Man: "Haven't we met before?"
Woman: "Perhaps. I'm the receptionist at the VD Clinic."
Man: "Haven't I seen you someplace before?"
Woman: "Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore."
Man: "Is this seat empty?"
Woman: "Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down."
Man: "So, wanna go back to my place?"
Woman: "Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock?"
Man: "Your place or mine?"
Woman: "Both. You go to yours and I'll go to mine."
Man: "I'd like to call you. What's your number?"
Woman: "It's in the phone book."
Man: "But I don't know your name."
Woman: "That's in the phone book too."
Man: "So what do you do for a living?"
Woman: "I'm a female impersonator."
Man: "Hey, baby, what's your sign?"
Woman: "Do Not Enter."
Man: "How do you like your eggs in the morning?"
Woman: "Unfertilized!"
Man: "Hey, come on, we're both here at this bar for the same reason."
Woman: "Yeah! Let's pick up some chicks!"
Man: "I know how to please a woman."
Woman: "Then please leave me alone."
Man: "I want to give myself to you."
Woman: "Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts."
Man: "If I could see you naked, I'd die happy."
Woman: "Yeah, but if I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing."
Man: "Your body is like a temple."
Woman: "Sorry, there are no services today."
Man: "I'd go through anything for you."
Woman: "Good! Let's start with your bank account."
Man: "I would go to the end of the world for you."
Woman: "Yes, but would you stay there?"
Male Comebacks:
Woman: "Do these pants make me look fat?"
Man: "No, your @ss does."
Woman: "Do you think that model is hotter than me?"
Man: "I think all models are hotter than you. That's why they wear less clothing."
Woman: "I want your opinion on something."
Man: "GREAT, because it's been a long time since you've asked me for something you didn't really want! What do I get to be WRONG about this time?"
Woman: "What are you thinking?"
Man: "I was just thinking... 'Great, the b*tch finally shut up!' "
Woman: "Can I say something without you getting mad?"
Man: "Too late... Man, you really suck at this game!"
Woman: "Will you still love me if I get ugly?"
Man: "I love you now, don't I?"
Woman: "How many women have you been with?"
Man: "Are we talking before you, or after you?"
Woman: "If I wore more stuff like that girl, would you pay more attention to me?"
Man: "Would you also talk less?"
Woman: "If I were to die, would you remarry?"
Man: "Of course not, she's already married."
Alternate Comeback: "I'm sorry, could you repeat the question? I was thinking about your insurance policy."
