When people say, "Oh, you just want to have your cake and eat it too." What the phuck good is a godd@mn cake you can't eat? What, should I just let my phuckin' cake sit there, and look and look and look, and try to find someone else who has cake, and eat their phucking cake instead? Phuck off. When people say, "It's always in the last place you look". What the phuck??? Of course it phucking is. Why the phuck would you keep looking after you've already phucking found it? Who the phuck are these people?
When people interrupt you while you're watching a movie, and say, "Did you see that???!!!" No, d*ckhead, I pay $8 phuckin' 50 to come to the phuckin' theater to stare at the back of the phucker's head in front of me. What the phuck do YOU come here for? To annoy the phuck outta me?
People who ask, "Can I ask you a question?" Didn't really give me a phuckin' choice there, did ya, ya sorry phuck. Hey, do you mind if I shoot you in the phuckin' head? Ooops, sorry...
People who POINT at their wrist and ask, "Do you know the time?" Hey, I KNOW where I wear MY phuckin' watch buddy, where the phuck do you wear yours? Up your phuckin' @ss, maybe? Should I point at my phuckin' crotch when I ask you where the bathroom is? Or maybe I should just pull out my phuckin' d*ck, and piss on your phuckin' leg, you mother phucker.
People who say, "I don't really mean to interrupt..." REALLY? Then shutthaphuckup. D@mn. It's pretty phuckin' simple.
People who come up to you when you're standing in line and say, "Excuse me, are you in line?" No, excuse ME, I didn't know you were phucking BLIND. Or do you think that I'm phuckin' standing right behind this phuckin' guy because I just REALLY like the way his phucking @ss smells? Tell you what, Mr. Stinky, why don't you just shut up and stand back there and smell MY @ss, you phuck. I WOULD tell you to suck my d*ck, but you'd probably DO IT, you miserable phucking pervert.
People who just stop you at random and ask, "Do you know how to get to so-and-so?" What... do I look like phuckin' Habib down at the the phuckin' Exxon, or something? Are you saying my phucking @ss is so big that I must have the whole phuckin' Encyclopedia Brittanica shoved in there, and I can just phucking pull one out and tell you the answers to some random sh*t? Do YOU know where your mother is? Maybe she's out bangin' one of my friends... Yeah, I got your phuckin' directions right here... Getthaphuckouttahere, ya phuckin' tourist.
