Madonna- Confessions Of A Dancefloor (WW)
(Warner Bros. Records)
The more I think about it,
the more I firmly believe that every career has a 20-year expiration date. To
wit: in 2005, the once reliable rockers U2 showed chinks in their ability to
hold the attention of the charts (with considerable more press going to Paul “Bono”
Hewson’s anti-globalization antics than to U2’s actual album) after a 23-year
career on the charts, while two years before then Iron Maiden showed they were
entering the twilight of their careers. This is all on top of acts such as the
Rolling Stones, Paul McCartney and Rod Stewart, artists who have now shown that
their only potential is through live concerts and have failed to release
anything that’s received considerable mainstream recognition in the last few
years. Of course, this shouldn’t take anything away from those acts- to be
successful for 20+ years is an achievement in of itself, but so far no artist
has managed to maintain chart success for much longer than 20 years.
However, if there ever was an
artist who could have broken that pattern, it would have been Madonna, but if “Confessions
Of A Dancefloor” is to be believed, Madonna may also have to enter the realm of
“retired” pop singers. At 47 years of age, The Queen of Pop has outlived many
of her contemporaries, including the King himself, Michael Jackson (and no, I
won’t be putting any little kid jokes here), doing so by reinventing herself
every so often to remain fresh. She’d always been ahead of the crowd, always
pushing buttons and always challenging, so, expectedly, the standard was set
pretty high for “Confessions”, and while it’s not shocking she didn’t hit the
standard, it is shocking how far off she was from it.
The thing that really stands
out about “Confessions” is how distinctly uncreative it is. A Madonna album
being uncreative is bad enough, but for those of us who have heard Saint
Etienne, E-Type or Paul Oakenfold, Madonna’s un-creativity becomes even more
boring to listen to. Heck, even Ian Van Dahl’s flub “ACE” provided more thrills
than “Confessions” did, and that was about as thrilling as a sloth race. Of
course, comparing Madonna to dance acts is a bit unfair considering that
Madonna’s target isn’t a dance fan but pop fans in general, but even in terms
of dance-pop (what Madonna has always been) it’s still not up to snuff. The
beats are recycled and clichéd, being many of the same beats that fly-by-night
boy bands and girl groups use, as there really isn’t anything here that hasn’t
been done before by either Madonna herself or someone else (presumably
influenced by Madonna), and, as a whole, it’s not even remotely interesting to
listen to, containing far too much filler than what we’re accustomed to from
Madonna.
“Confessions”, for what it’s
worth, does have its fair share of highlights: “I Love New York” is a melancholic
track that cheekily rails on the competition New York has for being “an
entertainment centre”, while “Hung Up”- which borrows from an ABBA tune (okay,
we’ll accept that since ABBA predates Madonna)- is actually quite catchy, being
the only “sure” single present on the album. The best song here is “Issac”,
featuring Yitzhak Sinwani, which has a cool Middle Eastern vibe that points to
Madonna’s ambitious spirit but only serves to drag down the final product even
more as it just exacerbates the gulf between the creativity of this track with
the creativity of the other tracks.
In short, “Confessions”
probably will live up to its name- as a confession that Madonna’s career is
just about to end. I could gander and say this is just an isolated failure, but
at the rate at which Madonna coasts here, it sure looks like she’s spent. After
a 22-year ride where she’s had 12 No. 1 singles, six No. 1 albums and Top 10
single from every album she’s ever released, it’s time to go. It’s been a fun
ride but unfortunately for Madonna, the party is over.
-DG