can be cut on a holodeck, feel pain, but have no actual injury. The computer tried to simulate the development of the fetus, and since it was of a holographic nature many of its component parts were also holographic. In a nutshell, parts of the fetus were vanishing every time you left the holodeck, and reappearing every time you reentered.

"If I returned to the holodeck and stayed there, would the fetus develop normally?"

"There is a chance some of the damage is reversible. One viable cell could produce a healthy infant. But I can't promise anything. This is something that has never been seen before." Janeway pondered her options.

The prospects of a human-hologram hybrid were frightening. What kind of life would it have once it was born? Would it be able to leave the holodeck or sick bay? Would it vanish like a normal hologram if it did? The doctor theorized that the offspring would have to stay in the holodeck for the rest of its life. Would it be "Immortal" as other virtual organisms were? Did she have the right to terminate the fetus simply because it was only partially human?

This entire debate is ridiculous, thought Janeway. It's a hologram. I can turn it on or off. The doctor looked up at her as if on cue.

"Captain, this is going to be difficult for you. I want you to know that if you need to talk, I'm here for you." The holographic doctor tended to humanize the holographic aspect of the life form within her.

Janeway decided to reserve any decision on the fetus until she had a chance to talk to the father.

Michael was standing at the bar when Katherine walked in, still in her red and black starfleet uniform. Seven and Harry were playing a game of rings. He leapt over the bar as she entered and ran to hug her.

"Katy! How was your day my love?" He asked as he kissed her.

"It was wonderful." Looking into his eyes, she sometimes had trouble believing he was a hologram. "I have something to tell you."

"What's wrong?" He said. "I can read ye like a book. It's another man, isn't it?"

"No, nothing like that." She was silent.

"Well, out with it."

"I'm pregnant." Michael seemed stunned. Janeway worried for a moment that the computer had no preprogrammed response for that. Then she remembered that Ensign Paris had programmed a responsive algorithm into the character subroutines. Michael spoke again.

"Katy! That's wonderful news!" He stood on the bar and called out to everyone. "Katy and I are getting married!" Seven and Kim looked at each other puzzled.

Janeway vainly tried to attract his attention before Michael made a bigger fool of himself. But Michael would have none of that.

"Free drinks for all!" The bar erupted in cheering. Katherine rubbed her temples and wished she wasn't here right at this time. Michael grabbed her arm and pulled her up on the bar next to him. Then he kissed her. Janeway laughed and went along with it, wondering if she could convince Harry or B'lanna to wipe Michael's memory of this incident.

"We need to talk" she said to Michael.

"Of course!" He said, elated. They got off the bar and left to a closed off room in the back.

"What do you mean you'll not wed me? You'll wed me Katy O'Claire, in a proper Catholic wedding!" he screamed. "I'll not have my son born a bastard!" Katherine tried to calm him down.

"It's got nothing to do with you, you're a wonderful man."

"What is it then?"

"You remember when we talked about what a hologram was."

"If I was man enough for one night, I am man enough for a lifetime. I love you Katy and I want to spend the rest of my life with you."

"That isn't possible and you know that."

"We can make it possible!"

"Michael . . . " she said hopelessly. "There's more to it than that. The doctor says the baby might not survive childbirth."

"Oh Katy, why did ya not say anything?" He hugged her and cried.

Janeway decided that she was going to try to keep the baby. Tom and Harry had built a new hall in Fairhaven that was just large enough to hold an exact replica of Voyager's bridge. The crew had transferred all functions to the holodeck, with the requisite security programs in place. Tuvok had been very insistent on that.

Some of the Fairhaven residents had been on the holobridge. Tom and Harry were anxious to show off where they worked to the adoring townspeople.

Janeway was on the bridge when Tuvok and the Doctor entered.

"Why won't you simply admit that you are a bigot?" Said the Doctor.

"Because I am not." He replied stoically. "Captain. I have devised an algorithm that will prevent any further holographic/biological interfaces. I was going to implement it when the doctor stopped me."

"If a crew member wants to have a family with a hologram, they should be entitled to do so!" Said the Doctor. "No one has the right to decide whom I will or will not settle down with."

"I would remind you that you are property of this ship," said Tuvok. "And as Chief of security I have the right to decide how the property is used."

"I am not property! I am the chief medical officer I can override you! Captain, are you going to let him implement this?"

Janeway sighed. This was a no-win situation. If she allowed Tuvok to implement his algorithm, she would in effect be forcibly sterilizing a member of the crew against his wishes. If she did not, she would risk another holographic pregnancy. Or worse yet, a holographically generated virus that could decimate the ship.

"Tuvok" she spoke up. "Implement the algorithm. However, I want you to install an override function that would allow holographic/biological mating and give the doctor control of it."

"As you wish captain." said Tuvok, raising an eyebrow.

"Thank you Captain." The Doctor's satisfied, smirky tone would have upset anyone else, but the unemotional Vulcan did not react. He glared at the security officer and left the bridge.

"Captain, if you will excuse me I have an engagement to attend to." He turned and left the Bridge.

Seven approached the Captain. "May I enquire about the status of your child?" She asked.

"I haven't been to see the doctor in a few days. He said constant testing might damage it further, and I don't want to take any more chances. Why do you ask?" Seven was the closest thing to a daughter Janeway had ever had. She could be trying at times, now being an excellent example.

"I have been pondering the idea of childbirth, in particular mate selection." Janeway knew where this was heading. Once some of the crew had tried to set Seven up on a date. It didn't work out, to put it mildly. She had been toying with the idea of trying dating again. Very few of the crew met her expectations, however.

"Human interactions are probably one of the hardest things to master. Even people born and raised human have difficulty with them. I picked Michael for many reasons. He was handsome and rugged, and I was lonely."

"I too am lonely. Perhaps I could attempt to create a suitable mate in the holodeck."

"That might be an idea worth trying Seven." Janeway secretly prayed that Tuvok had installed the new security protocols. She shuddered at what Seven's ideal mate would be like.

Neither of the women noticed that the bridge was devoid of men. The fact didn't raise any suspicions, but it should have.

Tom, Harry, and Neelix knelt on the floor giggling as they waited for Michael to come to the bar. Tuvok was also on the floor, but hardly enjoying himself.

"I fail to see the purpose behind this endeavor."

"It's an old English tradition, Tuvok." said Tom to what he hoped was Tuvok. In the darkness, it was difficult to tell.

"This is an Irish bar, Ensign." Tom laughed.

"That's not the point Tuvok, it's" he stopped as the door jiggled. "Shhh!" Michael walked in with Chakotay.

"What's happened here?" Cried Michael. "Tonight's Saturday, my busiest night! It's empty!" Suddenly the lights lit up and a crowd of men leapt from under the tables.

"Surprise!" They screamed.

"What on gods' green earth are ye trying to do?" He yelled as he leapt back a foot.

"It's an old Earth tradition" said Tuvok, looking at Tom. Tom approached Michael and put his arm around his shoulder.

"It's called a Bachelor party. When a man proposes to a woman, we throw him a party before he gets married. We all get drunk and have a good time."

"We do that every night Tommy Boy!" Said a drunken voice from the crowd. They all cheered and started filling beer mugs.

The doctor appeared out of nothing beside Tuvok.

"What's going on here?" He asked. "And why wasn't I invited?"

"It's an old English tradition. When a male is about to be wed, the other males in his social circle make fools of themselves. Apparently Ensign Paris is the only one aware of this 'Old English tradition.'" Tom raised his voice.

"Bring Her out Harry!" Said Tom. A beautiful young lady was escorted into the room by Ensign Kim. The crowd cheered and lifted their mugs as she started dancing.

She threw back her lush beautiful red hair and smiled at Michael. A crowd began to form around the dancer as she gyrated.

Without any warning, she changed from a nubile young human into a grossly overweight Klingon. She let loose with a belch.

"B'lanna" murmured Tom under his breath as the crowd erupted into laughter.

"She's a beaut Tom!" said Ensign Kim with a chuckle.

"Computer, delete dancer." The holographic Klingon vanished. Tom grabbed a beer mug and joined the party.

The next day, Katherine and Michael had a talk. She had chosen to meet him in his bar, at eight in the morning when there were no drinkers around.

Janeway had tried to prepare him for rejection. It would be a simple matter to adjust his holomatrix so that he didn't want to marry her, but she had locked herself out of the program some time ago.

"Michael, I can't marry you." She said, very matter of fact. Michael had seen this face before, there was no use arguing with her.

"Katy, we can make it work." No sense in giving up now, he thought.

"How? We're going to reach Earth someday, what then? How do you think starfleet would react when they find out one of their captains married a hologram?"

"I'm sure they'll handle it well. Your federation seems to be very accepting of different lifestyles and belief systems."

"There is a limit to how far you can push the envelope. Two women living together is a lot different than a woman living with a holographic character."

"I've never backed down from a fight in my life Katy, and I'm not going to start now."

"If things were different Michael ... But as it stands now, the federation would say I have 'holodeck induced psychosis' and lock me away. I'm not willing to sacrifice my career to push that envelope."Michael was silent for a moment. Then he gave into the inevitable.

"Damn you Katy." He said as he turned and walked into the room at the back of the bar. She knew he would get over it eventually. She hoped.

Some time later, Katherine had given birth. She had given birth before, in a bizarre incident involving a transwarp drive and Ensign Paris. The offspring were reptilian. Katherine liked to think that part came from Tom's side.

The doctor had given her painkillers to help her through the pregnancy. It was an easy birth. She was in labor for less than three hours. Michael and the Doctor had been with her in the delivery room, but now she just needed to rest.

The Doctor and Michael came into the room together.

"Where's the baby?" She asked. The Doctor took her hand gently.

"I'm sorry Captain. It didn't survive." Janeway rolled her head back and cried.

"I love you Katy" said Michael from her bedside.

The mist rolled off the Irish coast and covered the hills with a thick fog. All of voyager's crew, except Tuvok and Chakotay, had come out to the funeral. They were on bridge duty. All of the population of Fairhaven had come to the desolate hilltop cemetery.

Tom had done his best to make the scene look realistic, and he had done a very good job. A light, but frigid breeze washed in with the mist, chilling everyone to the bone.

Naomi Wildeman, the only child on board voyager, laied a holographic rose on the grave. She and her Mother had been a constant source of happiness to Janeway. Now they would only serve as a reminder of what she could never have on Voyager.

Acting as Priest, the doctor gave a touching service. He was perhaps the only crew member who empathized with the Captain's feelings. Everyone, Fairhaven and Voyager alike, gave the captain their condolences. Then they departed into the holographic mist. Michael came and stood beside her, over the grave.

Katherine had never felt more alone.