Diary of a new father:

 

Day 1: Baby came home today. Lots of pictures and videos were taken - One big happy family. Everything is going very smoothly. Baby wakes up every 3 hours for diaper change and feeding.  I have pulled all-nighters before, so this is not that different. Life is not going to change for me drastically. We took all the preparation classes and read all the self-help books so we are well equipped to handle this newcomer. I don't know why people think raising a baby is so hard. p.s. he is so adorable.

 

Day 2: So far so good. All he does is eat and sleep - nothing to it. I can get used to this. Sleep is for wimps. This is good for my body and soul. p.s. Fatherhood is not that bad.

 

Day 3: Ok, so maybe we do need some sleep once in a while. Everyone in the house is walking like a zombie. Whenever we find a little respite, this baby would crank up his full volume to get our attention. Still we can beat this. I believe I see a pattern to his madness. We have gone through tough times before. Thank God for Playstation 2 and Grand Turismo 3, at least I can get a little sanity playing the game away from the baby. p.s. this is a good time to practice my patience.

 

Day 4: He changed his schedule on us. I am beginning to suspect that he is toying with us. Just when we thought we got everything figured out, he would toss us a new riddle. I think this baby is much smarter than he looks. I have to be careful. I have faced difficult clients before and I will figure out a way to win this time too. p.s. my vision is beginning to blur. Might have to stop playing the video game.

 

Day 5: This monster changed its schedule on us again! This has become a personal battle for me. I really think it is trying to take over the family. Wife gets panicky whenever it makes a sound. I now know that it is smarter than it looks. Outside, it might look cute and huggable. Inside, I believe it is determined to destroy us. I am not going to let this happen. I have a plan...

 

Day 6: It got her. Lost the wife to its side today. She now obeys and worships it - satisfying its every whim. It has grown more powerful by the days. Now I know why most people think aliens have large heads in proportion to their bodies. P.S. my plan failed miserably. It is much more stronger than I thought.

 

Day 7: This might be the last entry in this journal. Lost the in-laws today. I am beginning to feel resistance is futile, but I am not going to cave in without a fight. I have maintained my individualism all these years, even through my marriage. And I am not about to give it up for this little 7-pound monster. Now I know why I lost touch with most of my friends once they have kids. I am not going to become one of them. God help us. They are going to take over the world…