It seems a becoming trend for young people in college or just out of high school to apply for jobs. You all want that extra money Ma and Pa don't have to wire to your account, you're all sick of doing the naked pretzel and selling coke for the cash in your pocket. Hey, I wholeheartedly agree in young people working. While there are tons of kids trying to get jobs, tons more are lazy, fat fuckers, so get off your asses and get to the workplace!
Here are the tips I have concocted in making sure your dumb ass don't get fired. And of course, this is what I'm typing while at work myself. Hahaha.
1) When applying, get there early. Seriously, do you want to be late before you even get hired? Don't sleep in, don't get shitfaced the night before... be there!
2) Don't fuck around while at work. Make friends if you want with your coworkers, but being buddy-buddy with everyone during work hours makes your employer and you look bad. Employers and managers can and will nail you for fucking around if you are told to do something.
3) Get the job done before break. If you are given a task, make sure you complete it before you decide to go on your break or even to use the restroom. Leaving your job half-finished can look really stupid, even if you're only gone for a few.
4) Don't do the student employment thing at your college. Sure they give you all manner of wonderful things you can do for the school, and even a good pay, but it seems such the easiest hook-up. Get a real job. Don't get your university to do it for you, you lazy fuck! It looks better if you got a job in a retail store or an office, you get benefits, and always the chance for a raise.
4, continued) ...unless you get an internship. If you know your fate is to be that plastic surgeon or a serious filmmaker, try for an internship somewhere where you will benefit. Some internships hire, some don't, but the experience and foothold you gain in working somewhere you might work in someday is worth twice your pay.
5) Dating at work is stupid! Know what you're doing before fucking up your career!
6) Make sure you know the work you're doing in relation to your pay. In other words, don't settle for a $7/hr. wage if you're going to be scrubbing toilets and picking up barf in the bathrooms of your local bar.
Did I help? No? GOOD. Figure it out yourselves.
/...end.
Links:
Monster.Com - That famous website with bazillions of job listings. For adults who know what they're doing, so don't even click, you stupid student, you!
