TOP 40 DE EXPRESIONES PORTE�AS

1- I DON'T GIVE MORE: No doy m�s

2 -TO TAKE ONESELF THE VESSEL: Tomarse el Buque

3- A SLEEVER: Manguero

4 -IT IMPORTS ME A HORN: Me importa un cuerno

5 -WHAT THREW IT: Que lo tir�

6 -IT TAKES ME OUT OF LITTLE HOUSES: Me saca de las casillas

7- TO GO TO DO A STAGECOACH: Ir a hacer una diligencia

8- IT'S TO THE ROCKET: Es al cuete

9- WHAT FACE IS THE ONION: Que cara est� la cebolla

10 -TO BE A TRANSLEAK: Ser un tr�nfuga

11- TO STAY FATHERING FLIES: Quedarse papando moscas

12- WHAT A HANDRAIL: Qu� Baranda

13- LITTLE POTATO FOR THE PARROT: Papita p�al loro

14- TO BE EASY FUNGUS: Ser facilongo

15- TO BE GLASSED: Estar copado

16 -TO SPEND A PERSON: Gastar a una persona

17- WEDGED: Cu�ado

18 -WE ARE ALL ALIVE: Somos todos vivos

19 -TO MAKE THE DUCK: Hacer la Pata

20- STOPWATER: Paraguas

21 -TURKEY'S AGE: La edad del Pavo

22- A BINNER: Un tachero

23- A PENCILWAS : Una lapicera

24 -LET'S GO YET! : Vamos Todav�a! (LET�S GO ALL RAIL-WAY!)

25 -IT MATTERS ME A WHISTLE: Me importa un pito

26- I'M MADE BAG: Estoy hecho Bolsa

27- SEND FRUIT: Mandar fruta

28- TO BE APUMPED: Estar abombado

29- A WITHOUT-WAX PERSON: Una persona sincera

30- TO BE A DEAD LITTLE FLY : Ser un mosquita muerta

31 -OF PART OF WHO? : De parte de qui�n ?

32 -ARE YOU DRINKING MY HAIR? Me est�s tomando el pelo?

33 -IT WENT ME LIKE THE ASS: Me fue como el culo

34 -DON'T FORGET HEADS: No se olviden de Cabezas

35 -SPIRIT A MOMENT: Espere un momento

36 -DO YOU WANT MORE YELLOW : Quiere m�s hielo

37 -YOUR SISTER IS AN IRON : Tu hermana es un fierro

38 -THROW ME THE NEEDLES: Tirame las agujas.

39 -HE DOESN'T GIVE FOOT WITH BALL : No da pie con bola.

40 -HE HASN'T GOT TWO FINGERS OF FRONT : No tiene dos dedos de frente.

Aqui hay mas expresiones!!!! (no seran del top forty pero)

- SKULL DON'T SHOUT: Calavera no chilla

- TO CRY TO THE CHURCH: A llorar a la iglesia

- THERE WAS THE MOTHER OF THE JACKASS: Ahi estaba la madre del borrego

- TO DO EGG: Hacer huevo

- IT SUCKS ME ONE EGG: Me Chupa un huevo

- PUTTING WAS THE GOOSE: Poniendo estaba la gansa

- IT'S NOT NESARY: No es nesario

- WE'RE BAD BUT WE'RE GOING GOOD: Estamos mal pero vamos bien

- ROOM LAUGH SO: Salariazo

- BLACK LITTLE HEAD: Cabecita negra

- BLACK MOTHERFUCKER IS FUCKING US ALL: Menem

- SUN OF A BEACH: Sol de una playa

- DWARF BAD BORN: Enano mal parido

- ASS BORN: Parido por el orto

- AS BORING AS LICKING A NAIL: Aburrido como chupar un clavo

- IT COSTED ME A LOT: Me rompieron el orto

- HE IS BIGGER BALLED THAN THE PIGEONS: Es mas boludo que las palomas

- IT HAS MY BALLS FILLED: Me tiene las bolas llenas

- WHAT A PAIR OF RUBBERS!!!: Que par de gomas!!!

- WHAT OR TO!!: Que orto!!

- THE SHELL OF YOUR SISTER: La concha de tu hermana

- BIRD THAT ATE, FLEW: Pajaro que comio, volo

- WHAT CAN I CHARGE YOU?: Que te puedo cobrar?

- WHO PUT A HAND HERE?: Quien metio mano aca?

- WHORE THAT BIRTH IT: Puta que lo pario (creo que se puede mejorar, pero no me acuerdo de como se traduce parir)

- MILK SWEET: Dulce de leche

- IT DON'T HUNTS ONE: No caza una

One day God was looking down on earth and saw all of the evil that was going on. He decided to send an angel down to Earth to check it out. So he call on a female angel and sent her to Earth for a time.

When she returned she told God, "Yes, it's bad on Earth. 95% is bad and 5% is good."  Well, God thought for a moment and said, "Maybe, I had better send down a male angel; to get both points of view." So God called a male angel and sent him to Earth for a time.

When the male angel returned he went to God and told him, "Yes, the Earth was in decline. 95% was bad and 5% was good." God said, "This is not good."

He decided to E-mail the 5% that were good and encourage them, a little something to help keep them going.

Do you know what that E-mail said?

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Oh, so you didn't get one either?!!!!!

Prison Vs. Work

IN PRISON      you spend the majority of your time in an 8x10 cell.
AT WORK        you spend most of your time in a 6x8 cubicle.
IN PRISON      you get three meals a day.
AT WORK        you only get a break for 1 meal and you have to pay for it.
IN PRISON      you get time off for good behavior.
AT WORK        you get rewarded for good behavior with more work.
IN PRISON      a guard locks and unlocks all the doors for you.
AT WORK        you must carry around a security card and unlock and open all the doors yourself.
IN PRISON      you can watch TV and play games.
AT WORK        you get fired for watching TV and playing games.
IN PRISON      you get your own toilet.
AT WORK        you have to share.
IN PRISON      they allow your family and friends to visit.
AT WORK        you cannot even speak to your family and friends.
IN PRISON      all expenses are paid by taxpayers with no work required.
AT WORK        you get to pay all the expenses to go to work and then they deduct taxes from your salary to
. . . . . . . . . . pay for prisoners.
IN PRISON      you spend most of your life looking through bars from the inside wanting to get out.
AT WORK        you spend most of your time wanting to get out and go inside bars.
IN PRISON      there are wardens who are often sadistic.
AT WORK        there are called managers.

A construction worker on the third floor of a building needs a handsaw. He sees one of the laborers on the first floor. He yells down to him, but the man can't hear, so he uses signs.
He points to his eye, meaning, "I". Then at his knee, meaning, "need". Then moves his hand back and forth, meaning, handsaw.
The man on the first floor nods, then drops his pants and begins to masturbate.
The man on the third floor freaks out and runs down to the first floor yelling,   "What the hell is wrong with you! Are you stupid or something? I was saying that I needed a handsaw!"
The laborer looks at the carpenter and says, "I knew that. I was just trying to tell you that I'm coming."

The Preacher

A preacher was completing a temperance sermon: with great expression he said, "If I had all the beer in the world, I`d take it and throw it into the river."

With even greater emphasis he said, "And if I had all the wine in the world, I`d take it and throw it into the river."

And then finally, he said, "And if I had all the whiskey in the world, I`d take it and throw it into the river."

He sat down. The song leader then stood up very cautiously and announced with a smile, "For our closing song, let us sing Hymn # 365:
"Shall We Gather at the River."

IMAGINE (John Lennon)

Imagine there's no Windows,
It's easy if you try.
No fattal errors or new bugs
To kill your hard drives.
Imagine Mr. Bill Gates
Leaving us in peace

Imagine neverending hard disks,
It isn't hard to do.
Nothing to del or wipe off
And no floppy too
Imagine Mr. Bill Gates
Sharing all his money.
You may say I'm a hacker,
But I'm not the only one.
I hope someday you'll join us
And your games will fit in RAM
Imagine 1-Giga RAM
I wonder if you can.
No need for left-shifts or setups
And no booting again and again.
Imagine all the systems
Working all life-time
You may say I'm a hacker,
But I'm not the only one.
Maybe someday I'll be a cracker
And then I'll make Windows run.

LET IT BE

When I find my code in tons of trouble,
Friends and colleagues come to me,
speaking words of wisdom:
As the deadline fast approaches,
And bugs are all that I can see,
Somewhere, someone whispers:
Write in C.
Write in C, Write in C,
Write in C, oh, Write in C.
LOGO's dead and buried,
Write in C.
I used to write a lot of FORTRAN,
For science it worked flawlessly.
Try using it for graphics
Write in C.
If you've just spent nearly 30 hours,
Debugging some assembly,
Soon you will be glad to
Write in C.
Write in C, Write in C,
Write in C, yeah, Write in C.
BASIC's not the answer.
Write in C.
Write in C, Write in C
Write in C, oh, Write in C.
Pascal won't quite cut it.
Write in C.

YESTERDAY

Yesterday,
All those backups seemed a waste of pay.
Now my database has gone away.
Oh I believe in yesterday.
Suddenly,
There's not half the files there used to be,
And there's a milestone
hanging over me
The system crashed so suddenly.
I pushed something wrong
What it was I could not say.
Now all my data's gone
and I long for yesterday-ay-ay-ay.
Yesterday,
The need for back-ups seemed so far away.
I knew my data was all here to stay,
Now I believe in yesterday.